I don't own FF7 or its characters and make no profit writing these stories.
Roll 'em...
Tifa had been curious when Rufus had summoned her to his home. "Go on a date with Sephiroth?" she repeated his request, positive she must have heard it incorrectly.
"Yes" he replied.
"I would sooner go on a date with a zolom" she snapped. "The answer is no. Why would you think I would even consider it after what he did to me?" she cried in irritation, touching her scar for emphasis. "Wait was this his idea?" feeling nauseous at the idea that he might harbour some sort of sexual attraction for her.
"No, it was mine. Now that he has been reestablished as General Sephiroth; I'm doing what I can to show people that he has reformed and is no longer a threat. You're a well respected member of the community who has been known to have, issues with him in the past..." Rufus explained.
"If by issues, you mean he slaughtered my entire town, including my father and tried to kill me too...because he had his own Mommy issues" she snapped.
"That wasn't him; that was Jenova" Rufus objected.
"Oh yes, the alien DNA that your company added to his DNA. Did they even do animal testing to make sure it was safe?" she countered.
"That was his father and little to do with my company. I doubt anyone knew who he actually was" Rufus pointed out.
"Either way, find another girl to date your murder. I'll be washing my hair that evening" she stubbornly said.
"Please Tifa, it doesn't need to be a long date. You could just go to dinner with him, let them take some photos and be home by ten" Rufus pleaded. She frowned, still not looking convinced. "It's not like we're expecting you to kiss him or sleep with him or anything of the kind."
"Definitely not either of those" she snapped.
"There must be something you want" Rufus said.
"Well I do need a new stove for the bar kitchen" she hesitantly said.
"Done" Rufus announced.
"Top of the line" she insisted.
"If you hold his hand for five minutes straight at some point, noticeably flirt with him and give him a peck on the cheek by way of good night" Rufus demanded.
"I can agree to that. Saturday at 7?" she suggested.
"I'll have Sephiroth's schedule cleared" he said almost sarcastically as if to imply that Sephiroth rarely was booked up on a Saturday night. "Wear something nice."
"You arranged a what for me?" Sephiroth asked Rufus in a voice that caused shivers to run down his spine.
"A date with Tifa Lockhart. You have to appear eligible and willing to date if you're going to insist on being single" Rufus said. "You have been on dates before, correct?"
He was surprised when the unflappable General looked almost pained at this "yes in the past, the better looking members of SOLDIER were expected to act as escort to daughters of superior officers or highly placed government officials. I didn't not relish such occasions as every female, plain or otherwise would grope me and attempt to seduce me. Each time was more boring and dully predictable as the last and I was extremely glad when the practice ended. Therefore, I am not interested in going on any dates and refuse to. I have done everything required of me to go along with your little dog and pony show. I have given speeches, I have a appeared at mall openings. I have attended every boring conference, balls and seminar. I had proven many times over that I am reformed...and now you are arranging my social life for me. I draw the line at that" he said.
"General, you really don't have a social life. You are watched twenty four-seven. You don't seem to date or even have any friends. Surely you can spare one Saturday night out of your so-busy life to have dinner with a nice girl? Think of how it will look to all those women out that are in love with you; they don't know in real life, that you're a cold hearted bastard," Sephiroth frowned at his synopsis of him. "You have to appear available to them" Rufus explained.
Sephiroth seemed to ponder this. "This is absolutely necessary?" he asked after a pregnant pause.
"All you need to do is be seen in public, act a little flirty, like you're enjoying her company; the reporters get some nice shots of your smiling faces and you're done. You do know how to smile, right?" Rufus questioned him.
Sephiroth bared his teeth at him in a sickening grin and Rufus felt he might be going for his throat "how's this?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Perhaps let her do all the smiling" he said with a shiver of fear."Do you know how to flirt?" he asked him.
"No" Sephiroth replied emphatically.
"This going to be a fun date" Rufus said. "Just try to copy her body language, you're picking her up at 7pm. I shall have a car sent for you and your driver shall have flowers ready to give her. Be ready" he said.
"Tell her that I don't enjoy being touched; she is not allowed to grope me" Sephiroth demanded.
"I don't think that will be a problem on her part" Rufus assure him.
Tifa slipped into the gold satin dress that she had borrowed from Yuffi, it was strapless with a corset back, she found it ironic that she was wearing gold for a date with the silver haired general; they were going to be such a study in contrasts!
Sephiroth looked as delighted to see her as she did him as in, not at all. He silently handed her a bouquet of roses and politely waited long enough for her to put them in water, equally as silent, showing that small talk wasn't his thing. His arm was offered to escort her to the car and an excruciating drive to the restaurant ensued where he spent his time staring out the window and her struggling not to laugh at what he was wearing.
"Why are you dressed that way?" she finally broke down and asked. He wore a black uniform with a gold stripe on either side of his pants and his usual harness was worn over a white shirt with black tie over top. But it was the jacket that blew her away, the epaulets that depicted his rank were hugely exaggerated with gold tassels and there we so many medals attached to his chest that he looked like something from a comedy movie. Add to that tons and tons of gold stars and gold braiding and a very tall service cap, that looked practically like a top hat with more stars and more gold braiding, and you had what he was wearing.
"Apparently my SOLDIER uniform reminds people of when I lost my mind" he said so candidly that she felt a tad flustered.
"You really don't beat around the bush" she commented. "Quite frankly, in that getup, I am forced to question your sanity more than ever."
"I think we have known each other long enough for you to deduce that I never do. This uniform and being reinstated are all part of an agreement I made with Shinra in order to avoid being court-martialed and most likely receiving the death penalty. Our date stems for that agreement. Not that I'm afraid of death, stronger people have tried to return me to the lifestream but it keeps on giving me back. However, it might be harder to do that without my head and I don't wish to try that" he explained without a trace of mirth in his voice.
"So you're saying that you're being forced...?" she asked him.
"My will, until I prove that I'm a good little general and can win back public trust, has been put on hold. I have to submit to the whims of the same corrupt organization that did this to me in the first place, but apparenty under more benevolent leadership. I find that ironic. Why am I telling you all this? Because Miss Lockhart, you were there for the before and the after, so I don't feel the need to sugarcoat anything" he explained.
"You don't sound happy" she commented.
"Does that really matter to you? Come, let us get this sham of a date over with. We are about to exit the car and reporters shall be taking pictures. What is best way for us to look happy and excited to be in each other's company?" he asked her, looking anything but.
"Just give me your arm" she said and put her hand in crook of his arm and smiled up at him in way that she hoped looked like he was the object of her affections, whereas he just looked straight ahead as the flashes kept on going off.
"How much longer do I have to hold your hand?" he whispered to her.
"Another minute" she said, struggling not to sound bored, but the General was just that; boring. He didn't like small talk, that much was abundantly clear. His knowledge of music seemed to revolve around military marches. He knew nothing about modern cinema and was well read, but didn't bother reading anything that was fictional and knew zero about flirting. When she leaned towards him as if to capture his every word, he automatically leaned back. Flirtious giggles were met with polite winces from him. Playing with her hair just led to questions about what was wrong with it as in perhaps, did she has lice? Any attempts to even so much as touch his wrists, resulted in them being pulled out of range. She was never so happy for an expensive dinner to end in her life.
"Rufus gave me tickets for the new musical that's opening tonight" he said.
"Do you like musicals?" she asked him.
"I loathe them" was his answer.
"Then what do you like to do?" she asked him.
"I really can't think of anything" he said.
"Come on, there has to be something you enjoy" she said persuasively and he seemed to almost smile at this.
And that is how they wound up in a hotel bar while he hustled a table of miners at pool.
"Angeal taught me how to do this" he explained.
"Sephiroth, that's the third game you won against them. Shouldn't you stop?" Tifa asked nervously, Sephiroth was a big guy, but the miners were frigging huge and dangerous looking.
"I'm going to give them back their money after this game, it is just the thrill of the game" he replied as his shot sank five balls in a row.
"Come sit with us while your boyfriend plays, we're celebrating the second wedding anniversary of Bob and Stan" and Tifa looked and realized what the very large blonde and redhead were holding hands and was introduced to everyone else.
"Oh you're married?" she asked them, ignoring the boyfriend reference.
"It was love at first sight. I keep telling Chris and Robert and Devin and Steve to get married, but they're resistant so far" Bob explained. "Speaking love, isn't that the divine General Sephiroth you're with? How did you score with him?"
"I wouldn't say scored, he's my date for the evening. It's complicated" she replied and looked over to where Sephiroth was handing the man identified as Robert, his money back and they were shaking hands.
"The General just gave me my money back. I say, Tifa and he should should join us for some shots" he said.
"I can't really drink..."Sephiroth explained.
"You won't have a drink with an old brother in arms from SOLDIER?" Dave asked him.
"You were in SOLDIER?" Sephiroth said, Tifa noted that he looked much better now that the stupid hat and jacket had been removed and his shirt sleeves were rolled up. He actually appeared to be enjoying himself.
"I only made it to second but yes, I served under you, Sir" he said and saluted.
"In that case, it is my privilege to drink with you" he said and many tequila shots were produced and consumed while Sephiroth became extremely animated and seemed to get drunker by the second. Tifa herself was starting to slur, but Sephiroth completely out of it as he and Dave discussed the old days.
"There were two other people you always seemed to be with, Genesis and that Angeal. What happened to them?" Dave asked Sephiroth.
"Angeal was killed and Genesis was..." he said with a sob that caused Tifa's drunken eyes to fly open in shock. "I miss them" he sobbed and Tifa and the rest of the people at the table learned the hard way that the supposedly emotionless General Sephiroth was an emotional drunk.
Tifa thought nothing of it as she drew him into her arms and she even cried herself as he spilled the tale of his horrific childhood and all the wrongs that had gone on since then. He seemed to sob at literally everything, making it obvious how much pain he had been suppressing. By that point, he had gone through several boxes of Kleenexes, had received hugs from everyone at the table and they took turns stoking his hair and many random hugs from people who overheard him and come over in sympathy. "I don't want to be alone anymore" he said from where his head rested on her shoulder.
"You won't be, you'll never be alone again. You'll be mine forever, Sephiroth" Tifa promised him, her motherly heart crying for the damaged boy he had been...and the tequila clouding all her reason that the person she was speaking to was now a fully grown, attractive man. She lifted his face with her soft hands and they shared a kiss.
The married couple looked at each other and grinned, thinking it an outpouring of love...and a proposal. It's amazing what tequila could do to people! "Is there a priest here by any chance?" he called to the room at large.
"I'm a priest" a middle aged man said from where he sat at the table with his wife.
"Looks like we have a job for you to do..." they said as they helped the two to stand and the priest picked up his book and stepped forward. However neither Sephiroth or Tifa remembered this the next morning...
Sephiroth woke up and wondered where he was...and why the room was spinning. His mouth felt like something had crawled in it and died and he felt like he was going to...he ran in the direction of the open door and just managed to make it, before regurgitating what little seemed to be left in his stomach.
He rinsed out his mouth and wondered what had happened the night before. His eyes closed against the harsh light of day and tried to remember. He remembered his forced date and then playing pool and then drinking and then...nothing. Wondering why his hair seemed to be in a solid clump, he pulled it over his shoulder and frowned to find it braided, something he had never done before. Another mystery to solve. He did have vague recollections of throwing up earlier as someone fed him water and held his shoulders and someone helping him back to bed. His head throbbing, he returned to the bed and sat down on the edge, struggling to remember the rest, when the bed grabbed him and he flinched at this.
"Come back to bed" Tifa said, trying to tug him back in.
"Miss Lockhart what are you doing in bed with me?" he demanded, relieved to see he wore his boxer shorts but then his eyes flew accusingly towards her, wondering who had undressed him.
"We got drunk with gay miners, the driver had to leave so we stayed at the hotel" she said.
"That doesn't explain why we are in the same bed together" he said.
"There was only one bed in the room. I wasn't planning to stay up after I was taking care of you for hours, so I crashed with you" she said with a groan.
"Why?" he asked her.
"You had a bad reaction to the alcohol you consumed and kept on puking, so I kept on getting up to make sure you got back to bed and making sure your hair didn't end up in your puke" she said with a groan.
"So my hair?" he asked her showing her the braid.
"I got sick of holding it back. I tried to put it back in a ponytail but your bangs kept sneaking out, so I French braided those suckers in" she explained. "Now will you come back to bed. I need more sleep" she snapped.
"Only after you tell me what happened after we played pool" he said seizing the covers off of her.
"Give those back, I'm in no shape to be interrogated" she demanded.
"Is that my shirt?" he asked her.
"I had to sleep in something" she replied.
"Why not my jacket?" he asked her.
"That thing seems to be made partly of barbed wire and it's hideous" she complained, sitting up.
"Agreed, now what happened?" he asked, practically wavering in place and felt the need to puke again.
"We started drinking tequila shots with the six gay miners, you and Dave were discussing your old SOLDIER days and then you had an emotional breakdown" she said, pushing her hair back and drawing the covers back onto herself and turning away from him.
"What do you mean emotional breakdown?" he demanded, pinning her onto her back
"You started sobbing and wouldn't stop" she explained and actually looked at him directly and was almost glad to see that the normally immaculately groomed man looked like a bag of shit. With his hair completely pulled back, his face was fully exposed and almost a greyish colour due to his hangover and his skin looked tight on his face, there were dark circles under his eyes and his eyes themselves were swollen from crying. Tifa was positive that his eyes would have been bloodshot if his eyes had white parts in them. However the slits in his eyes were tiny, as if trying to ward off the light.
"But I don't cry" he said, suddenly frozen like the statue people said he resembled, feeling a dark sense of foreboding.
"You did last night. You cried about your horrible past, you cried about being trapped in the lifestream, you cried about your present situation and how you hate your apartment because there's not enough light to raise your orchids and finally, you don't like that one of your bangs is higher on one side than the other. Literally everything! You were a train wreck with the gay couples and myself cuddling you, when they weren't playing with your pretty hair and people coming from other tables to give you hugs to help console you. Everyone heard you. Now come back to bed, I need more sleep" she moaned and not realizing that Sephiroth looked like he was about to start hyperventilating at any second and his normally pale complexion was even paler. He was now literally a statue that barely breathed in his shock, it was like he had had a gorgon's head suddenly mug him. Him...but how? With dawning horror Sephiroth realized she must be telling the truth and bolted for the washroom again. Loss of control was something he feared the most from childhood where he learned to distrust everyone and his personality had been tempered from this.
Afterwards he looked at himself in the mirror and wondered how he could find everyone who witnessed his mishap and kill them. How would he ever live this down? He couldn't even remember the last time he cried and he had to do so in front of what seemed like the entire world!
Tifa almost whined when there was a knock at the door and impatiently pulled it open to find a priest there.
"Morning, I'm about to head out and thought I would come check on you" he explained.
"We're fine" she said, fighting her own hangover and Sephiroth came to join her; wondering who was at the door.
"Everything has been registered this morning, so when you're ready for ring shopping, call this number. Saul will get you anything you want" he said.
"Thanks" she said, wondering what he was talking about.
"How are you young man?" he asked Sephiroth conversationally.
"It seems tequila doesn't agree with me" he said with a wince.
"You know what you need. I have the greatest hangover cure. Pour a shot of vodka and add to it, a raw egg and a shot of Tabasco..." he said and then frowned when Sephiroth slapped his hand over his mouth and ran back to the washroom.
"Is he going to be okay?" he asked Tifa.
"He's a lightweight" Tifa said as unhappy pukey sounds started up again.
"Well I must go meet up with my wife. Have a happy life" he said.
"What's wrong with me?" Sephiroth groaned, having a seat.
"You're hung over as the man said" she said."Do you wear rings?" she asked him.
"I don't wear any jewelry" he said, slumping over, to out of it to care at the oddity of her question.
"Me neither, oh well. I guess hocking his friend's business to people is just what he does" she said dismissively.
Sephiroth groaned when there was another knock on the door and Tifa answered it.
"Good morning General and Mrs...General" the hotel bellhop said, not sure what to say at the lack of a last name on the form. "The Madison thanks you for your patronage and would like to offer you this complimentary breakfast on your first day as man and..." he said.
"Miss Lockhart, please tip this person and get rid of him. His voice is hurting my head" Sephiroth requested of her, clutching his head.
"Where do you keep your money?" she asked him.
"Inside pocket" he said. "Wait why did you call her Mrs.? I thought you were unmarried Miss Lockhart?" he asked her, studying the nervous looking bellboy.
"Crescent" Tifa said in a faint sounding voice.
"That's technically my last name, but I only use it for legal purposes. How did you know?" he asked her.
"It appears to be on our marriage certificate" she said handing it to him and again, he went statue still again as he read it.
"That priest. You there, what do you know of this?" he demanded of the bellhop.
"Well after you had your crying jag" he began and Sephiroth glared at him for this. "The people are your table were adamant that you wanted to be married. So a wedding veil was borrowed from a honeymoon couple and flowers taken from a vase. Don't you remember any of this?" he asked the mystified looking couple. His answer was Sephiroth running for the washroom again.
Tifa, picked up the bottle of water from the tray and put her hand at Sephiroth's back when he slunk out of the washroom again.
"Drink this and come back to bed" she said.
"But if we are truly wed, we have a lot to talk about. I don't believe we consummated this, so therefore..." he said.
"Sephiroth, we will get this sorted later. For now, we both need more sleep and you're hung over. Let's get a couple more hours sleep and then we can decide what to do, until then, lie down" she ordered him.
"Together?" he asked her.
"I'll try to keep my hands to myself, husband darling. Until then, come here" she said getting under the covers and tugging his wrist aggressively towards her. He gingerly lay as far away from her has possible, but she flopped onto his shoulder and draped one of her legs over his. With a sigh, she fell asleep and he tentatively brought his arms around her and couldn't stop staring at her.
A wife, what was he supposed to do with a wife? He had never been married before and his own parent's marriage certainly didn't shed any light into how he was supposed to behave towards her. Did this mean that she could legally demand sex from him? Or order him to reproduce with her? This is not a situation he had ever studied up on, as he couldn't see himself needing to know. With a human woman, he would have to worry about the mako in his system killing her, so to have sexual relations with her would be as if he were signing her death warrent, as far as he knew. Then there was his aversion to having people touch him, yet Tifa was practically wrapped around him and it didn't bother him...quite the opposite, he found her body warmth soothing and soon his exhausted brain shut down and he went back to sleep.