Snake walked down the stairs, content as ever. He had thoughts flowing through his head though, mostly about his schedule and Samus's breasts. Man, she had good breasts. But anyways, he dodged everyone else who was on the stairs, and walked under the stairs and into the kitchen.

Peach, Kirby, and Mr. Game and Watch had been there, cooking food for everyone else in the mansion. Tonight's menu? - Seafood. Specifically, calamari. That meant that Meta Knight had requested something. Meta Knight always wanted seafood. Why? Snake had yet to figure out. Maybe he could make that something on his "To - Do List".

He grabbed a rootbeer out of the fridge and walked out of the kitchen, then made his way to the meeting room, where the kids had been playing New Super Mario Bros. Wii on the big screen. Seems they had left, MOST of them. Popo and Toon Link were still there, banging on the controllers like psychopaths. Snake watched them in confusion, then shook his head and sat down on one of the couchs, pulling a dirty magazine out from under it and flipping it open to the 72nd page.

The two boys turned around and looked at Snake, then at each other. They looked back at Snake then silently turned off the Wii and walked out of the room with frantic looks on their faces.

No one disturbed Snake in reading his dirty magazines. That's what he did in his free time, and boy, besides from after 11:00 PM, Snake had very little free time.

"Hmm...she's nice. I'll have to see if she has a FaceBook. Or a Kik. Or an Instagram. Or a MySpace. Or a Tumblr. Or a Twitter..." Snake smiled with a perverted look on his face. He took out his pack of cigarettes and a lighter, then lit the 6th cigarette in the packet and stuck it in his mouth.

"Snake...what are you doing? You should be in a match right now!" Someone's voice sounded. It was the voice of a person who disturbed Snake while he was reading dirty magazines.

Jigglypuff. It was Jigglypuff.

Snake looked up from his magazine, looked at the puffball, then looked back at his magazine, obviously not caring about what Jigglypuff said.

"Snake! I'll tell Master Hand! I'm one of the original twelve! I have authority!"

Snake closed his magazine. "Jigglypuff. Ness has more authority than you. He's 13. How old are you? Around 30 or something?"

"He has nothing to do what I was talking about! Get off your butt and get into that match! Luigi, Pikachu, and Falco are waiting for you!"

Snake stood up and cursed under his breath as he walked out of the meeting room and into the Match Teleporter, transporting him to Distant Planet where Luigi had been "fighting" against Pikachu and Falco.

By "fighting", Luigi had been flailing around aimlessly.

Snake rushed into battle, jumping on top of Falco, sending him to the ground. He took out his C-4, throwing it at Pikachu, having it land on his face. He immediatly set it off, sending Pikachu flying across the stage. Luckily, it was a one stock battle, so Pikachu was done for.

Snake heard the cry of Luigi in the background, he looked up. He saw Luigi, in the process of being Star KOed.

"Idiot..." Snake looked at Falco, who was mowing down on a Maxim Tomato, keeping a close eye on Snake.

"Hm," Snake ran up to Falco, while doing so, he grabbed his rocket launcher and shot it up as far as he could. This would trick Falco.

Falco looked up, then widened his eyes as the rocket came crashing down on him. He feel to the ground, then was immediately grabbed and thrown by Snake, off the stage.

He won!

Snake grumbled, leaving the Match Teleporter in fury. How dare Jigglypuff do that! He was just minding his own business when she came along...

Snake dodged the people in the hall as he made his way to the kitchen again. He opened the door and looked around. Now only Peach was there. Lucas had joined her. They were melting butter for the bread and calamari later.

"Hey Peachy-lady. What's going on with you?" Snake grabbed another rootbeer and walked over next to Peach.

"Making dinner...and I told you not to call me that!" Peach glared up at him.

"Sorry," he turned his attention to Lucas, then asked him the same question.

"Eh. Nothing, really. I- I'm fine," the boy stuttered, his hands starting to quiver.

Snake had always made most of the kids uncomfortable, they claimed he was too quiet and mysterious. The way he loomed over them when he tried to start a conversation. This puzzled Snake, because he tried to look fuzzy and warm when he wanted to talk to someone and only the kids were around. Instead, they'd make an excuse and run away from him.

Snake shook his head slightly, then slapped Lucas on the back and grinned. "What'cha shaking for, boy? I asked a simple question, that's all!"

"Oh. I' m not...I'm not s-shaking! I'm fine! Absolutely f-f-fine!" Lucas slowly inched away, then scooted over to the other side of Peach.

"Oh, come on! Don't be such a puss!" Snake grabbed the boy's arm and ran out of the kitchen and into the living room, where most of the other smashers were.

Snake dragged Lucas past Mewtwo, Yoshi, Ike, Villager, and Mario before seating him into a lounge chair and sat down on the couch opposite of them, a glass coffee table was the only thing giving them distance.

"So, what did you do today?" Snake grinned, while thinking about how creeped out Lucas was right now.

"Nothing!" Lucas went to stand up, but got pushed back down by a passing Ganondorf, who looked back and smirked at him.

Snake stared at the boy, then leaned in. "Hey, tell me something..how come all the other kids are terrified of me?" He wanted the truth. Not just his own assumption.

Lucas stared back at him for a moment, then took a deep breath. "Wellyoureyesintimidateusyouglareatuswhenwetalktoyouandyouaren'tverytalkativesowegetcreepedoutwhenyoutalktous," he let out a large exhale, then sat up straight and smiled, with his right eye slightly twitching.

Snake continued staring at Lucas. "You get very talkative when it's time to chat about someone."

Lucas nodded. "I could tell you about something last night. So last night, Megaman came to spend the night in our dorm because his dorm was being painted, and Ness got upset and had this big argument with Megaman, so they eventually got into a tussle, and they both ended up injuring themselves instead of each other. Megaman bumped into a wall, making a shelf fall above him and the things came down on him, and Ness hit his head on the leg of the bed- which was made of metal, by the way."

Snake put his head in his hands and started muttering to himself. "Jeez, how much more of this does this kid have inside of his mind? He must eavesdrop whenever he hears a conversation or something."

Lucas tapped Snake's shoulder. "Hey. Zelda and Miss. WiiFit are talking about how cute Roy's behind is, and Pichu and Charizard are talking about how much of a showoff Greninja is."

Then it dawned on Snake.

"Lucas."

"Huh?"

"Go get your pen and notebook. You and I are making the Smash Gazette's gossip section."

A/N: So...yup...there's a new story...and it's probably gonna be really...interesting...It uses all the characters from the previous games and later games, including Charizard and Greninja, who were just confirmed yesterday. Next Chap will HOPEFULLY be up soon?