I Can't Help It

A/N: This is a little silly thing I wrote, from Jack's POV. I don't own these characters, if I did... well, Stargate would be incredibly different to what it is. :D

I can't help it. It's not a voluntary thing. I don't go out of my way to do it. But I really can't help it. The way she stands there, hands on hips, slight pout on her perfect lips, her gorgeous blue eyes looking beseechingly into mine. And the way the word "Sir" rolls off her tongue. I'm probably a creepy old man, but it's at this moment, as she stands, trying to explain some techno-mumbo-jumbo that I'll never understand; that I'm mentally undressing her. Imagining how she would look, writhing beneath me as I claimed her as my own. She knows I'm not listening anymore, so she stops trying. Little does she know where my mind is. It's currently imagining her creamy skin, all of it, like that time I found her in Hathor's complex thingy. If it wasn't for that bubble wrap... but oh well, imagining is still fun. My trousers are starting to become a little tighter, and I reckon I should really stop this little field trip my mind is taking before it gets worse. Uh oh. It got worse. She's looking at me funny. She knows I'm not even remotely thinking about whatever that doohickey is.

"Sir..." She says to me, leaning close. "Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"

Oh dear, she's using that voice. The one that gets to me, and makes me tell her everything, everytime.

"Uh..." Yes, very good start. "Well..."

She gives me a sexy little grin, and I groan. "Carter!" I whine.

"Colonel?" She replies innocently.

I clench my jaw, determined not to let my dirty little secret out. I don't think she really needs to know. "Why are you so hot?" I hear myself ask, before I can stop it.

She blushes, and mumbles something like "I'm not."

Well, I've started this discussion, might as well continue with it. "No, really. You are, and, well, it's a bit distracting. I mean, how can I concentrate on... whatever it is you're talking about, when it's you who's explaining it?"

She gives me a shy look, as though she doesn't know whether to believe me or not.

"Really, Carter, you are the hottest Air Force Major in the whole USAF. And you're on my team! I don't know how that happened, but I'm glad. I get eyecandy along with brains and brawn on my team!" It sounded less stupid in my head.

She giggled. I love it when she giggles. And I sure am glad she didn't take that as an insult. Maybe she can tell it wasn't an insult. She's good at reading me. I wonder what else she's good at. No, mind away from naked Carter.

"What?" She sounds shocked.

Oh no. I said that last bit out loud. "Oh... well..."

"Naked Carter?" She raises an eyebrow.

Is it too late to claim it's a different Carter? Yes, probably. I give a small grin. "Yeah. I told you you were hot. It's only natural that I think..." I trail off, probably better not to finish that sentence. "Anyway. Uh, I'm sorry."

She stares at me, and eventually laughs. "So, I'm not the only one then, thank God."

Wait, what?

"What?" I ask.

"Did you know you're incredibly good looking?"

I shrug.

"Well, you are, and watching you, it's so hard not imagine... things."

I grin broadly at her.

"And Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not voluntary. I just... can't help it."

Nor can I Carter, nor can I. Maybe one day I'll get that knowledge first hand, and then... well, could be enjoyable.

"What?"

Oops.