Ain't Never Caught a Rabbit

-By Chronic Guardian-

The Arctic Hare ducked behind the snow bank as another spray of bullets went awry. Peeking out its white visage, it chittered mockingly before disappearing into the frozen landscape.

"Fluffy scrawnjob prolly ain't worth it anyway," Barret muttered darkly, loading another clip into his mechanical arm and trudging back to the trail where his companion waited. "'Course, you an' yo wack-flamin' tail couldn't sneak up on it from behind even if the dang thing's ears were blown off."

"I told you, the weather's been messing with my methods," the red dog-like creature sniffed indignantly. "I was raised in an arid climate. Desert Wolves weren't meant for the snow."

Barret grunted. "Desert Wolf my boot, man. You tryin' too hard to make yoself sound high class."

The irreverent remark sent a bristling through the creature's crimson fur. "I am the last descendant of a noble strain. You don't understand the complexities of—"

"You ever caught a rabbit down there?"

The canine lowered it's head and sighed. "... No."

"Thought so. An' there Cloud was, all high an' mighty sayin': 'It's cool man, Red's prolly a natural or somethin''. Figures I get stuck with the one foo' who don't know how to hunt."

"It's not my fault! I'm just not adapted to this climate..."

"There you go cryin' again," Barret waved his flesh hand in the air, wiggling his fingers for emphasis. "You do that too much, man. There's already enough gloom goin' round with Spikey and Vince on the team."

"Look, I'm a proud warrior—"

"—who ain't never caught a rabbit."

"I am a Desert Wolf!" Red stated defiantly.

Barret shook his head. "Man, you ain't nothin' but a hound dog."

A/N:

So I was singing to myself while brushing my hair today and... wait, too much information, scratch that. *ahem* I mean... I was thinking of this Elvis song, and song fics, and how I can't criticize them if I don't do one myself, and then this sort of happened. Sure, it's short, but I think you get the point. Plus , I thought to myself "Final Fantasy VII and Elvis... everybody knows about those things, right?". *correctional chibi knocks me over the head with newspaper* Okay... so maybe I'm thinking two different demographics, but combined they make pretty much everyone, right? *Another smack* Okay... fine. I'll just get back to writing my holiday special then. Extra points if you caught on before the last line! Hope you enjoyed it!

Silly Regards,

-CG