Red & Black
[Enjorlas is in his carnival concession stand, recruiting people for the rise of the Junk Food Revolution. Marius wants to join, as he, too, adores junk food; but alas, though no one knows, he is a doctor, so he doesn't know what to do about this predicament. He wants to quit being a doctor and join the Junk Food Revolution, but he's the only doctor for miles and he can't stand the thought of people suffering if he should quit. He sits on a chair and ponders this, while the rest of the gang works out battle plans. Enjorlas begins to sing a speech.]
Enjorlas: The health is near,
So near, it is making the cake go bad,
And so, take care-
Don't let the health song in your ear!
We need more pies!
And maybe some ice cream,
And also some chips,
And bring me more fries!
[Sounds of bad guys at the door, trying {and failing} to get in]
Marius, get up,
We need your chair,
To barricade the door, o'er there,
Unless you'd like to eat their greens!
Marius: The greens, you say?
The greens, indeed,
I'll only eat green jelly beans;
Just give 'em there, and they'll be gone!
[There is a scuffle between Enjorlas & Marius. Marius refuses to give up his chair.]
Courfeyrac: [holding a paper] Enjorlas, come here,
Lend me your ear,
Look at this thing I have found!
It says here that Marius is a doc!
It says he works around the clock,
To get people to lose weight!
This is quite an odd twist of fate!
[They all gasp. Marius: A doctor that tries to get people to be healthy?! He's a traitor! They waste no time tying to the chair he wouldn't give up. Marius says that yes, he's a doctor, but he too loves junk food, and wants to abandon his career as a doc. He is ignored. Enjorlas tries to decide what to do with him.]
Enjorlas: Now it is time for us to decide what to do
With this traitorous fiend, who wouldn't give his chair for the cause.
Should we go out, throw him into a lake,
Or stay here and make him watch us eat cake?
It's so hard to decide, I'd like to see him be pied–
Red! The color of fireballs!
Black! My favorite jelly beans!
Red! The color of licorice!
Black! The color of my teeth!
Marius: [the doctor in him rising to the surface]
If you brushed your teeth, they wouldn't be so black,
Keep eating junk food, and you'll have a heart attack.
Yes, I agree that the junk food is swell!
But you'll eat so much, you won't be feeling well-
You'll make yourself so sick,
A ring pop you won't lick…
Red! The blood my patients shed!
Black! The stethoscope I wear!
Red! The lollipops I give!
Black! My patients die, despaired!
Enjorlas: [annoyed] Marius, you are still a doc,
I have no doubt you don't mean well,
I think you'll kill us in our sleep!
Who cares about eating healthy-like?
We'd rather eat both Mike and Ike,
Lest we sink into Depths of Grief!
Enjorlas' Recruits: Red! The color of fireballs!
Black! My favorite jellybeans!
Red! The color of licorice!
Black! The color of my teeth!