Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles.
A/N: This is for the RizzlesGirls Christmas Fanfiction Challenge
Jane Rizzoli was out of sorts.
For as long as she could remember, she had spent Christmas day with her parents, her brothers, and her mother's extended family—cousins and aunts and uncles packed into a house that was too small but filled with plenty of food and eggnog. Jane loved her family's Christmas traditions, from the white elephant gift exchange to cookie decorating to the Christmas carol sing-along.
But not this year. Despite the fact that she was surrounded by people who loved her, she felt lonely and empty. And she knew exactly why.
She missed Maura.
She hadn't seen Maura in three days, and nothing seemed right. She missed watching Maura's reactions to her crazy family. She missed their inside jokes, and the way they caught each other's eyes when someone said something funny. She missed being close enough that their knees might touch, or her fingers might brush against the bare skin of an arm or a hand.
Jane had known for awhile that she was in love with her best friend, but she had never felt it so keenly as she did that Christmas night. Christmas is for spending time with people you love, and she loved Maura. Loved her so much that being away from her was torture.
Jane left the party early, but she didn't go directly home. She found herself taking the familiar route to Maura's house, even though she knew her friend was skiing in Vermont with her parents—their annual Christmas tradition. She knew that seeing Maura's empty house would only make her feel worse, but she kept driving anyway.
Jane pulled up in front of the house and cut the engine. She was surprised to see a light in Maura's living room window, and even more surprised to see it turn off not a minute after her arrival. Then, just seconds later, the bedroom light flickered on.
Maura was definitely home. But why? Why hadn't she told Jane she was coming home early? Or had she even gone to Vermont at all? Maura couldn't lie, but she could, if pressed, stretch the truth. When Jane had asked her about her plans for Christmas, she had said that her parents always took a ski vacation.
But, Jane suddenly realized, Maura hadn't actually said she would be joining them.
Sitting in the increasingly cold car, Jane berated herself for not being more sensitive to her friend. Maura was always more comfortable performing an autopsy than interacting with live people. Had the thought of attending another Rizzoli family event—this time with Bernardi cousins and crazy auntie Louise thrown into the mix—been just too much for Maura to handle? Or had she just not wanted to admit that she had no plans for yet another holiday?
The light in the bedroom was still on, so with her usual impulsiveness Jane hit the speed dial on her phone.
"Hey, Maura."
"Hello, Jane, I didn't expect to hear from you—is something wrong?" Maura sounded genuinely concerned, and Jane felt her heart skip a beat just from the sound of Maura's silky voice.
"No, I just—" Jane paused while she tried to think of what to say. "Actually, there is something wrong. I miss you," she said, simply.
"Aww, Jane, I miss you too."
"Do you?" Jane spoke softly.
"Of course I do," Maura responded softly, confusion evident in her voice.
"What do you miss about me?"
Maura didn't say anything for a brief moment, but then asked, "I don't know what you mean, Jane, will you please just tell me what's going on?"
"Nothing—I just miss you. A lot. I miss listening to you talk. I miss your smile." Jane was whispering now, and her voice was deep and serious. "I miss how soft your skin is, and how your fingers curl around mine when we're watching a movie on my couch."
Jane paused for a moment, her heart pounding as she hoped that Maura understood what she was trying to say.
When Maura picked up the thread of the conversation, her voice was quiet and full of emotion.
"I miss your eyes, Jane. Your big, beautiful eyes. I miss the way your hair feels, brushing against my shoulder when we sit next to each other. I miss the sound of your voice, whispering in my ear and sending chills up and down my spine. I miss the smell of your skin and your long arms wrapped around me."
"Maura, if we could do it all over again, would you like to spend Christmas together, just the two of us?"
"Yes, Jane. If we could do it all over again."
"Then open your front door."
Jane hung up the phone and knocked on Maura's door. When it opened, she didn't wait for an invitation, just stepped inside and took Maura into her arms, breathing in the scent of her hair.
"Jane," whispered Maura after a few moments, "how did you know I was here?"
"I didn't. I just found myself driving over here and I saw your light on. Why didn't you tell me you were here all alone?
"I don't know, I was afraid, I guess." Maura spoke without moving her mouth from Jane's neck, so her voice was muffled.
"Afraid of what? Of me?" Jane's voice cracked with emotion.
"Afraid you didn't feel the same way I did. The way I do."
"And what way is that?"
Maura leaned away from Jane's embrace and looked into dark brown eyes. She reached up and caressed a pink cheek, still chilled from the winter air.
"I love you, Jane."
A smile spread across Jane's face. "I love you too, Maura. And I want to spend the rest of this Christmas with you. Just you."
Jane leaned in and gently pressed her lips to Maura's. All coherent thought was lost as Maura reciprocated the kiss passionately, molding her body into Jane's. Jane parted her lips and then stood stock-still as she felt Maura's tongue snake past them, flick her teeth, and then gently stroke her own tongue so softly she couldn't breathe.
"Maura."
"Hmm?"
"I want to show you my favorite part of Christmas. Will you spend the night at my place tonight?"
Maura stopped kissing Jane's neck, raised an eyebrow, and then asked in her usual blunt way, "Bringing a girl home to your bed is your favorite part of Christmas?"
Jane blushed, but Maura looked so adorable that Jane had to kiss her again. And again. Then, breathing heavily, she rested her forehead against Maura's.
"No, that's not my favorite part of Christmas—well, maybe it will be this year." She smiled as Maura's warm mouth once again sought her own.
"Something else, though—please, will you come?"
"Of course!"
Thirty minutes later, Maura was standing in her pajamas in front of Jane's brightly lit Christmas tree, her eyes sparkling from the reflection of the twinkling lights. Jane joined her after changing into her own pajamas and turning up the heater. She stood behind Maura and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing a soft neck and nibbling on an earlobe.
After a few moments of silence Maura turned in Jane's arms and kissed her again—kissed her until she felt weak in the knees. Jane then led Maura to the couch, and the smaller woman curled up in her lap, resting her head on Jane's chest and watching the lights. For several long minutes the two women just held each other close and listened to each other's breathing.
Maura broke the silence with a whisper. "This is your favorite part of Christmas, Jane?"
"Yup. After all of the excitement is done, I like to sit and look at the lights on the tree and make that Christmas-y feeling last just a little bit longer. I think about all of my Christmas memories from when I was a kid—me and my brothers waiting for Santa to come, ma yelling at us to stay in our rooms, pop swearing and complaining while he put together bikes and skateboards." Maura watched Jane smile in the soft glow of the Christmas lights.
"I don't have many Christmas memories—my parents gave me gifts, of course, but we didn't have any real traditions. But I think now I understand what people mean by a 'Christmas-y feeling.'" Maura furrowed her brow while Jane stroked her cheek and hugged her just a little bit tighter.
"You do?" asked Jane, softly.
"I think so."
"Can you describe it to me?"
Maura was silent for a brief moment before she responded, "No, I don't think I can. I—I don't think words can describe it. It's light and warmth and love and—other things, all mixed together."
Jane laughed softly. "That sounds exactly right. And don't worry, we'll create some Christmas memories that will last until next year, okay?"
Maura nuzzled Jane's neck and began trailing kisses down to her collarbone. "That sounds wonderful. Merry Christmas, Jane."
"Merry Christmas, Maura."