This is my apology fanfic for the internet not allowing me to update. Everyone is 15 and in highschool in this, but it's rated K. Hope you like it.
Arnold's POV
It was getting harder.
Every year it gets harder. Hiding, I mean.
It was easy at first. She would wear her long blonde hair in gravity-defying pigtails, her pink dress over a white undershirt, and pink and white converse.
And her pink bow. Oh, how I love that bow.
Her scowl and pout was cute to me, even with the unibrow she had on her face. At nine she was cute.
Unit she turned twelve.
The year she turned twelve was the year things began changing. Her unibrow became thinner; her golden hair became longer and put back into a low ponytail. Her long legs grew longer, making her tower over the rest of the rest of the girls and wore jeans underneath her pink dress/white shirt combo. And her pink bow.
Keeping the 'denser than a rock' façade and blank expression on my face was becoming more stressful but I have to. Gerald was beginning to catch on to every time I slip up and I'm not ready to tell Gerald. Although knowing him, he probably knows already.
It's not that I don't want anyone to know, it's just that I'm not ready to admit what I have-
"Arnold, my man, you okay?" Gerald asked.
I tried to cover up the nervousness with my usual daydreamer look, but I can still heel the blood rush to my face. Caught.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"First of all you had that weird look on you face and second of all your face turned when I caught you. Seriously man, I thought you were over Lila." He finished. The lunchroom is pretty noisy, so no one heard our conversation. No one but the owner to a certain pair of blue eyes burning holed into the back of my neck from across the room.
Should I tell him? It's really none of his business, but I need to get this off of my chest to someone.
"C'mon man! Arnold, it's me, Gerald! We tell each other everything!" he exclaimed, gaining us some unwanted attention.
I sighed. I had to tell him, didn't I?
"As long as you don't tell anyone." I said in the most serious tone I can muster. He looks at me with slightly widened eyes because of my tone, but agrees anyway.
"You have my word, buddy."
"Let's talk about this at a later time and somewhere more private." I muttered to him, trying to ward off people's stares.
*At the Boarding House*
"Alright man, spill." Wow, he gets to the point. How should explain this to him in an easy way.
"Why do you still have a crush on Lila?"
"I don't have a crush on Lila anymore. I haven't for years."
"Don't give me that nonsense, Arnold. I saw you-"
"It's amazing how dense you can be." I pretty much laughed at his dumbfounded expression. "I mean when it comes to anything dealing with Phoebe, that is. You're like Sid is around Nadine."
"Arnold, if you knew all of the things that you pass over-"
"Nadine and Sod stealing glances at each other, Rhonda and Harold's secret relationship, Stink's strife with asking Lila out, Curly going to therapy, Eugene and Park, even Brainy getting Gloria as his girlfriend. Have I left anything out?". Gerald just looked at me, wide –eyed and gapping like a fish that's been left on land for far too long. I just laughed harder than before at his expression while he tried to collect himself.
"Who told you all of this stuff? Rhonda and Harold could never work and Eugene and Park? That's ludicrous, man!"
"Oh, contraire Gerald, I have never really been dense. Quite the contrary and I confronted Park about him and Eugene. Their keeping it a secret, so don't say a thing to anyone or either of them. Then they'd know I told someone." I replied coolly. I don't know why I was so worried, this is fun!
I watched as Gerald stared at me with a thoughtful look. "Why?" and that's when the fun ended. I can hear the anger in his voice rise with each word."Why would you lie to all of your friends? The neighborhood? Why keep it up for so long?"
There are plenty of reasons to why I kept it up for so long. I admit I've never been dense, naive once, yes, but never dense. It's all because of her too. My fear of confessing, her fear of rejection, our quarrels to keep it all in, my stupid subconscious interfering in my dreams, it all linked to her. But if I tell Gerald all of that he's ganna want to know who, and I know he isn't ready to go up that alleyway yet. The whole me not being dense thing is going to hang on his head for some months no doubt, so I know it would take him at least the year to understand my reasoning.
"I'm not ready." I answered quietly. Gerald made a motion as if he was going to speak further when a knock on my door interrupted his thoughts.
""Shortman, dinner's ready!" Grandpa said opening the door before he saw Gerald. "Do you want to stay for one of Pookie's dinners, Gerald?"
"No thanks, Arnold's Grandpa." Gerald politely declined. Grandma's cooking had gotten slightly better, but he was still getting over the first time he tried it. "I should probably get going. Mom's probably wondering when I'm getting home."
Once Grandpa left, Gerald began collecting his stuff to leave. "Alright, bye." I said, in hopes he wouldn't press it. He walked to the door and stopped before looking back at me.
"You could have told me any time, Arnold. I wouldn't know why you would need to be ready, I would understand." and without another word he left. See, this is why I'm one of the only people in school that aren't dense. I almost laughed at what he thought I wasn't ready for was. He's right, I could've told him anytime, but then extra, extremely unwanted gears in his head would turn at ever move I make.
And we don't need that happening.
"Shortman," My grandfather opened the door again, peeking his head through to see me." You coming down?"
"Yeah I'll be down."
As I go downstairs, all I can think is: It's going to be an awkward few months.