A/N: Does this scenario sound familiar to you people? It should. I like to explore around different fanfictions on this site and I happened to come across one called "Ways to Bug Dimentio". Okay, three that involved bugging Dimentio but still. So letting those one-shots settle in for a while in my mind, I decided to do one myself.

But this time, I'm limiting the number of ways to 100 and instead of Dimentio, I'm using the one and only...

King Bowser!

This story takes place after Super Mario 3D Land which is where this first chapter kinda applies to... keyword being kinda.

So without further ado, let's start. Shall we?

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Mario or any of its characters nor will I ever will. I only own my OCs

It was another beautiful day in the Darklands. Despite its name, the land itself got a lot of sunshine over the entire land. It was the sort of day where you'd go out to play and waste the day on fun!

Not in the case of the royal Koopa family.

The land was ruled by none other than King Bowser Koopa. The king had locked himself up in his study. After his recent failure to defeat the red Italian plumber, he was trying hard to think of another plan. Unfortunately, always trying to stop the Italian plumber really did waste one's thinking tanks. The burly king had been thinking about a way to defeat the bros for three straight hours, always brushing off his troops, his kids or Kamek.

He didn't want anyone or anything to disrupt him. Not his troops, not his kids, not even Kamek or Kammy.

But as time continued to snail by, Bowser started to grow frustrated. He put his burly head on his desk and sighed. "Still nothing..."

He stared at he blank piece of paper he had. "Hmm... maybe now would be a good time to take a break..."

As he got up, he heard a knock on the study door. "Come in."

A Hammer Bro came into the study. "I hope I'm not disturbing anything your Burliness."

"You're fine." replied Bowser "I was just taking a break. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." replied the Hammer Bros "Except there are two girls at the front door claiming they want to speak with you."

Bowser raised one of his eyebrows in confusion. "What? I wonder what this could be about..."

"Should I bring them here?"

"No." replied Bowser "Let me see them and I'll decide."

The Hammer Bro looked down then back up at Bowser and said "Alright."

With that, the Hammer Bro brought the Koopa King towards the entrance of the castle. When he got there, he saw two human girls with two other Hammer Bros. One of them was a blonde with her hair tied into pigtails. She had blue eyes and wore a green jacket with pink pants and white sneakers. She looked very excited as she had a big smile on her face. She was talking on and on to a Hammer Bro who was likely trying not to hurt her with his hammer. The other girl was a brunette with a shoulder length hair. She had a blue sleeveless jacket with the sights of an orange t-shirt underneath her jacket and she had green jeans with white sneakers. She was just watching the blonde haired girl ramble on and on to the guard without stopping her but she had a bored look on her face.

The brunette caught sight of the burly Koopa King. "Oh good. It's about time."

She put her hands on the blonde's shoulders and turned her around to see the king. "Lookie this way now."

A bigger smile appeared on the blonde's face. "Oh my god! We are actually seeing Bowser! I was kinda hoping we'd be able to see his kids too, but I guess this'll have to do."

She started to wave at him while saying "Hi there!"

Bowser stared at the two girls in confusion. "Um... who are you two?"

The two girls stared at him for a few minutes. They looked at one another with a smile on their face. "He's calling for an introduction!" announced the blonde. "Shall we give him one?"

"Oh yes." replied the brunette. "You may go ahead."

The blonde pumped a fist in the air and ran up in front of her friend. "I am the blonde of awesomeness, the insane one, the psychotic blonde, and most importantly, the bane of all your freakin' existences! I am Tina!"

The brunette ran up beside her friend and exclaimed "And I am the one who greatly suffers from ADHD, can't watch what the hell she says and aspires to be an artist and an author, I am the Twilight Shadow Mistress!"

There was a brief moment of silence before Bowser found the words he wanted to say. "Okay... let me get this straight..."

Both girls looked at Bowser. He pointed towards the blonde and said "You're Tina..."

"Ding ding! We have a winner!" exclaimed the pigtailed girl happily.

He ignored her and pointed towards the brunette. "And you call yourself the Twilight Shadow Mistress?"

"That or you can call me TSM for short." replied the brunette with a smile.

The three Hammer Bros and Bowser continued staring at the fangirls. The Hammer Bro who escorted Bowser said "You don't dress like a mistress."

TSM stared at the Hammer Bro then sighed. "Okay look. I'm not really a mistress. That's just the name I thought up of." explained the brown haired girl "The 'Twilight' part does NOT come from the Twilight series. It actually comes from the name of my favorite Legend of Zelda game being Twilight Princess. The 'Shadow' part comes from the fact I enjoy dark things such as things like the darkness taking over. The shadow thing is just better than 'darkness' and the 'Mistress' part comes from the fact I like Dimentio who names himself the master of dimensions except calling myself the mistress of dimensions is narcissistic and I don't like how it sounds for me. I mean, I can't manipulate dimensions. So I just used mistress since I like the word mistress."

Bowser stared at the two girls. "Okay then. TSM. Tina. Answer me this... why are you in my castle?"

"Why that's simple!" exclaimed the blonde haired girl "You see, we decided that the world we live in is BORING. So we decided to come over here since this place is so much fun! Then I got this Tinatastic idea that we should come here! And we were kinda wondering if we could live with you guys for a couple of... months?"

The Koopa King's eyes widened at the blonde haired girl. "You want to stay in MY castle?"

"Duh. Does it look like we came here to stay with Peach?" Tina turned to her brunette friend and said "We're here to stay here. Right TSM?"

TSM chuckled nervously then said "Yeah. Sorta."

"See?" said Tina. "So can we stay?"

Bowser stared at them with a look of disbelief. He managed to find his words again and said "Why would I let two random fangirls stay? For all I know, you two could've been sent by some of the other enemies I have to try and kill me! Like that weirdo Fawful!"

"Why would we be associated with Fawful?" asked Tina "Despite the fact he's awesomer than you, we're not related to a bean. I mean, hello? We're humans!"

The Koopa King ignored Tina's comparison to him and Fawful and just said "Can you prove you aren't?"

"I'm pretty sure Fawful's dead." responded TSM.

Bowser stared at them. He sighed and said "Well I'm still not letting you live in my castle!"

"Why not?" asked Tina with a child like tone.

"Because I already have eight kids to deal with! I don't need two fangirls to add up to the work!"

"I wouldn't worry about us." replied TSM "I'm more sane to than Tina who in the latter is the mere definition of insanity. She's the one you should worry about."

Bowser stared at them with a surprised look on his face. "Now that you've told me that, what makes you think I'll let you stay?"

Both girls stared at the Koopa King, then at each other, then back at the Koopa King. After a brief moment of silence, Tina asked "Can we ask some questions?"

Bowser raised one of his burly eyebrows in confusion. "Questions?"

"Yeah." replied TSM "Some questions based on... recent events."

"What recent events?"

An evil smile appeared on Tina's face. "Simple. We want to know how well you took another loss to the hands of Mario."

"Wait, what!" exclaimed Bowser.

"Oh yeah." replied TSM "We know your whole plot about the Super Leaves and how you kidnapped Peach once again but only to lose to Mario. Again."

"And you lost the same way you did in the first every Mario game!"

Bowser stared at the two fangirls in confusion. "What do you mean by game?"

"Oh you don't know?" asked Tina "Whatever sort of failures and achievements happen here are games for us!"

"Not bad games at that." added TSM.

Bowser's eyes widened. Tina and TSM exchanged smile and looked back at Bowser. "We just want some answers on a few things..." said TSM.

"Like how did you manage to recruit Dry Bowser if he's pretty much you but as a Dry Bones?" asked Tina who had tape recorder in hand.

Bowser stared at the tape recorder. Before he could ask where the blonde got it, TSM came in and asked "What makes you think having your castles with lava and switches will solve your problems in defeating Mario? Because based on past experiences, it never works. Ever."

Before Bowser had the chance to say something, Tina butted in and asked "Why DO you battle Mario in a place where the switches are easy to get to? Think you should at least add a few more obstacles than just yourself?"

The Koopa King sighed. He looked at the two Hammer Bros. "Get rid of them."

Each Hammer Bro grabbed onto one of the girls by the arms. The doors to the castle opened up and the two guards threw the girls out of the castle. TSM got up before Tina who just laid on the ground. She looked back at Bowser. "That wasn't cool!"

"Well there is no way I'm gonna put up with you two! Especially since seeing a blonde and brunette just makes me think of Peach and her tomboy friend Daisy!"

One of the Hammer Bros looked at Bowser and said "But this brunette has brown eyes."

"I don't care about the minor details!" bellowed Bowser "Just don't think about coming back in here!"

With that, he slammed the doors shut. Tina got up after he had and looked at the castle doors. She stared at the entire castle as a glare appeared on her face. "That's it. Nobody can throw Tina Baker out without getting away with it! At first, I just wanted to annoy him but now, I want to get my REVENGE!"

She grabbed TSM by the collar of her jacket and started shaking her saying "We need to get inside!"

After she had let go, TSM adjusted her jacket again to keep herself from choking. She looked at her insane blonde friend. "Well we may as well just go back. I don't think we can get back inside Tina."

Tina ended up grabbing onto the collar of TSM's jacket again. "I refuse to give up! I'm freakin' Tina! Do you expect me to give up THAT easily! I refuse!"

After TSM adjusted her collar a second time, she said "Well do you know how we're gonna get into the castle?"

The insane blonde thought about it then snapped her fingers with an idea in mind. "I've got it!"

TSM looked at her as Tina explained her as usual crazy plan. "We sneak into the castle by an open window. When we get inside, we find one of the Koopalings and see if they'll convince their dad to let us stay!"

"What if the walls are booby trapped or something?" asked TSM.

Tina only rolled her eyes. "Come on TSM. Think logically here. What are the chances of Bowser rigging his walls? I mean, Mario has never, forever never, climbed up Bowser's walls to get inside. Even though he should. I mean I think it'd be easier than having to go through a lot of enemies and lava. You know, just climb up and get inside and save the princess without the Koopa King knowing."

TSM thought about it. "Good point. Guess Bowser isn't the only one who uses no logic."

Suddenly, the brown haired girl froze and stared at Tina. "Hold on, did you actually use logic in this situation?"

Tina glared at her. "Let's just start climbing."

Inside the castle, the eldest son of Bowser Ludwig von Koopa was in his music room thinking of another one of his Koopa Symphonies. At some point, he came to a stop. He stared at the sheet of music he had in front of him and studied the notes carefully. There was something about his symphony that he didn't like except he couldn't quite place his claw on what. In the end, the composer decided he needed a snack like some chocolate.

He turned around from his seat and opened up a drawer. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw he didn't have any chocolate in the desk. He turned around to a different desk and opened it up as well. Nothing.

Ludwig got up and went to a bigger cupboard door. He typed in a code and the door opened up to reveal different instruments such as trumpets, flutes, violins and clarinets. He had to to keep some of his instruments locked up since his younger siblings like Lemmy and Larry were bound to touch them. Once, Lemmy and Larry tried to use his trumpets as bubble blowers. Since his younger siblings would never figure out his code, with Iggy being the possible exception, he kept other things away from them for safe keeping.

He pushed away a few things and tried to find a chocolate bar but again didn't find anything. Ludwig closed the door and thought to himself. "Maybe in my room?"

The blue haired composer walked out of his music room, locked the door and went towards the halls with his and his sibling's bedrooms. He opened the first door on the right side of the hall revealing his room. He checked his drawers for any signs of chocolate. He managed to find an Aero bar in a his desk drawer. He took the bar, opened it up, and broke two pieces off. He popped it in his mouth and wrapped the remaining pieces with the wrapper again.

As he walked out of his room, a certain blonde ended up at his window. Tina looked inside the room and saw Ludwig. She tapped on the glass which caused the blue haired composer to jump in surprise. He looked behind him to see the blonde who waved at him like an idiot. "What the?"

He went to the window and opened it. Tina still had a smile as she said "Hiya Ludwig!"

"How do you know my name and who are you?"

"I'm Tina." replied the blonde "And I'd tell you except you probably won't get it."

Ludwig backed away to let Tina climb into the room. When she got in, she looked around the room with a look of awe. "Oh wow! I didn't think for once that I'd actually be here. This is so awesome! This'll be something I've always wanted to do! Meet the Koopalings up close!"

The blue haired prince stared as Tina explored his room. She jumped onto the bed which frankly aggravated the composer. "Get off! I had to make that this morning and I don't want anyone to ruin it!"

Tina stared at him. She got off and looked in the direction of his desk. She opened up a drawer and smiled. "Oh my god! Aero chocolate!"

She took the bar out, unwrapped it and stuffed two pieces into her mouth. Ludwig swiped it from her. "You can't touch that! It's mine!"

The blonde crossed her arms and walked away from Ludwig. "You're just like TSM and her chocolate."

Ludwig raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Who?"

At that moment, TSM popped up at the window. "Whew... Didn't think I'd be able to make it up here... and I'm really not surprised you got here before me Tina."

The blue haired Koopa stared at the brunette. "And who are you?"

"TSM." replied the brunette haired girl as she climbed in. When she got in, she closed the window and faced Ludwig. Ludwig was still somewhat confused.

"What does TSM stand for?"

"I'd tell you but there is no way I'm going through another explanation." replied TSM.

Ludwig stared at the two girls who were looking at him intensively in two different directions. Tina was a few steps behind him while TSM just stood near the window. "Um... alright would you two mind explaining why you're in my room?"

"Well were just trying to find an open window while climbing the walls of this castle." started Tina "So we, and when I mean we, I mean myself since TSM didn't want to continuously hold onto bricks."

"Don't judge me."

Ignoring her brunette friend, Tina continued. "Anyways, we looked around for an open window but couldn't find any. So at some point, I told TSM to come with me this time so we could cover more area. And I found your room and you happened to be leaving so that our chance and here we are talking to you!"

Ludwig stared at her. "Interesting... now please inform me on why you wanted to come into the castle in the first place."

TSM and Tina stared at each other. TSM responded by simply saying "It's classified info that only we can know of and maybe your dad if he can figure it out. And we tried once but your dad kicked us out."

The composer raised an eyebrow at the fan girls. "And why may I ask did he do so?"

"Because we remind him of Peach and Daisy." responded Tina, not even mentioning to the prince about the questions they asked him.

Both of Ludwig's eyebrows were raised and he had a look of confusion. He looked at both girls and tried to compare them to the princesses. "Okay, I don't see how you would resemble Peach since all you have are the eyes and hair color." he said to Tina. He then pointed to TSM and said "Her, I can somewhat understand. Except Daisy has a different eye color than her."

"Yeah, I don't see what sort of resemblance we have with them either." replied TSM.

"But we can be described like Peach and Daisy." said Tina "Right TSM?"

TSM ignored her and looked at Ludwig, knowing why they wanted to sneak back in the castle in the first place. "Anyways, we need help convincing your father to let us stay in here. Because apparently, he won't listen to use since we're supposed doppelgangers of two princesses even if we're not in anyway possible. So we want to know if you'd help us by convincing your dad to let us stay here."

Ludwig stared at two fan girls. He crossed his arms and said "Alright. Please tell me why I should assist you two when I barely even know you. And since father already kicked you out, why would I let you back in?"

TSM stared at the blue haired composer. She looked over at Tina then sighed. "Well since I did make a promise..."

The blue haired composer raised his eyebrow again. "What?"

Instead of replying, TSM moved out of the way. "Go ahead Tina."

An evil smile appeared on Tina's face. Ludwig looked behind him and stared at the blonde with a confused look on his face. Tina went down on all fours and tackled Ludwig.

Bowser was in his study once again working on some papers that Kamek had requested from him last night. Since he was done with trying to plot against the Mushroom Kingdom, he decided now would be the good time to finish some work for Kamek. He knew how impatient the Magikoopa would get if he didn't get his things as soon as possible. He heard a knock on the door. "Come in."

To the Koopa King's surprise, Ludwig walked in but he looked like he had just been roughed up. There were some cracks in his shell and even the spikes, he had a bandage wrapped around his head, he was wearing an eye patch on his left eye, his left arm was bandaged up as well and there were a series of bandages on his right leg as well, his hair was a even messier than it already was and he was missing one of his cuffs. Bowser stared at his son in surprise "Ludwig, what happened to you? You didn't get into a fight with Roy did you?"

Ludwig let out a nervous laugh and responded by saying "Not exactly..."

"Then what happened?" asked Bowser.

The blue haired composer sighed. "You have some girls who'd like to speak with you... and I went through a hell of a time of convincing."

Bowser sighed. "I think I know who you're talking about. Let them in..."

Ludwig walked out somewhat off balanced. He looked outside to see Tina and TSM waiting. "He requests your presence."

Tina and TSM exchanged confused glances then walked inside. Tina looked around the study in awe. "Wow. It just gets better."

"I think it might get worse..." whispered TSM as she pointed to Bowser's direction. Tina looked at Bowser who looked extremely pissed off. Tina gulped nervously. "Hi Bowser."

"What did you do to my son?"

"Nothing." quickly replied Tina.

She looked at TSM who had a stern look on her face. She turned towards Bowser who also wore a stern look on his face. She sighed and said "Fine... TSM said she'd let me interrogate Ludwig but she didn't expect me to hurt him. Let alone hurt him that badly..."

TSM sighed and said "Tina's really sorry even if she won't say she is."

"I was getting to that part!"

"No you weren't. You know you weren't."

Tina folded her arms and glared at TSM who just ignored her. Bowser was still glaring at Tina. "Ludwig, go find Kamek. I'd like to talk to these two girls by myself..."

Ludwig nodded and left the study, closing the door behind him. Bowser glared at both fan girls. TSM had a sheepish smile while Tina just waved like an idiot to him. Bowser sighed, trying hard not to lose his temper and said "Alright... How did you two get inside my castle AGAIN?"

"We climbed the castle walls and went into a window." replied Tina who was oblivious to TSM slapping her forehead.

"WHAT?" exclaimed Bowser "How did you do that?"

"Because you never put traps on the walls." replied TSM. "And it was kinda easy. Mario never tries to climb the walls so we decided to do it."

"Too bad there were no traps." replied Tina "Would've made it harder."

The pigtailed blonde's eyes widened, making it apparent that she had an idea. "No wonder Mario keeps beating you! Kinda like when he beat you AGAIN with the whole Tanooki leaves things! And let's not forget once again ruining your chances to marry the quite ravishing Princess Peach!"

Bowser glared at Tina angrily. "Please don't start with that again..."

"I'm sorry Bowser what was that?" started TSM "I was thinking too much about how easily Mario beat you."

The Koopa King slapped his forehead in annoyance. Tina suddenly appeared at his left side as she said "So I heard you tried to kidnap Peach again after the Tanooki leaves thing..."

Bowser hid his face behind his burly hands. "So did you?" asked the blonde again.

He sighed and replied "Yes..."

"Well you failed at that too!" yelled Tina.

TSM walked over to Bowser's right side and continued by saying "And let's not forget that before the aftermath of the first Peach capture, the second Peach capture featured Mario AND Luigi who beat the filling out of you."

"Yeah yeah yeah he was there too..." mumbled Bowser.

"You got beat by both bros two times in one game?" asked Tina with false shock "Wow Bowser. You really do know how to fail!"

One of Bowser's eyes started to twitch angrily. He already heard enough jokes from his minions when they thought he wasn't there to hear them. He would have attacked them harshly except he needed them since it was getting harder to find troops to defeat Mario.

"Have you ever considered pursuing a different hobby rather than kidnap the princess and try to defeat Mario?" asked Tina. "I mean, from what we saw in Super Mario 3D Land, you sure are running out of what you can do to the point you create a false version of yourself with a raccoon tail!"

"Don't remind me about what I had to go through to do that... Stupid Kamek..." replied Bowser under his breathe.

"Whatever whatever whatever." replied Tina "What about Dry Bowser? Mind telling us what went on in his mind to kidnap Luigi?"

"No." replied Bowser whose voice was sounded very angry. "I can't."

"How sad." replied TSM who grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil from Bowser's desk. She started to write on things as Tina talked. "You know, I've always wondered why you always have those switches. Why do you have those switches? Have you no logic to NOT use something so easy? Because no matter what, that switch is easy to get to."

Bowser finally lost his temper and yelled "THAT'S IT!"

Both TSM and Tina stopped and stared at the Koopa King. They watched him flip his desk over, watched as the papers flew around the room and listened to his lamp shatter on the ground. They stared at the flipped over desk and then back at Bowser. After a moment of silence, Tina asked "So can we stay?"

The Koopa King sighed. "FINE. If you can find the room where Peach usually stays when I kidnap her or one of the guest rooms, then you can stay there for who cares how long!"

"How do we know which is which?" asked TSM.

"Peach's room is full of pink..." hissed Bowser angrily "It's in a hall all by itself. The guest rooms are in the hall with Kamek's room. You'll be able to tell which one is the guest room because there are signs on the doors."

"Thank you." replied TSM.

While the brunette left the study, Tina didn't leave. She just stood there looking at Bowser. Bowser sighed. "Okay, what do you want now?"

For a few seconds, Tina didn't say anything. All she did was stare at Bowser with a strange look on her face as if she were in a trance. In a matter of seconds, Tina left the room without closing the door. Bowser sighed and looked down at his flipped desk. He got up and went to the other side of his desk. He flipped his desk over again and stared at his broken lamp. He stared at the shattered remains and sighed. Just as he bent down to pick it up, Tina came back into his study. Bowser could hear her footsteps and looked behind him. "What now?"

Again, Tina just stared at him in a trance. Soon, an evil look appeared on her face as she said "This isn't over yet!" and ran away.

Bowser had a confused look on his face. He didn't know what just happened but something told him he would regret the next few months...

1. Rub in his recent failure

A/N: Okay... I'm not happy with how this chapter came out.

This chapter was originally something completely different. But I decided to change it after reading one of my reviews that didn't make me feel good. So I changed it. And I'm not happy with how it came out... XP

But I will upload the real first chapter on deviantART at some point.

Also, I'm working on the list but I've only thought of half of it. I'd like some assistance if that's not a problem. Got an idea? Why not share it? Either on reviews or PM.

So hope you enjoyed this little personal failure of mine!