Berena – hold on

Berena - Hold on

Just my very first one shot? I've been wanting to write one for awhile but ive never had the guts to. PLEASE don't read if it triggers anyone. As Bernie overdose and self harm (I'm really sorry).

Bernie and Serena Marriage had hit the rocks as Bernie Bernie had been hiding her depression from Serena cause Bernie to cheat behind Serena's back with abigail (Sorry i had to), They spend the night fighting about it until Bernie walks away from her and locks herself in the bathroom , Serena gives Bernie time to calm down so they could talk again but soon realises that Bernie had done something stupid when she doesn't open up the bathroom door,Bernie survive the consequences of her actions?

Chapter one

Bernie had returned home around about 2am the following morning , she had told Serena that she was going to be working through the night again, as a couple of months ago she had started to avoid her wife as she was spending more time with the new CEO Abigail Tate, who was the best friend of Serena.

With Bernie stumbling into the house and dumped her keys down on the table nearest the front door, she didn't know that Serena was still awake and sat at the kitchen table waiting to talk to her as she finally discovered the truth of Bernie's whereabouts. The blonde took her phone out of her pocket writing a text "Home safe, miss you already baby x you can't tell Serena about what I've told you" and sent it to Abs before sighing to herself seeing what the time was. She gently placed her phone down on the table next to the keys and headed into the kitchen where she turned the light on not noticing her wife who was sat at the table.

She headed to the sink and lifted a glass and filled it up halfway with tap water , slowly sipping it while staring into the sink, she knew she had to tell Serena the truth but hoped it wouldn't be tonight.

"What time do you call this? And where have you been?" The brunette spoke making the blonde jump a little so that the blonde looked around seeing her wife

"How long have you been waiting there?"

"Few hours now.. since that text you sent me saying you'll be late home… you still

haven't answered my question"

"Does it matter I need to go to bed" she quickly replied and placed the glass in the sink

Serena sighed "of course it matters… I want the truth to where you went"

"And I've already told you… I was at work down in theatre helping Abigail with operation that took all night…" she quickly lied as she wasn't down in theatre.

"How come I don't believe you?"

"I don't know but can we talk about this tomorrow as I really need to go bed.." the blonde snapped trying not to let the guilt show.

"No we can't talk about it tomorrow as you'll do the same thing like you did tonight, it's like you don't wanna be seen with me anymore, it was your idea to rush and get married"

The blonde shook her head "marrying you isn't a mistake okay"

"It certainly feels like it"

"Well it's not now if you'll excuse me"

"Your hiding something.. and I'm gonna find out what it is"

The blonde sighed and rolled her eyes "good luck with that" the brunette raised an eyebrow before watching her leave and gave out another small sigh

The blonde left the room and headed upstairs to the bedroom forgetting that she had placed her phone down on the table next to the front door which gave Serena an opportunity to go on it and look for the answers that she wanted.

The blonde had gone for a quick shower when her phone went off, Serena went to the table and picked it up and sat on the stairs where she then read Abigail's reply "I know babe I miss you to, but I'll see you tomorrow, I love you , hey you know I won't tell her xx"

The brunette felt her heart break while reading the previous messages, she had found the answers that she had being looking for, she also looked through her emails and pictures before going to confront her wife about it. The brunette stormed up the stairs also storming into the bedroom the blonde turned and looked at her while drying her hair with the towel

"We need to talk" the brunette spat holding Bernie's phone in her hand

"And I told you it can wait"

"And I said now Bernie" the brunette spat raising her voice"

"Alright fine, what did you want to talk about?"

"You know exactly what…"

"No I don't or I wouldn't be asking"

"You lied to me! You wasn't down in theatre was you?"

"I haven't lied, of course I was down in theatre what makes you think that I wasn't?"

"The messages from Abs?"

The blonde eyes lit up and felt her heartbeat more faster "what messages from abs?" She replied trying to act like she didn't know what she was talking about.
"Don't give me that! You know full well what messages I'm talking about" the brunette raised her voice again and took a small pause "Are you cheating on me with her"

The blonde looked at her wife, giving her a small nod "Yeah.." before she looked down at her hands

"How long?"

"I don't know"

"Let me ask you that again, How long have you been seeing her?" Shouted the brunette

"Since you went on annual leave.." the blonde spoke quietly

"Pardon ?"

"when you went on annual leave.. when you went away with Jason to France... I needed someone to talk to..."

So you decided not to call me to talk and talk to someone who doesn't even know you?!"

"I'm sorry,At least you have family, where as I've got no-one…"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is true! You have family that I'm not a part of, like you said…"

The brunette sighed and watched her wife's move moments , The blonde sighed "you left, I had no-one i didn't even want you to go but you went anyway! You didn't even know that I'm depressed if you don't wanna love me anymore it's fine!" The blonde snapped before leaving the room going into the bathroom before slamming it which made Serena think that he had left the house.

The blonde locked herself in the bathroom and stared into the mirror of the medical cabinet before punching the mirror and watched it shattered into a million pieces with some getting caught in her hand. The blonde opened the cabinet and took out a cloth and some pills , she sat on the floor and unveiled the cloth revealing a knife that she had been hiding from her wife

The blonde held the knife in her hand and had the tub of pills on the floor next to her thinking if she was about to through with what she was about to to do, with a little hesitation she started to take the pills knowing it was over for her.

After Serena giving Bernie time to calm down before she came knocking on the door "Bernie?"

The blonde didn't answer as she had swallowed all the pills that was in the tub and her right wrist was lying in a puddle of blood, The brunette knocked again in-case she was on the toilet , she waited another five minutes before deciding to break the bathroom door down , when she saw the blonde lying lifeless in the middle of the room, The brunette ran over to her and held her close to he so that she could hear the blondes heart beat

Serena started to panic when she couldn't hear the blonde's heartbeat she started to rock her gently while fighting back the tears before letting them go and screamed
"Come on Bernie, Ple...Please don't leave me" before crying into the blonde for a few moment before getting her phone out and called for an ambulance.

Once the ambulance arrived Serena had a bagged packed of some of Bernie's things . The paramedics lifted the blonde onto a stretcher and carried her down to the ambulance and strapped her in, Serena followed them out the house and quickly locked the front door before climbing into the back of the ambulance and sat next to her wife taking her hand while the paramedic was trying to get Bernie's heart to beat again.
It took the ambulance about five minutes to get to Holby . Abigail was on the shift when she answered Serena's call and got everyone ready for when Bernie got rushed through the doors . The ambulance pulled up and got the blonde out the back of the ambulance and rushed her though the double doors.

"Berenice Wolfe, 53 years old, Overdosed and it looks like she tried to self-harm..." the male paramedic called out as Abigail looked over at Serena seeing how scared she was and knew that she had found out about the affair before looking back at the male paramedic "Ill take her, Bed number 3" the male nodded and pushed the stretcher over to bed number 3 and helped lifted the blonde onto the bed.

Abigail came over and looked at the blonde and gently looked at her wrist and sighed before softly stroking the blondes forehead "its gonna be okay" She whispered to the blonde before taking the gloves off and walked over to see when the theatre was free which was going to be free in about two minutes , Serena was sat in the office holding Bernie's jumper close to her and looked up at Abigail who had just walked in "This Is all you fault!" she shouted at the long haired blonde knowing that it was her own fault, she was just hurt and angry

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt anyone she - " the blonde spoke before Serena cut her off "Don't you fucking dare tell me that your sorry – she's my wife and I find out that shes being seeing my best friend behind my back..."

the blonde didn't say anything for a few moments "i'm about to take her down to theatre if you wanted to watch..."

"shes gone isn't she? She isn't gonna come back?"

"I don't think she is, I think we can still save her..."

Serena didn't look at her and looked at the photo of her and Serena celebrating their 6 month anniversary "she never spoke about it... the depression, she always looked so happy" she said with a shaky voice before breaking down again, this time she broke down in abs arms.

"hey , she's gonna make it I swear" the blonde spoke softly to comfort her as Ric and Fletch took Bernie down to the theatre and started to operate on her, Bernie's was bleeding out interally due to all the pills she had taken, Ric opened her up seeing that it was her stomach and started trying to stop the bleed which was going to take a while as the tablets had cut deeply into her stomach.

Serena was now in the family concil room waiting on news of the operation, she was sat on the sofa still holding Bernie's jumper close to her and used it as a pillow, a few moments later she fell asleep cuddling into the jumper, about 3 hours later Abigail came into the room with two coffees after sorting out a patient , but when she saw the brunette asleep she put the coffee down on the table and sat by her before gently placing her head onto her lap letting Serena sleep on her for however long she wanted, as Serena was asleep she felt someone move her and woke seeing that she was asleep on someones lap she instantly thought it was Bernie. "Bernie?"

the blonde looked down at her "no, its abs , Bernie's still in theatre"

the brunette gave a little nod "How long have she been down there now?"

"I would say a good 2 hours... I can found out what's going on if you like?"

"Could you?"

"Course I can" replied Abs and slowly got up from the sofa and went down to the theatre to see what was going on, she held down the microphone buzzer and started to talk to Ric

"Any news on Bern?"

"well... we had trouble with getting her stomach to stop bleeding but it finally stopped and were just about to be finished repairing the vain in her wrist but its gonna scar... both of it, we're just about come out with her now"

Abs nodded listening "Thank you , i'll see you back on the ward"

Ric finished off repairing the vain and stitched her wrist off while Fletch was stitching up her stomach area, they successfully finished the operation and got out of their scrubs and wheeled Bernie back up to the AAU , Abs was back on AAU when she saw Bernie back in the bed area ,she smiled to herself and went to let Serena know, Abs reached the family council room and knocked on the door softly "they just brought her back up , you can go see her if you like"

The blonde had regained her heartbeat but it wasn't enough to let her breath on her own , Fletch had wired her up to the life support machine, when the brunette heard that her wife was back on the ward she shot up and rushed to the AAU and went back to the bed 3 area , she sat down taking her wife's hand again "i'm really sorry, just Hold on as I still want you" she paused while stroking her wife's hand as the tears started to stream down her face again and looked at fletch "is she going to be okay?"

Fletch gave a soft smile "well at the moment she's in a coma but i'm sure it wont be long before she's back with us, you know how strong she is.."

the brunette nodded and stroked the blondes hair softly before kissing her head "Come back, I still need you baby"