The Whole Thing of the Matter Is…
Note: Yet another Simpsons fanfiction. A bit more edgy than the Moe-related fics I have done in the past, but real life has trauma as well as we all know. After seeing The Simpsons movie I laughed, I cried, and I thought Moe's undies were really adorable. And cuter still, he wears little sock garters.
You go Moe, show off those sexy legs. Yeah, I guess I am a little sweet on Moe, but what can I say, I love his character. The premise is Lynn believes she is pregnant even though she and Moe have been careful in the bedroom. Apparently though, it is only a false alarm, but it brings out the best of the Syzlak family as a whole.
"Oh, and while you were gone, I became the Emperor of Springfield."—Moe to Marge, "The Simpsons Movie"
"No, you didn't !", Barney in distance
(Moe tosses Molotov cocktail Barney's way, it explodes)
"Oh, ok, your Emperor-ness !"—Barney
Chapter 1—Unexpected News
Lynn and Moe's romantic life had always been passionate. Before Francine and Maury came home from school they had usually found each other in the throes of Latin dances quickly turned into lovemaking. The two children had caught the two of them once, red handed, and quickly had to explain the whole matter of "the birds and the bees". Lynn found it less awkward than Moe, while Moe always blushed about it even though Lynn was extremely tactful and explained things in such a manner that anyone could understand how babies came into the world. But this time, there was a bit of a scare in the Syzlak household, and no one saw it coming.
"AHHHH !", Lynn screamed after waking up from a terrifying nightmare. Moe, startled as well, had grabbed his shotgun in defense and pointed it across the room at nothingness in the corner.
"Honey, I thought we were being robbed !", he said, putting the gun down under the bed and crawling back into bed, holding Lynn close from behind.
"I had a dream, it might be an omen.", Lynn said, trembling.
"Darlin', it can't be that bad. I'll drown your fears in kisses.", Moe said, kissing her lovingly. She drank them in deeply and rested her head upon his chest, settling down considerably.
"There, there…I'll protect you from anything, I'm here for you. Nothing can harm you, my love.", he said, running his fingers through her hair and giving her a playful pat on the rump as he usually had in the past. She chuckled and looked lovingly into his eyes, snuggling close.
"You'll get a kick out of this. In my dream, I thought I was pregnant again.", Lynn said, laughing.
"Nah ! Really ?", Moe said, with a raised eyebrow. He had never really planned on having any extra children other than the two he had come to adore so much.
"I know, it's silly isn't it ?", Lynn said, laughing heartily.
"We'll get an EPT tomorrow, and see what's going on. Even if you are, I know it will be extra work, but a wonderful gift. I'm just not sure how Francine and Maur will take it, though.", Moe said, biting his lower lip. He knew that they probably wouldn't be happy with the prospect of a little brother or sister crawling about and crying half of the time, but only time would tell.
The next day, Lynn and Moe told the already incredibly intelligent teens that they were going out to buy a pregnancy test meter. Maury kicked an imaginary rock off of the carpet and sighed. He wasn't really keen on the idea of having a little brother or sister, but he was happy for his mother and father after all. Then again, having a little brother or sister he could teach and try to emulate him might not be such a bad idea. Francine was more than happy about the idea, and hoped that the baby, if there was one, would be a girl so there would be another female in the house. But, both parents were a little nervous, wondering what the future held for them.
Chapter 2—Plus, Negative ?
Lynn was becoming rather apprehensive, particularly when her EPT was inconclusive. With Francine and Maury already in school, Moe and Lynn knew they couldn't be reached by cell phone until lunch. Both taking a collective sigh as they waited their turn at the OB-GYN, Lynn was finally called into see the doctor and Moe waited patiently outside reading a National Geographic for what seemed to be hours. He had never been so nervous. He had always had white coat tension, and he loathed sitting in waiting rooms. The music wasn't much of a help either. It wasn't classical music, or smooth jazz, which often soothed his nerves, but rather awful "muzak" that was in terrible taste. He would've preferred the sound of Lorenna McKinnet or Enya over this type of crappy music any day. Yet, he realized he had no choice in the matter.
It had already been a couple of hours and Moe couldn't seem to keep his feet still, even though he tried to keep himself steady and calm. Whatever he did, it had no affect and he continued tapping his feet on the carpet anxiously. Finally the door to the doctor's office opened and the doctor revealed her news.
"Excellent news. I'm not pregnant !", Lynn said, relieved. Moe hugged her. Even if she had been pregnant, he would've been happy after all but still it was a much needed release for them both to hear this lovely bit of news. They weren't certain how Francine and Maury would take to it, but the two of them would cross that bridge together when they came to it.
Chapter 3—Always Together
By the time Moe and Lynn came back from the hospital, Francine and Maury were finishing up their homework before coming to eat at the table for dinner. Moe knew he would have to make dinner quick since he would be reading to orphans at the local orphanage before work. The family understood that but the question of whether Lynn was pregnant hovered in the minds of Francine and Maury.
"So, boy or girl ?", Francine questioned, in a bubbly and eager tone.
"I'm not pregnant, sweetie. I'm sorry.", Lynn said, leaning over to hug Francine from the side. She was hoping that her mother was pregnant so she would have a baby sister to dress up in cute clothes and take care of, but on the other hand, she had her brother to take care of, so she didn't feel so bad.
"It's alright. We would be happy even if you were.", Maury said, although he had been reluctant about the idea of taking in a new sibling. After dinner, they enjoyed a hug together and came to an epiphany. The family had been made even stronger because of a possible trauma. They knew they could weather any storm that brewed in the distance and even the bumps and bruises that came with middle school life. With a final farewell and a kiss to all, Moe departed for the night to take his old children's books along to the orphanage with him. He would be away for the rest of the night and the kids wouldn't see him until tomorrow but they always looked forward to seeing him again.
Epilogue
Just as it was before, life resumed a sense of normalcy even though the school year was in full swing and the family didn't have much time together. Of course, there were always the weekends when Moe wasn't volunteering when the family got together to bowl, roller skate or go to the movies. Sometimes they would see a movie together, forget their troubles and laugh out loud until their sides hurt, but only during vacations.
Even though the Syzlak's family time was short on varied occasions, they had been brought even closer together because of a slight scare. Of course, there had been worse things than that. Maury had bullies pick on him but Moe taught him how to stick up for himself without getting into trouble and Francine dealt with heartache at times. Lynn told her that any boy worth having for a boyfriend wouldn't be the one to make her cry, but to compliment the type of woman she was becoming. Things were changing in the world around them, but the family dynamic had remained the same. Sure, the passion was still strong, but the Syzlak parents proceeded with more caution than ever. They wouldn't have to worry much once they hit their 50s, but Lynn had to be more careful about that than Moe did. Age difference or not, they were still madly in love and looked forward to many happy years together, watching Francine and Maury grow and mature, through tears and happiness, turmoil and rejoicing.
The End