Hey it's me again, with something a little less angst than the first time. This came from one of my sister's idea, about William telling the Lyoko Warriors how immature and irresponsible they were. I also wanted very much to write an AU of the episode 22 of code lyoko evolution, where Laura wasn't on his side. I mean seriously did she tried to devirtualize him? Nope, not at all. All she did was talking and such so I couldn't stop thinking of evil!Laura (I don't know why), yeah here it comes.
About other stories, Smoke Angel is gonna have another chapter because I really liked the idea, and so I'm writing it, though it's a bit different from the first chapter.
The image I used is from rrrui . deviantart . com
Well, enjoy and review if you want!
"Can I ask you a question?"
It was probably the worst decision they ever made. William didn't know where to begin to explain how bad of an idea it was. Still, he accepted it and regretted nothing, there was nothing better than the slight hope of finally getting rid of his worst enemy. Sure, it wasn't the way they would like it to be, but he didn't care. It's not like all their stuff concerned him. So when the girl he used to find annoying and troublesome came to him, saying they could bring the virus to the Cortex themselves, without the others, they could destroy Xana without waiting for them to be decided, he nodded and followed.
He wasn't lying when he told her it was weird to be on Lyoko without any of the Lyoko Warriors. It was reminding him those damn times lost here. He didn't considered himself as one of them, he never really was by their side. Yet the black haired teen would have preferred to have someone next to him, staying there alone was almost scaring, as if the past shadows were going to summon him.
The faster this mission would be done, the better it will be. He wanted to be left alone again, already. Not like he didn't enjoy Laura's company, but he needed solitude, calm. He needed to shut the world down, just for some hours. Not to see anything except darkness, not to hear anything in the sick silence except his own breath, not to talk, not to think about any of this. He didn't wanted questions, he didn't wanted answers, neither facts or anything that would break the peaceful atmosphere that would be floating in his room when he will come back.
He already missed the loneliness, the calm, his proper bubble he created. Going out of his heaven of peace, stepping here was pain but it had to be done. Heck, he didn't even wanted to go in class to see the other teenagers, what will he say? There was nothing he would have to share with them, they didn't had a shadow of a similar interest. He couldn't talk about him neither, and no one would understand anything, even the Lyoko Warriors. Lyoko was nothing he liked, especially right now, but someone was needed to destroy Xana, and he would be happy to do it with his hand.
"Why are you doing this?"
William had to drive the Skid, one thing he wasn't supposed to have done before. Sure Laura wasn't aware he knew perfectly well how to, he did it with a Navskid when Xana intended to create a full replica of the Skid. Never did it however, it should have been too much work for something not so useful. No, the digital sea wasn't any problem, neither the monsters. He would beat them easily. There was no danger in it, the only one was in the Cortex.
And, William had to admit, after the year he stayed in the sea it appeared almost welcoming. No one would understand it, but it was his home for all the time he prayed for anyone to save him. They would never know it, but after all the times Xana praised on his insecurities, on his fears, on his lost hope, on the gone friendship, on the loneliness, on the despair he fall into, the place he used to hate at the beginning more than anything became the home of his misfortune.
It was the reason he wanted to destroy Xana the most, the AI already made him doubt his allegiance, manipulated him so he would genuinely join his side and almost succeeded, and there was no way he couldn't do it again. And win this time. He was right, the proud William was weak, it was so easy to read in his mind. He needed strength, had to be stronger, physically and mentally. Everyone was expecting it, but as usual he wouldn't match, and this time because he couldn't.
He was afraid, still, and it seems he would never go on this fear, whatever it was Xana himself, his powers, or the consequences. He needed to get rid of him, more than anyone, and watching the Lyoko Warriors waiting purposely because of a stupid reason (not that Aelita's mother wasn't important, just that there were many other ways to contact and find her, after all it's not like Aelita had been able to really talk to her even once) frustrated him even more than Laura.
No they weren't aware, they weren't possessed almost one year by an evil AI that let him watch every single time he moved the strings of his shattered body to attack his friends, and kill them violently. By a program that understood humans way more than they thought, enough to let him being horrified by his actions, to point endlessly how his supposed friends weren't doing anything for him, just trying to ease their guilt, how they didn't see him differently as their enemy. He was Xana and Xana was him. Enough to turn him against them. They didn't control the situation at all, he had many proofs, they don't know what they are doing. They need to stop. Xana has to be destroyed.
"They aren't going to like this, you know."
Yes she know, and she answered she didn't really care. Yes, they probably would considering this as a treason, and use it to exclude her. But it wasn't like they really could, she was blackmailing them with their most cherished secret. Sure, the secret he always searched before finally finding. Sometimes, he thought he shouldn't have messed with their stuff, he would have avoided all the pain. He almost wanted to congratulate her with the semi malicious and mischievous nature that allowed her to get all the information and power she had. Somehow she was right, she was smarter than Jeremie, because she realized intelligence was the key to everything, even if she use it in an unconventional way. After all, she had to show and extend her influence if she ever wanted to become important, and her brain was the master piece, to gave package of wrapping lies.
He didn't noticed the metallic tones in her voice.
"And you, why did you accepted?" He didn't thought Laura would ask such a personal question. She never was interested in anyone's feelings. She was very cold, like a machine, and didn't seem to understand anything else than logic. She was a very strange girl, but so was he according to everyone since he came back. Yet, William doubted it was only to talk, she was like him and appreciated the silence even more than the words.
She was curious maybe of how he could have felt it. She had an urge to destroy Xana, because he was dangerous. He wanted nothing else than this, for revenge, to make him pay of all the times he made him suffer, to feel a little at peace, to finally be able to break every link with the Lyoko Warriors – they worked together but in real they almost hated each other. The result of tensions, bitterness, the acts he couldn't control.
In fact, William liked Lyoko no matter the circumstances. It was a world of silence, loneliness, digital life. Even when he recalled his possession, he thought at these very moments, the problem had never been this place. During the months he was digital, wandering on Lyoko hadn't been unpleasant at all, especially when he went to the point where he didn't wanted to be seen by anyone anymore. When he wallowed in his loneliness and began rejecting every person that wasn't him. When he came to the point he didn't even wanted to see the Lyoko Warriors again.
The thing is he would never had been free, and would have to kill anyone that stepped there next time. He realized he couldn't say all of this to Laura, there was no way he was going to evoke this period of darkness. "He- He has to be destroyed" he stammered instead, feeling a little pathetic. He wasn't convincing at all, and hope the girl won't insist too much. There was a strange thing in the place that attracted him, some kind of remaining darkness, throbbing like a part of him he lost.
"You really want to do this?"
He thought about it for a while, for once the question was very personal, and he wouldn't respond by his Warrior mask. There was something in Laura that made her scaring, the way she was always trying to find the truth, how she always seemed to know more than anyone. It was why they considered she couldn't be trusted, she was too dangerous, too gifted, so close to their group when they didn't know a thing about her.
William yet found they were wrong. Laura had a personality that was either repulsive or with an impressive magnetism. He felt attracted to her for many reasons, but he didn't know if it was a good thing. It wasn't threatening, but he feared she learn about him. He didn't wanted anyone to know him and especially not his past. Yet he felt caught like a fly, she was hypnotizing from the moment the mission began and it was almost like she manipulated him when his lips got closer to each other to make the word he'd never thought he would pronounce, not in front of her. "No".
"Why? I thought you wanted to destroy him. Why are you here then?" The sentence was wrong, like she knew his inner thoughts. Somehow, and in a way he didn't even noticed, it lit sparks of irritation in his mind. Frustration was coming back, and he couldn't help but letting the burning emotion run through him. Anger. Fury. Did she insinuated he was a traitor?
He was so sick of this bullshit, he never betrayed anyone but had the bad idea of making a mistake no one would forgive. He was fed up of being told he wasn't to be trusted, he never would according to them. It has been a while now the Xana's symbol isn't on his forehead anymore! He was helping their team since Xana came back, wasn't it proof he wanted nothing more? No, in fact it isn't. They expected him to put their little group before everything and they won't really accept him before he do so. This will never happen.
William didn't join them for friendship, to spend all his time with them. He hated them, the past tensions never went away and he never forgave them. Not only to push him away, but to put all the blame on him when he sadly made only one mistake that ruined his past life, erasing his willpower, his ability to do or think anything. The only thing he could do was watch as a stranger was making his body move, and hate, him and the ones that were his friends. They knew it was Xana, yet turned him into their enemy. He hated them because the ones that pretend to be friendly drown him off, sank him when he was so hurt and angry at himself.
He wasn't here for them, but to protect the Earth from a danger they apparently forgot. It wasn't exhilarating like before, he felt nothing like a hero. Someone had to do this, but he had no wanting to do it himself. The teen figured far before he will never prove himself as a good guy. He was here for himself, to shut out his demons, his insecurities and fears. However it didn't worked and he wished every mission to be the last. He wanted it to be finished, finally.
But it was betrayal for them, neither Laura or him warned them, they did it hiding behind their back. At least, that was what they were going to say. In fact they will only accomplish all the group's aim. Or what was supposed to be so. He was considered a traitor for long so why not keep it until the end? It was time to play this role they always thought he had. "I'm here because Xana is a danger and has to be erased to the network. I'm here because I'm done of them thinking I'll betray them someday, so I decided willingly I will."
"But they will only reject you more after this!"
He was wondering now why Laura brought him into this, if she was so worried of this fact. Sure she needed someone to go to the Cortex and put the virus inside. Although she could have did it herself. Actually maybe she didn't because she was afraid of facing Xana herself. There was no way to blame her, she had been cautious and calm when the first time he could he had been eager to fight and cocky. Pride had always been his flaw. Today it still was, but he learned to be careful.
Laura was no chicken, she surely though she couldn't afford it alone. And with him they had good chances to succeed. She had nothing to fear in front of the keyboard and he neither with her ability of programming. She was faster and more gifted than Jeremie. Finally they will get rid of Xana! They'll think and talk all they want, but they won't come back in time, the thread would finally be eradicated. They couldn't make him more harm than they already did. If they think bullying or ignoring him is going to change anything, they are so wrong! He had seen far worse now, they can't hurt him. "Actually I really don't care."
"You know Laura, there is nothing efficient they can do to make me harm. I don't give a shit about them. I'm tired having to stand them all the time. I don't like them, not at all, and I rather break this stupid alliance as soon as possible. I don't want to be with them, not anymore, I prefer being the furthest possible from them."
The shock on her face must have been funny considering how her voice was surprised. Sure, she shouldn't have expected him to say anything like that, to think totally against the group. She knew he wasn't really their best friend, but she shouldn't have expected him to hate them.
"Why are you so unfriendly with them?"
"All of them let me down. They are accusing us of not listening to them, but all along they had been immature. We are dealing with a thread that could eradicate the whole human race! You haven't experienced Xana past attacks, when he really was powerful, but he could possess people. He once sent Krabes on Earth, and we could have died with Yumi and Ulrich. He changed all the school into zombies. He placed a bomb on the factory. All of this happened before I was aware of their secret. They thought they could stand it alone, sure a group of five teenagers! Against an AI that can kill them all without using many of his power! They were putting the whole world in danger, for Aelita. A life against billions. And all along they thought they were heroes, that were saving people or something when they spread the thread. They had been stupid, and they still are, keeping Xana alive only to find Aelita's mother! How can they not realize how dangerous it is?"
He was angry again, fury was running in his veins. He never succeeded to get over this issue since his possession. Always crushed by a powerful emotion, always irritated at the others and especially himself.
"And you never were like them?"
The question hit him like a blow. She didn't realized how right she was by asking it.
"At first yes." he responded, feeling defeated. "But I- I got it finally because of- some experience". William stayed unclear, afraid he had to precise.
"What are you talking about?"
Was it him or the voice was almost mocking? He must have imagined it. He didn't know how to respond without mentioning the year he spent under Xana's control. In a place where he didn't grow, he was one year younger biologically. But the life hadn't stopped on Earth, his identity aged when he wasn't there. He realized actually he wanted to talk about it. To make himself hear about that subject he was the most concerned. He wanted to tell how it happened, how he felt it, without the Lyoko Warriors lies to cover. He wasn't attacking them, Xana was. He wasn't their enemy, Xana was.
"He has a monster to control people on Lyoko. The Scyphozoa, it's called. It makes you like a stranger in your own proper body, used by him. There is no way you can stop it. It stops when you devirtualize the person that's possessed. But if you don't it keeps working. I was caught by this monster, and they weren't able to stop my body. Xana devirtualized them all, and used me to destroy Lyoko.
I should have died in the digital sea. But what happened was worse, he recreated by virtual avatar byte after byte, turning it as his follower, the one that commanded his army by his orders. That's what I was for all the time I stayed there. They saved me after one year, you get now how long it was? It isn't the worst. When he was done playing the puppet master, he threw me in some place I can't situate and left.
All the time I was attacking the Lyoko Warriors I was conscious not only I realized but I was forced to watch, every single time. I struggled all I could at the beginning, but I soon understood it was useless, there was no way I could escape his control. And when I was alone, waiting something in the darkness, I thought after a while I was lost. I thought they won't ever save me, won't ever help me. I was lonely, I was hurt and sad, I was angry at them because they never warned me something like this could happen, and especially at me to let such a thing happen, to be so powerless. I was scared, no terrified of him and his power, and goddamn how aware of it he was.
He broke me. After a short time, I didn't really know how to count the time anyway there, heck I wasn't even sure the time was passing. True is it isn't, that's why I'm a year younger than Yumi know. Quickly there were whispers that I hoped were nothing to be heard. Every time I was left alone, coming from nowhere, always hissing in my ear like it was coming from my own head. I thought he created it first, but the voice was particular. It was mine.
I couldn't help but listen to it, let all the words sink and mark my mind. I couldn't even tell if it was real or if I was only thinking of it. I understood it was coming from me. All the things it said were harsh but true. I was a failure, I knew I always were and this time was no exception. I made a mistake, such a stupid thing it appeared it wasn't important, it appeared only to be a detail when it was actually the worst idea I've ever had. This tiny mistake ruined it all.
They told me the Scyphozoa was dangerous but so is every single one Xana monster, so I went straight to battle it. I didn't understood the harm it could cause before my mind went separated from my body.
Without enough time to get it, I was dizzy, like my conscience was in a fog, I was saying incomprehensible things to the monsters and holding my sword in front of my friends. I was very confused and then my past avatar was destroyed. Actually all of this was my fault, I'm aware of it, but I don't think the blame belong to me only. I think I never wanted to betray them, it was an accident, caused either by my pride and by lack of information, of communication. They hadn't told me much you know because I first went to this place."
Laura seemed astonished by his words, she never expected it. She had thought there was a reason for him to hate them like this, and she had imagined bullying or something like this. This was nothing, the reality was far worse.
"You remember all of this?"
William nodded, then remembering she could see him he responded he did.
"And you still find the strength to go there?"
He didn't wanted to talk about this, how he was really feeling those travels on Lyoko. But he already went very far talking to her, and considering how anti-social she was (not more than him but already very much) she won't spill it. So he narrated her how, no matter what happened, he found calm when driving in the digital sea. How he felt complete when on Lyoko, almost at home. The clone Xana sent him wasn't wrong, he was better on Lyoko than on Earth.
Yet he knew he shouldn't, so sometimes he tried to stay distant with the digital world. How could the group understand it was almost like he was hearing Lyoko's call? He didn't wanted to fight, he didn't wanted to be a hero anymore. No way he could be considered as one anyway. He just wanted to go on Lyoko, alone and quiet finally. The world shutting down, replaced by something where nothing was to be heard, no movement, a sight that never changed. Something constant, stable.
Xana was the only problem after all. Laura didn't responded for long. He feared she may have find him too weird, too different and regretted her choice, surely she would have preferred someone else than him. But when she finally talked, there wasn't disgust in her voice, nothing he had ever heard from all the people that rejected him. On the contrary she said she was... impressed. William didn't understand why she reacted like this, she should be unpleasant by now. She seemed to notice it in the uncomfortable silence.
"Would I have ever lived the quarter of what you experienced I wouldn't be able at all to go in this place, no matter anything. I don't get how you're still able to stand up."
He smiled, the kind of smile he never gave to anyone since long. Laura had no idea how well it was to finally have someone that empathized a little. But it was true the Lyoko Warriors didn't know the whole story, and they surely thought he didn't remember. He hadn't the gut to tell them at the second he returned on Earth, finally free. At first he didn't believed it and thought it was another hallucination. When he felt Yumi and Ulrich's contact on his skin he understood he was finally saved. But they looked so happy to see him again, he just pretended with them everything was alright.
He shouldn't have, every chance to talk to them was lost after. He realized it in the mission they had destroyed Xana – or thought they did – when they told him they refused him to go on Lyoko again, that he couldn't be trusted.
He woke up in a room of the factory, alone, hurt. He crawled down to the school, knowing perfectly he was possessed again and fought them another time, only this one he nearly killed two of them. They rejected him so violently after he didn't dare yelling them they weren't the only ones that have been wounded by all this story, that they may have fought it longer than him but he lost one year during which he couldn't do anything to stop himself. He had been their enemy, whether he struggled or not he'd never been able to break the contrary. And that now, because of them, he was all alone, without any chance to get any friend considering how everyone thought he was a total moron.
"All this time I abandoned everything. I quit fighting quickly. I'm not doing it again. I'll stand and fight, because it's the best I can do. I often have shut down, but I won't give up. I'm not ready to embrace darkness again, so I'm fighting my demons. I noticed them, but I'm not letting them overpower me. Especially if Xana is on the other side. I won't join him willingly. But I'm afraid, he always succeed making me doubt my allegiance. I fear him, that's the reason I really want to see him gone. Well you know now. We never shared the same motivations."
"Now let's do it. After it's done, it'll be finished for the best."
He was stepping feet on the Cortex. The place was totally quiet, no one else than him. Perfect. He was waiting for Laura to materialize the Megapod but he wasn't in a hurry, on the contrary he was peaceful. It was one of those moments of silence, where no one troubled him, and he really enjoyed it. Furthermore after confessing so many things to Laura, he almost felt reassured, way better than before, like he released a heavy weight. Talking about it was one of the best things he ever done. Now he felt like nothing bad could happen. Yeah, they were going to make it, and gracefully they will succeed. No fear, nothing to stop them. She warned him there was Krabs that were coming. No problem, there was nothing he couldn't handle. They were going to beat Xana. Feeling well for irony, he slashed them using the same moves he did when he was possess. Same way to fight, only this time it was against him. William destroyed them quickly and returned to immobility, proud. The same kind of pride he had the first time. This time he knew he could handle it.
Everything crumbled though the second he heard the familiar sound. His face discomposed immediately. He panicked and lost any coherence in his thoughts or moves. He was terrified, his hands shaking violently. William tried all he could to breathe, when did it became so difficult? He realized he was shuffling, why was air so useless here? He couldn't stop staring at the nightmarish creature, and suddenly felt an intense heat that was absolutely impossible. He couldn't think of anything clearly and his body refused to move.
He had even no idea where he found the strength to pull himself out of this trance, enough to scream "Scyphozoa! Help!". Frozen in place, right in front of his phobia, the only thing that came to his mind was the order to escape. Escape now. I have to leave, god I have to go away!. He let the thought command his brain, becoming a leitmotiv, and he realized he had to run. His legs were like jello, but he managed to back away, never losing eye contact with the monster. Slow steps at first, it accelerated and he began rushing anywhere else, turning so he would go faster.
Yet he was quickly stopped by an earthquake that caused a change in the floor's level. He was stuck now, blocked by the digital sea. No matter what happens, you don't fall in the digital sea. Never. Even if Xana possess you again. How much he hated to admit it, the order was pertinent. He wouldn't allow his death. It was impossible to escape the second fate though, and once again he yelled, "LAURA!". She only responded by a chuckle, and her voice cracked, electronic and distorted. It wasn't Laura. A specter. He had been fooled all along. He was really lost now. Surprisingly, he calmed down. "I'm sorry William, you should have chosen your allies better."
When the monster approached, he didn't back out. He couldn't, the digital sea was few inches behind. The mask of fear and despair changed into a determined one. When it almost touched him, he didn't flinched. And when the tentacles eventually made contact with his back, just before it accomplished its mission, he drove his last weapon on it. The nails went far enough in the smooth textures to cut some of them, and before his control was stolen, he had the satisfaction to feel the blood of the worst nightmare in his hands, a smirk deforming his face who only showed an expression of pure hatred.
The electronic laughter resonated long in the room.
Truth is you won't have me today, no matter what you do.