A/N:Only my second so it is probably still pretty dumb…

A/N:Only my second so it is probably still pretty dumb…I REVISED IT! YEA! Now you don't have to click on my other stupid one to get this stupid one (do two stupids make a smart?)
Disclamer: None of this belongs to me. All the HP characters belong to JK and the Mummy ones belong to whoever their owners are.

The Mummy-Hogwarts style


Just so you don't get confused…
Rick-Harry
Evelyn-Hermione
Jonathon –Ron
Benny-Draco
That hot guy Oded Feir plays (his name is like _____ Bay)-Cedric Diggory
(gimme a break I know he is dead but I ran out of characters)
The Mummy-Da Na Na-Voldemort
(That fat stinky guy is Dudley, and the four Americans are Seamus, Dean,
Crabbe, and Goyle)
Ginny-Anucksunamun (or however the heck you spell it)

Winston-A very fat and crazy Dumbledore (I guess)
(Some of the stuff from the movie will be in here and some won't)

++++++

Hermione was sorting books in the Hogwarts library (the head librarian let
her be junior head librarian).
"Hmmm, Red Caps, Reddlesnickles, Roodipatooty, Volume 1, Volume
2, and Volume 3…"Hermione said to herself as she sorted them. "Tuthmosis?!
What in the heck is Tuthmosis? (I really don't know if someone cares to tell
me in a review) "What are you doing here? Let's put you where you belong."
Hermione reached for the next shelf and her ladder swang up, making this
really cool noise (which I rewinded and listened to about a hundred times).
Just as Hermione reached for her wand to freeze the ladder in place, it
slipped knocking over almost all over the shelves (who puts their library in
an oval anyway? In my opinion whoever set it up was just asking for it to get
knocked over). "Crap." Said Hermione. "Oh well, this shouldn't be too
hard," She pulled out her wand and with a flick of her wrists she had totally
restored the library to perfect condition.
"Now what should I do?" thought Hermione. "I'll go to the back
room." As she walked in she heard a noise and got nervous. She did the lumos
spell and light came out of her wand. She walked up to a coffin and POP! Up
appeared a very red-headed and very drunk boy.
"Ron-have you no respect for the dead? Get out of there."
Hermione scolded.
"My dear best friend…I'll have you –'(he paused for a second as
he accidently racked himself on the coffin)-know, that at the moment my
career is on a high note," he says as he pulls out a little box.
"High note-Hah!-Ron if I have to take one more item to the
appraiser to try and sell for you…" her last words were not heard as she
drifted off, suddenly becoming interested in the box.. "Ron, I think you may
have found something…" Suddenly the little box opened, and inside was a map.
"This is a map of Hogwarts…and look- right here in the corner is the Room of
Gold! (Okay not so creative but Chamber of Secrets was taken-damn!)Where did
you get this?" Hermione inquired.
"In the…bathroom…when I was…taking a whiz…there it was!" Ron
said and then put a desperate smile.

Later that day, Hermione and Ron are at the detention dungeon,
where all the bad students are kept.
"Dudley!? Why are you at Hogwarts??" Hermione asked, puzzled.
"Mmm…err…uhh…Step over the threshold into my humble home!"
Dudley said at last.
"Why is this man in jail?" Hermione asked.
"Well this I did not know, but when I heard you were coming, I
asked him that myself. He said he was just looking for a good time!" Dudley
said as they bring out a scruffy young man with wild black hair. "This is the
man you stole the map from?!" Hermione asked to Ron, disgusted. "Uhh…err"
was all Ron could manage to get out.
Harry punches Ron and Hermione steps over him and up to Harry.
"Umm…hello…we have found your puzzle box and have come to ask you about it."
"No, no you came to ask me about the Room of Gold." Harry said.
"You know about the Room of Gold?" Hermione asked, now more
interested than ever. "Do you swear?"
"Every damn day." Harry said, with a tinge of a smile "No
that's not what I meant-" "Yeah, yeah I know the whole school blather, but
I've been there." Harry said, smiling.
"Could…could you tell me how to get there?" Hermione asked
getting even closer to Harry.
"You really want to know?" Hermione nodded. Harry kissed her.
"Then get me the hell out of here!" Harry yelled as they pulled him away.
"Where are they taking this man?!" Hermione asked Dudley.
"To get the dementor's kiss-apparently- he had a VERY good
time." Dudley answered, with a grin.

Later, when the dementor's kiss is about to be performed,
Hermione was arguing with Dudley
"I will give you 100 sickles to save this man's life," Hermione
said.
"Madame, I would pay 100 sickles just to see him die."
"Two…two hundred sickles….Three hundred sickles!" Hermione was
getting worried now.
"And what else…I am a very lonely man…" Dudley said as he
touched Hermione's leg. She slapped him. "Perform the kiss!" Dudley yelled
"NO!" Hermione screamed. "This man knows the way to the Room of
Gold!" she exclaimed.
(Because I am making this story to long I will speed things up a
bit.)

Now they were on a…magic carpet riding to the room…and they met
up with four Americans. Ron was playing cards and let it slip that he was
going to the room. Then Harry finds Draco (the only reason I am bothering to
put this in is because I like the line)
"Draco…fancy seeing you here…so what are you going to do, take
the Americans to the room and leave them there to rot?!" Harry asked as he
started to strangle Draco.
"Unfortunenetly, no. These Americans are smart. They pay me only
half now and half when we get back" said Draco
"Oh…I think I will kill you now," said Harry."Think of my
children," Draco said. "You don't have any." "I might someday…"Draco tried.
Harry threw him off the carpet.

            Hermione went back to her room. (This is one of those motor home types of carpets…very spacious! Almost like a hotel!) She was reading a book.

"John Bembridge…in 18…64…." She missed the hanger on the door and her clothes fell to the ground. "Oh for Merlin's sake! It wasn't' that good of a kiss anyway!" Hermione started to brush her hair but her brush fell. Somehow, Death Eaters got onto the carpet, and when she got up there was a freaky looking guy with a hook behind her.

"The map!" Hermione nodded towards it. "And the key!" he hissed. Hermione was confused. "Key?!…Key…what key?" At that moment Harry popped in. "Hermione!" She grabbed a candlestick and poked the freaky man in the eye. She ran out the door. There were death eaters all over the place. Dean, Crabbe, Goyle, and Seamus, were shooting spells and charms all over the place. Ron was looking at them with disgust. He looked down at the 'key' and smiled.

"Did I panic? I think not!" At that moment a spell blew him off the carpet, and into the lake. (A/N: Did I mention they were over the lake at the moment?)

Dudley ran up to Harry. "What do we do? What should I do?"

"You wait here…I'll go get help!" Dudley stood there a little while and then jumped into the lake.

After everyone had gotten to one side or another, Draco yelled across. "HEY POTTER! LOOKS TO ME LIKE I'VE GOT ALL THE HIPPOGRIFFS!" Harry looked miffed, but only for a second. "HEY DRACO! LOOKS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE LA-KE!" Draco looked around, and kicked the water as he swore.

Once they got to Hogsmeade, Ron bought some Hippogriffs for a very high price.

"You know we could have gotten them for free. All we had to do was give them to your sister (A/N: Go along with this for the purposes of the story!)."

"Awfully tempting isn't it?" Ron asked. Out of the robes store walked a very gorgeous looking Hermione.

"Awfully."

They had to travel through the Forbidden Forest to get back to the Castle. During the time, Cedric and his band of Magis watched from a tree.

"Hida sara lictum dowm." Translation: "This one is strong." (A/N: This is getting sad…I even know the words in Egyptian! Ahh! Freak!)

The next morning, both groups met at the gate to the main entrance to Hogwarts.

"What are we doing here?" Hermione asked.

"We are about to be shown the way." (Which in all respects was waiting for Filch to unlock the main doors at sunrise.) They heard a click.

"Can you believe it?" Dean said.

"Hogwarts," said Goyle.

They raced inside the door. Later that day, they were still searching for the entrance to Room of Gold in the entrance hall.

"Do they know something we don't?" asked Crabbe.

"They're led by a woman. What does a woman know?" said Percy indignantly.

On the other side of the hall, the four other people had already found an entrance and were exploring.

Dudley headed off into another corridor. He came to a wall lined with scorpion looking things. They were shiny and blue, so Dudley was satisfied.

"Blue gold. This will catch a very fine price." He started to put them in the bag, but one fell and hatched. Blast ended skrewts! One turned on him, and blew him to bits!  (A/N: I know that was kind of crappy…one of my favorite parts was when he smacked into that wall!)

The three shortly discovered what was left of him, which was mostly on the walls and ceiling of the corridor.

They found the statue of Salazar Slytherin, where the Book of Gold was supposed to be buried. But the other group was already there.

"This is our dig site friend," said Crabbe.

"I don't see your name written on it pal," Harry returned.

Draco stepped forward. "There are fifteen of me and three of you. Your odds are not so good Potter."

"I've had worse."

"Yeah me too." At this, Harry looked at Ron with a yeah-right kind of a look.

Hermione saw a hole in the ground and said; "Now children, if we are going to play together, we must learn to share. There are other places to dig." She looked meaningfully at Harry, and they left, heading off to below.

That night, Harry got Hermione skunk drunk and was helping her to practice her fighting moves.

"Now, bob your fists…that's it. Now punch my hand and mean it!"

"Mean it!" Hermione missed totally, and collapsed with laughter.

"Time for another drink," Harry said hopefully.

"Unlike my brother, sir, I know when to say 'no'" she said as she took another swig. "And unlike your brother, miss, you I just don't get."

Hermione looked up. "I know…your wondering 'what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?"

"Yeah something like that." And the conversation continued.

"What are you anyway?" Harry asked.

"Oooh." Hermione looked miffed. "I may not be an evil fighter, or a wand slinger, or a treasure seeker, Mr. Potter. But I am proud of what I am."

"And what is that?" Harry asked, with a smile coming to his lips.

"I…am a librarian. And I…am going to kiss you Mr. Potter."

"Call me Harry."

"Mm. Harry."

She leaned forward and passed out in his lap, leaving Harry kissing air.

The next day, they had given up on digging, and Ron had a stick and some rocks, and was practicing his beater moves.

"Likewise." And with that he swung and down fell a huge coffin.

They stood it up and popped it open. They all screamed as it shot out.

"Is it supposed to look like that?" Harry asked, looking disgusted.

"I've never seen one like this before…" Hermione trailed off.

"It's still…Juicy!" Harry and Ron said together. They left the juicyness and went back up to where they were camping.

Later that night, the Magi stormed into the underground passages, going on rampage. Harry had to threaten to blow up the place with his wand when finally Cedric said, "Stop. We will shed no more blood. But leave this place. Leave this place or die." And they left.

Still later in the night, Hermione stole a book from Percy that he had found that day. She opened, telling Harry that 'no harm ever came from reading a book.' Big mistake. Down below in his open coffin, Voldemort awoke with a howl.

They all scrambled to get out of the tunnels, but Draco got left behind. As he could speak evil just like Voldemort, Draco became his servant. Goyle got left behind too, because he dropped his glasses. Voldemort ate his tongue and his eyes, but was interrupted by Hermione, who had fallen through a trap door.

"Ginny?" Hermione screamed, and Harry rushed in, pulled out his wand, and blew a hole in Voldemort. On their way out they ran into Cedric.

"I told you to leave-leave or die. Now you may have killed us all."

"I got him," said Harry.

"You don't understand-no mortal weapons can kill this creature…he is the undead." (A/N: Which really makes no sense right? I mean wizards aren't technically all mortal…why not just use Avada Kedarva…you end up in Azkaban, but hey…you saved the earth, right? So for the purposes of the story, just go along with me here.)

Cedric and his gang headed off to try to find a way to kill him. Meanwhile, everyone else headed back to the common room. Harry went to have a drink and saw  Dumbledore. He was talking about boredom and booze. But the drinks were blood so Harry knew Voldemort was there. Also his scar hurt a lot. On his search he ran into Hermione, and they saw Draco run by. They went up to the dormitories, only to find that Goyle had been sucked dry. So Harry locked Hermione in the dorm, leaving Dean and Seamus behind to guard her. (A/N: Oopsies…I just realized I put one too many people in there…so…on their way back to the common room, Crabbe, just poof! Died.)

Harry and Ron headed off. They found Draco going through the prefects things.  Harry took out his wand and zoomed a chair that pounded Draco in the back.
            "So you came back with the new friend."

"It is better to be at the right hand of Voldemort than in his path." The conversation went on and then there was a scream. Draco skidded out of the room, followed by Harry and Ron. Percy was on the floor, all leathery. He had been sucked dry too.

Hermione decided to go to Snape, as he might know something. There with him was Cedric. They all pulled out their wands.

"What's he doing here!?"

Snape sneered. "Would you really like to know or would you rather kill us?"

"I'm willing to go on a little faith here," said Harry, putting away his wand. The conversation went on.

"Why did he call me Ginny?" Hermione asked.

Snape and Cedric looked at each other. "Apparently the dark lord has already chosen a human sacrifice."

"Bad luck old mum," said Ron. Hermione glared at him. They could hear noises. Voldemort had gotten his Death Eaters under his control. They were surrounding them. Hermione found an old scroll and started translating.

"Hurry up Herm!" Ron exclaimed.

"Patience is a virtue," Hermione said, running her finger across the scroll.

"Not right now it isn't!" exclaimed Harry. Finally Hermione figured out that the books were mixed up, that the one they wanted was under the statue of Godric Gryffindor. (A/N: Okay…this is starting to get a bit on the long side, so don't get mad if I hasten things up a bit.)

They got onto a magic carpet, plummeling into Death Eaters, one pulled Seamus off, and Voldemort inhaled him. (Also…Dean was sucked dry a while ago.)

They crashed the car, and were surrounded. Voldemort walked up to them. He told Hermione that if she came with him, he would spare the rest of the group. Turning back at Harry she said, "If I die and become a ghost you're the first one I'm coming after."

As they were leaving, Harry started towards her, but Cedric held him back.

"Live today, fight tomorrow." The death eaters closed in, and Harry found a secret passage, but Snape died because he was too slow.

They went to Dumbledore. They explained the situation and Dumbledore agreed to help. He went to a drawer and got out four pairs of pink and yellow polka dotted socks. All three men stared at them with confused looks.

"Magic socks, old chaps. You put them on and you glide across the floor. This will help us travel to the Room of Gold loads faster."

All shaking their heads, they put on the socks. Dumbledore was in the lead. They were awkward at first, but after awhile they all got the hang of it.

Just as Hermione, Voldemort, and Draco were entering the secret entrance, Hermione caught site of Harry. "Potter," she murmured to herself. Apparently Voldemort, saw too, and he conjured up some sticks and placed them strategically in front of the stairs, so when they turned to go on them, they would slip and fall down the stairway, hopefully causing death (or an immense amount of pain).

Voldemort pulled Hermione into the chamber, followed by Draco.

Dumbledore turned the corner, and slipped, causing him to start falling down the stairs. Harry, Ron, Cedric slipped too, but their falls were cushioned by Dumbledore, who was in a heap on the step. They all got up, taking off the socks. Harry shook Dumbledore. He felt his pulse. There was none. Suddenly, Dumbledore started to sink into the step.

"Trick step!" Cedric yelled, pulling Harry back.

Down in the chamber, Hermione was tied to a stone slab table, with a rat on her tummy and a dead girl next to her. Wisps of red hair were peeking out of the wrappings. Hermione screamed. Voldemort was holding up a knife and was about to stab her when…"Hermy! I've got it!" Ron yelled from the top of the steps.

"You have to get the key! It's in his robes! Read the inscription on the front!"

Voldemort headed for Ron as Harry snuck up and undid one of Hermione's handcuffs. As he was about to do a second one, a ghost grabbed him by the leg and pulled him down. Harry fought the ghosts until he beat them.

"Ghosts." He cut her loose. But Ginny was after Hermione. Ginny chased her all over the place.

In the mean time, Ron hadn't finished the inscription, but had gotten to where an army of ghosts appeared. Voldemort sent them after Harry.

"Herm! I'm stuck on this last one!" Ron yelled.

"What does it look like?" Hermione yelled, gasping for air.

"It's a…bird…a stork!" Ron yelled, flapping his arms.

"Melaphus!" she managed to yell even though she was being strangled.

"Oh yes, I see." Ron repeated the incantation just in time, as Harry was about to be killed by the ghosts. Ron sent the ghosts to Ginny, who they killed. Even though she was already dead.

Voldemort, seeing his girlfriend was dead, went for Ron. He was about to sqeegee him when Harry chopped Voldemort's arm off.

Ron got the key and gave the book to Hermione, who recited the spell. A magical chariot thing came and took away Voldemort's invicincableness.

Harry stabbed him, and he died, saying "Death is only the beginning."

At that moment, Draco laid down a bag of treasure on a lever, causing the whole room to start to sink in on itself.

As they were running out, Harry, Ron, and Hermione went through the room of gold, and Ron wanted something. They dragged him out just in time.

Draco didn't make it and was blown to pieces by blast ended skrewts.

Harry and Hermione fell in love and kissed at the end, making Ron ask a hippogriff ask for a kiss, making him forget to bow, making the hippogriff pissed. The hippogriff tried to tear Ron apart, but Harry saved him. They rode off into the sunset.

The end.

Done! I know I forgot some things, but review anyways! J