Ok here's a gift fic for Annabeth137 because she was the 300th reviewer for my story Date Night. Happy holidays and Happy New Year. This is kinda a sequel to my story Spitfire date, but can be read alone.
I don't own it…
'Twas the afternoon before Christmas. All of the presents were wrapped, everything was decorated and all other preparations were complete leaving a certain archer and speedster with absolutely nothing to do. Both of them were conveniently stuck in the cave due to the massive snowstorm sweeping the nation leaving the zeta tubes non-functional. The could've easily made their way home but neither of them wanted to go back to California where they were supposed to spend their first Christmas together.
"Wally!" Artemis shouted in search of the speedster.
"WHAT?" he yelled as he rolled off the cave couch, he was trying to take a nap to sleep off all the cookies he had eaten.
"I'm bored!" she proclaimed.
"Well I'm tired, nice to meet ya Bored." He deadpanned.
"Hardy har har. Not funny Wally and you're not tired, you're just full so get up before I make you, we're going to go do something." She told him and started walking down the hall.
"But I don't wanna!" he whined playfully.
"BAYWATCH!" she shouted from down the hall.
Wally grinned. "Coming…" he quickly fell into step with the archer. "So what do you have in mind?"
Artemis got this wicked smirk on her lips, "Well, I was thinking that we have a little fun."
The speedster's expression brightened visibly, "What kind of fun?" he asked hoping that it was the kind of fun he had in mind.
Seeing the look on Wally's face Artemis elbowed him in the gut. "You are such a guy…"
"Hey! I can't help it!" he said indignantly. "So what are we doing?"
"Burning off all those cookies you ate." She said with a smirk.
"I didn't eat that many!"
"Wally you ate it least 10 batches."
"I'm a growing speedster!" he defended.
"So you ate 10 batches of cookies?"
"Yes!"
Artemis rolled her eyes at her speedster's antics. Sometimes Wally was just Wally.
Speaking of which, Wally was growing inpatient, he really wanted to know what Artemis had planned. "C'mon Arty! Please tell me what we're going to do?"
"We're going to go have fun, I'll tell you the rest after you go put on your winter stealth gear. Meet me back here in five!" And with that she was off.
Wally did as he was told; there was no use in arguing with the archer. He just wanted to know what the heck Artemis had planned. He knew how dark and twisted her mind could be. For her fun could mean absolutely anything and that slightly scared him.
When he got back there he found Artemis in her winter gear with a two backpacks and a wicked grin on her face.
"Oh god...What are we doing?" he was beginning to get nervous.
"Remember our first date Wally?"
The memories of that day brought a smile to the speedster's face he remembers it perfectly. "You mean the one when we pranked the whole league and them some? I still can't believe we didn't get caught."
"Bingo. So I was thinking that we do that same kind of thing tonight, let loose and be our crazy teenaged selves. I know you want to." She said.
"Let's do it!" he hollered. With Artemis's evil mind they were going to have some real fun. "So what's in the bags?"
"Some of last year's fruitcake, some of M'gann's burnt fruit and nut logs, a bunch of water balloons filled with eggnog, about a pound of green and red glitter, some cans of silly string, about a gallon of fake blood, some pig guts, a banana cream pie, a few exploding Christmas ornaments and a few other things we might need."
"Damn girl, you've been planning this for a while. What's our alibi? You did get that right?"
"Yes, we're skiing in the alps."
"How'd you make that believable?"
"I called in a favor."
"From who?"
"You don't want to know."
"That's probably for the best? It wasn't your sister right?"
"No she's tied up at the moment with Roy apparently, I wont go into any detail, but I wasn't going to bother asking her."
"Ok…"
"So what are we waiting for? I want to get started!" she smiled evilly. Wally slung his bag on his shoulder and picked his archer up bridal style.
"Where to my love?"
"Central, let's start with the Flash clan. Oh and one more thing" She smacked a Santa hat on his head to match the one on her's and then they were off.
When they arrived to the suburbs of Central the Allen household could be easily spotted due to the Christmas light display. With a quick glance in the window it was easy to tell that both Barry and Iris along with Wally's parents and the Garricks were busy with dinner. It was a perfect time for them to strike.
Like they had done more than three years before Wally pinned two of the eggnog filled balloons above the Allen doorframe and left a wrapped fruitcake at the doorstep. He then proceeded to ring the doorbell and run across the street.
As soon as he was safely across the street where Artemis readied her crossbow (with red arrows to divert the blame). They waited for about five seconds when Barry then opened the door. This time he was clad in an ugly Christmas sweater, reindeer antlers, slacks and a frilly apron. As a finishing touch the blonde man also wore a Rudolph nose. Wally made sure he got this on film. He was going to give his uncle hell for this later.
The scarlet speedster looked excited when he picked up the package addressed to him. Wally stifled a giggle when Barry's look of excitement melted into one of disappointment. Artemis then chose that very moment to burst the eggnog bombs and the holiday drink rained down on the festive speedster.
"SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Barry shouted at no one in particular.
"GODDAMNIT! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SWEATER! AND I HATE FRUITCAKE!"
"That's the point Uncle B." Wally whispered.
Artemis elbowed him, "Shut up. I don't want to get caught dumbass."
Both of them returned their attention to the scene.
"BARRY GET INSIDE AND WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!" They heard Iris screeching.
"But Iris!" Barry protested.
"No buts Barry! GET IN HERE!" The reporter shouted.
Barry obeyed and closed the door muttering dark curses about eggnog and fruitcake. He would make whoever responsible rue the day. As soon as there were no more people looking out the window Wally and Artemis were off heading northbound, they were going to pay earth's newest lanterns a visit.
After carefully planting a few exploding confetti filled ornaments on both John Stewart and Guy Gardner's Christmas trees and they were bound to scare the shit out of them sooner or later. Artemis was going to do the same to Hal but they had a special surprise for him.
Together Artemis and Wally decided that it would be best to leave the hawks alone. They both harbored a healthy fear of them due to the fact that Hank and Shayera held a training session for the senior members of the team. Wally still had nightmares.
They were now on the way to Coast City, snowflakes whizzed past them as Wally ran with Artemis in his arms.
"Isn't it beautiful?" the archer asked looking at the winter landscape.
"Yeah, this all brings back so many wonderful memories." He grinned as they made it to the Coast city limits
When they got to Hal's condo they set a fruitcake on his kitchen table and built a snowman on his porch. At first Wally didn't get why Artemis wanted to build a snowman until she got out the fake blood and pig guts. He swears to this very day that their zombie snowman was the one of the awesomest snowmen on the face of the planet.
Then the couple made their way to Smallville Kansas to continue their prank fest. They weren't going to do anything huge to the Mr. and Mrs. Kent but Conner and Clark were free game. Wally made about ten or so snowmen on the front lawn while the archer decorated them as fast as possible. Both of them were proud of their zombie snow men they knew Clark would find irritating and repulsive. And to top it all off Artemis climbed onto Wally's back and they both grabbed an eggnog bomb. They rang the doorbell and listened carefully.
"Conner. Clark. Would you both be dears and open the door, I bet it's the carolers from the community center. Don't forget to grab the platter of cookies for them!" Martha Kent shouted.
Wally and Artemis grinned; it could not have gone more perfectly for them. Poor Conner, they didn't really have anything against the clone but Clark took their crap every chance they had. For some reason most of the team still had something against the kryptonian.
The very second the kryptonians opened the door both archer and speedster took aim and hit their targets.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" they shouted and were sure to grab one of Mrs. Kent's delicious cookies before Wally sprinted off with Artemis in tow. It wasn't hard to tell Conner and Clark were angry, the kryptonian swears gave that away and the looks on their face were classic. Wally was glad he got a picture of that too. The man of steel attempted to run after them but Martha forbade him and Conner would probably get back at the couple sooner or later.
Before heading off to Star City for their big finale, the archer and speedster made a pit stop in Gotham for coffee and another prank.
First they got coffee so Artemis could explain the feat to her slightly confused boyfriend. Wally just couldn't grasp the concept yet…
"Ok so let me get this straight. We're pranking Nightwing. Are we talking about the same Nightwing? Because you don't just simply prank a bat. It doesn't work that way." He was slightly concerned.
"Yes Wally, we're going to prank Nightwing. And I know that. That's why I've called in multiple favors from Robin and Alfred and even one from the Bat himself to pull this off. So man up, we're pulling this off and I need you to do it." She explained.
A smile grew on the speedster's face. "Oh you cunning little…Why didn't you tell me that in the first place! So what do you want me to do?"
Artemis got this devious look in her stormy grey eyes as she whispered her plan to the red head.
Five minutes later Artemis was piggybacking on Wally as they zoomed out to the Wayne Manor. Just as the archer had planed Dick was outside shoveling snow and the gates were oh so conveniently open for easy entry and exit.
Nearing the acrobat, Artemis grabbed the banana cream pies with one in each hand. She smirked as she mushed them on his head.
"Merry Christmas Bitch!" Artemis shouted, payback felt good.
They weren't around long enough to see Dick's reaction but the archer made Robin promise that he would give her the video he took of the event.
Wally was slightly out of breath when they made it to Star City, but they weren't going to slow down. They set up the same trap they did at Flash's house. Both of their mentor's were so predictable. Artemis grinned as Wally rang the doorbell; she was ready to get back at Ollie for replacing all her arrows with toy arrows on April fools.
A rather drunken Green Arrow answered the door, like Barry he was also wearing a ridiculous sweater and he also has a lampshade on his head. Anticipation washed over the archer as she waited for the perfect moment to strike. Meanwhile Wally was at a separate hidey-hole ready to strike after the blonde's signal.
Ollie was quite disappointed when he found that the gift on his porch was a fruitcake.
"Fucking fruitcake shit…" he mumbled as he turned to go back inside to party with his wife and a few other leaguers.
"Oh so you don't like my fruitcake, let's see how you like eggnog!"
The look on her mentor's face was priceless as the eggnog met his face.
"SON OF A BITCH! SHOW YOURSELF ASSHOLE!" the livid man shouted.
Artemis then gave Wally the signal and he zoomed by pelting Ollie with snowballs.
"MOTHERFUCKER! I'M GONNA FIND YOU AND SHOVE A CANDYCANE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WILL BE TASTING PEPPERMINT FOR WEEKS OR MY NAME ISNT…"
"OLIVER QUEEN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? GET IN HER RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Canary yelled.
"THAT WAS MY FAVORITE GODDAMN SWEATER, I FUCKING LOVED THAT THING, I WILL HUNT YOU ALL DOWN AND FORCE FEED YOU THIS SHITTY FRUITCAKE!"
"OLLIE GET IN HERE NOW! STOP SWEARING!" his wife commanded.
"BUT THEY RUINED MY SWEATER!"
"CRY ME A RIVER! GET INSIDE NOW!" Dinah hollered yanking him inside by his ear muttering about how he had one too many. She believed that he spilled the eggnog on himself.
On their last stop for the night the couple made their way to Roy's apartment complex. Both of them were starting to grow tired so they didn't have much of an elaborate plan as they did for the others so they decided to wing it.
A knock on Roy's door was sufficient enough to get him to come. As he opened the door Wally emptied the cans of silly string on him in record time and Artemis dumped the glitter on the archer.
"Merry Christmas!"
In an instant they were off, this time they were headed home to Palo Alto. Artemis was ready to go to bed and snuggle up with Wally and he was ready to do the same with her, but when they got home there were people waiting for them. Barry, Dick, Hal, John, Guy, Dinah, Clark, Conner and Ollie stood in their small yard. Each had a snowball or two and a vengeful look on their face. Thinking fast Wally and Artemis grabbed some snow and faced their combatants. It was one of the most epic snowball fights in league history. The only reason the fight ever ended was that Artemis and Wally's neighbors threatened to call the cops.
Finally later that night the speedster and the archer slipped into bed. It was well after midnight but it was then that they both realized it.
"Merry Christmas Baywatch."
"Merry Christmas Artemis." He said looking at the small kennel hidden in his closet. He could just imagine the look on her face when she saw her gift in the morning, but for now they just held each other close.
"Wally?"
"Yes Artemis?"
"Same time next week?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world sweetheart."
Well guys HAPPY HOLIDAYS! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, I REALLY LIKE FEEDBACK, I'LL REALLY TAKE ANYTHING, PLEASE REVIEW…
Ps I know it's shameful to self advertise but it would be awesome if you guys would check out my new story VELOCITY it's awesome! (Please?)