The Beautiful Letdown
Spoilers: There may be, based on spoilers I've read, but take that with a grain of salt.
Archive: Yes, but please let me know at alias24@epals.com.
A/N: This takes place after Kisangani.
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He unlocked the door and quietly stepped inside. He knew where he was going and kept his eyes focused forward as they adjusted to the darkness. He dropped his bags on the floor and cautiously walked into her room. She was sleeping, of course. It was, after all, two in the morning. He wondered what time her next shift was as he sat on the bed, careful not to wake her. He gently kissed her forehead, then gazed at her sleeping form before turning away. He sighed and put his head in his hands.
The Congo had been nothing like he'd ever though he'd witness. H still felt the pressure of the gun on his forehead, the fear building in his chest, threatening to take over. Never had he felt such terror since…Valentine's day.
No, he thought to himself, don't even go there. Don't think of Sobriki; block him out. Block out the pain, the blood, Lucy…
Lucy. The memory of her horrified face had never left him. The pain he felt, both in his back and his heart, returned when he thought back to when he stared into her deep blue eyes. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the awful thoughts. But his emotions had already overwhelmed him, and he felt a tear slide down his cheek. Then, he cried out in pain when a fist hit the back of his head hard enough to knock him off the bed.
"Who are you and what the hell are you doing in my apartment?"
Carter rubbed the back of his head and moaned uncomfortably. The fall had caused a spasm of pain to shoot up his back.
"Oh, God," Abby said, her voice softening. "Carter?"
"Nice to see you, too," he answered, sarcastically, rising to his feet and leaning against the wall for support.
"I…you…you're back!" she stammered, switching on the lights.
Carter shielded his eye from the sudden illumination of the room. "Yeah."
She looked him over, but didn't make any sign of movement toward him. That's when Carter understood. Things were not going to go back to the way they were.
"How'd you get in?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
He racked his brain for a moment, trying to piece things together. "Uh, you gave me a key," he replied, pulling it out of his pocket. "Remember?"
She blinked and decided not to push that issue further. "I didn't know you'd be back this soon."
He shrugged. "I did what I had to do."
"You didn't call."
"It was busy over there."
She didn't respond for a moment. Then, "Maybe you should go."
"Abby--" he started.
"No, Carter, just…I can't deal with this right now. I have a shift in four hours, and I don't--"
"Fine," he said, cutting her off. "I'll go."
"Hey," she called as he started to leave. He paused and turned back to face her, praying that the hopefulness on his face wasn't too obvious. She bit her lip before blurting, "I want my key back."
Carter raised his eyebrows in surprise. He reached slowly into his pocket, pulled out the key, and tossed it in her direction. She didn't make any attempt to catch it. He felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and turned again to leave.
"Carter," she said. This time, he stopped, but didn't turn around.
"What?" he asked exasperatedly.
"I…I'm glad you're okay."
Carter felt a lump begin to rise in his throat. He coughed and turned his head to look at Abby. He didn't speak. He just gave her a cold glare, letting her know that her comment was left unappreciated. He saw her lips part slightly.
"Carter, please, you have to understand--" she started.
He held his hand up to silence her. He took a breath. "I don't want to hear anything else come out of your mouth right now. I'll come by later to get my things." He was surprised at how his voice sounded: hoarse and dry.
Abby put a hand to her eye, trying to be subtle as she wiped a tear away. She lifted her arm in a motion to reach for him as he left, slamming the door as he walked away.