"I screwed up," Jack admits through the phone. Donna squeezes her eyes shut.
"How badly?" She inquires in a resigned sort of tone, used to this kind of thing. The Bartlet administration had seen its fair share of mistakes made, both public and private, so she was well-versed in the arts of spin and damage control.
"Somebody from the Post contacted me. He wanted a quote for this piece they wanna publish, I don't even know what it's about. And I was real tired, sick of the long nights, and I'd just found out about this reassignment thing. I was angry, y'know? So I shot my mouth off, said some things I shouldn't have. The thing is, anyone who reads that story who knows me is gonna know who said it in a heartbeat. Then, my career is definitely done for."
She contemplates all this for a moment, mind whirring to figure out how to best help him. Anger at his stupidity tries to gain a foothold, but as always, it's overrun by sympathy. This has been hard on him.
A solution comes to mind. The prideful part of her that wants to protect self doesn't like it, but she ignores that. She's always done the necessary for those she cares about, and this time is no different.
"I'll take blame," she resolves. "I'll say it was me who said it, and with a voluntary confession, no one'll have reason to look deeper. It should all be okay."
He sighs with gratitude.
"Donna. Thank you so much. I definitely owe you one."
"Oh, anytime," she brushes off his thanks.
"Hey listen, sorry to cut our conversation short, but I got some stuff I gotta work on. Talk to you later?"
"Sure thing. Night."
She responds in kind, and hangs up, desperately trying to avoid the sense of dread rooted in her stomach.
Xxxxx
C.J. is pissed at her, as expected, but doesn't probe deeper, which is a relief. Josh is more leaning towards anger, which makes the sick feeling worsen because she hates disappointing him most. However, he needs her too much to let her go, and can never really stay angry at her for long.
Most people tend to forget that Josh is way too fucking smart for his own good, for all he tries to hide it. She never forgets it, which is why she's unsurprised when he figures it out in little to no time.
His affront at her subtle implication that she's worth less than Jack, even if the implication wasn't intentional, warms her heart. She's so in love with this man, and has been for a long time. The love isn't unrequited; he's in love with her too.
However, there are things in their line of work you can't come back from, and her falling for the fourth most powerful man in the country would cast a terrible light on her. Any accomplishment she ever achieved from then onwards would be seen as a result of her relationship, not as a result of her own work. And he loves her, so that is the last thing he'd ever want.
And she hates him sometimes, because he's always so willing to throw himself into the line of fire to save someone else. He loves those around them with his whole heart, and will do whatever it takes to protect them, no matter what. So, even if not having her causes him immense pain, he'll still deny himself.
Because that's who Josh Lyman is.