December 8, 2014. I do a bit of rp on tumblr with this guy and this was one of the headcanons I came up with based on his relationship with Irukas. I had to play a bit with the origins of nikujaga, since there isn't a British Royal Navy or an Imperial Japanese Navy. Heads up that there be torture here.

There were four of them originally, two Anbu, one chūnin, and himself. It was a standard number for a shinobi team to travel and operate in. One of them was dead (the chūnin) and one of them was injured and running back home for all he (or she, Iwashi wasn't sure what was under the Anbu mask and armor) was worth. One of them had betrayed the rest. He was the lucky one, forced into another highly uncomfortable position, hanging by the ceiling in a barbed chain harness. He was cold from previously having roughly a third of his body dunked and held under water, wondering how long it would be before he died. He figured probably a few more days, depending on what tortures his captors decided to visit upon him.

The betrayer of the group, a goat masked Anbu, seemed pissed off, yanking and spinning him around by his hair, punching and kicking him, and in general swearing at the world. Iwashi spit out a tooth and some blood after the last punch. "Things not going so well with the Rabbit Anbu?"

The Goat told him to "Shut up!" and backhanded him, causing him to spin and swing in place, the barbs digging into him some more. He shut his eyes, the spinning giving him a headache. He expected another punch, but instead there was a knock at the door and one of the guards answered it. Whispers were exchanged, but he couldn't understand anything. When they stopped, he heard footsteps as someone entered, along with the door closing. His spinning had slowed down enough that he could identify what he was seeing, so he opened his eyes and watched two walls pass by before he caught sight of a nin with an Iwa hitai-ate watching him.

"This isn't who we were expecting."

The Goat shrugged. "Last minute change. Trust me, I wanted Morino just as much as you did. This one won't last as long, but he works for T&I, so he'll have some useful information."

Iwashi snorted. "I'm a fountain of information. Did you know the invention of nikujaga happened in Yugakure? They boil everything there, but a traveling chef from Water country invented it. There are two different drinks made from corn. One is fermented and produces an alcoholic beverage-"

The Goat man grabbed his foot and made him spin around fast again. "Shut the fuck up!"

Closing his eyes to avoid puking, not for his own pride, but because then it would smell, he continued. "Did you know tatami mats weren't common until the end of the seventeenth century? Originally only aristocrats and daimyo used them to sit on." On the inside, he was grinning and really, if it wasn't for those pesky barbs and the cold, he could have been enjoying himself.

His violent spinning was suddenly jerked to a stop and he cracked open his eyes. The Iwa nin had a hand on his shoulder, and used his other to lift his head up and look at him in the face. "That's not quite the information we want or need. You know, I could let you down, ease some of the pain. It doesn't have to end in agony."

He shrug was slight and pained him more than he thought it should. "Shinobi deaths aren't generally painless or nice. I could list statistics if you like."

"Not necessary. We will start with the easy question. What is your name?"

He sighed. "Tatami Iwashi, ninja registration number zero-one-two-zero-two-one. Tokubetsu jōnin of Konohagakure." His smile was sad. "That is all I can tell you, unless you'd like more useless facts that don't pertain to Konoha."

"Can't... or won't?"

"I won't betray Konoha."

The Goat exploded. "Damned loyal Konoha dogs! You will tell us everything we want to know-"

"OR what? You'll keep dunking me in water until I die? Beat me up while I'm still chained here until I die? Torture me in some other creative way I don't even know about until I beg you to stop and promise to tell you everything? So that you can just kill me anyway? We all know I'm not walking out of here alive." He glared at both men, eyes going wide when he saw the Iwa shinobi making hand signs. That was never a good thing. "Doesn't matter what you do, I will not be to betray them!" He shut his eyes again.

The Iwa nin chuckled. "It's too late for that, little fish. We all fear something. Enjoy your stay in my genjutsu."

He blacked out and when he woke up, he was in a hallway, standing in line with other students, unsure of why or how he was there. He jerked forward, pushed from behind, felt himself push back and remembered, as the teacher stomped over and started yelling at him while helping up Ru-Ru-Chan, that he was now in a genjutsu. Although, how he could fear the academy or anything in it was beyond him.

The memories changed and he was standing over Iruka after kicking him down. Two of his friends dragged Ru-Ru-Chan back up so he could punch him. Again, he was confused as to what it was that he feared there. Another change and this time he was shouting at Ru-Ru-Chan, calling him a teacher's pet and the Hokage's plaything. Inwardly, he chuckled, knowing what was to come. What he'd said back then had been uncalled for and Ru-Ru-Chan had finally snapped and fought back. Both of them had bruises, but he'd gotten the snot beaten out of him royally, ending up with two black eyes, a split lip, and an arm broken in two places. It had taken two jōnin to pull Ru-Ru-Chan off him. He tried to say, thinking aloud, "How in the hell can I fear Ru-Ru-Chan?" but nothing came out and his memories changed to something that wasn't a memory. He was in water, swimming along with everyone else. They changed direction, but when he tried to go with them, he was blocked, by Ru-Ru-Chan, who turned into a dolphin. He started laughing at the absurdity of it, which, oddly, broke the genjutsu.

"That's an interesting jutsu, but I thought I was supposed to fear something, not laugh my ass off."

The Iwa nin frowned and made more hand signs and he blacked out again, momentarily. This time, they had both grown up and hadn't seen each other in years. He was accompanying Anko, running errands for her and keeping an eye on things just like the other examiners. Therefore, he was present when Ru-Ru-Chan asked Anko if he could be there for team 7. It wasn't a memory of Ru-Ru-Chan that he'd ever paid attention to, because nothing had happened. Ru-Ru-Chan had talked to Anko, gotten permission to do what he wanted and left. So why was it now that Ru-Ru-Chan was glaring at him? That wasn't in his memory before. As far as he knew, Ru-Ru-Chan either had ignored him or not noticed him.

While he was puzzling why his memory had changed, things jumped again. Now he was a tokubetsu jōnin, newly assigned to work with Shiranui-san and Namiashi-san. In an attempt to get to know each other and set expectations, they went out for dinner and happened to run into Iruka as he was walking home. It was what Iwashi considered the first real meeting with Iruka since their younger days. They had stopped, his new teammates apparently knew Iruka quite well and Genma even invited him to join the three of them for dinner. Genma jokingly claimed that they needed a date for Iwashi and both Iruka and Iwashi made faces. Iruka had tried to politely decline while he just stood there trying not to look like he'd rather be in a swamp filled with leeches and battling a dozen enemy shinobi. When Raidō insisted, Iruka relented and ended up eating with them. Like the previous memory, he did not remember the glares he was now receiving while reliving it.

Overall, the entire meal hadn't gone too bad in his original opinion. Now he was starting to question it. Were the glares part of his original memory and did he just not pay attention very much the first time or were they part of the genjutsu? For all that he still didn't care for Iruka, he was more than willing to try and maintain politeness and 'keep the peace', so to speak. During that night, originally, he had thought Iruka was doing the same. They were both forcefully polite with each other, much to Genma's clear amusement. What Raidō thought, he wasn't sure. He had a hard time reading the man. He seemed content to let well enough be left alone, even going so far as to give Genma a look that said 'Knock it the fuck off.' when Genma finally got them to both admit they still didn't like each other.

It was at that point, over buttered corn and sardines with lemon that they both agreed to attempt to be civil towards each other and not repeat the mistakes of the past. They were both adults now after all and he even conceded enough to apologize for being as much of a bully as he was. What came afterwards, Iwashi was sure wasn't in his original memory. Genma was calling for the waiter and Raidō was paying serious attention to his food. Iruka, after catching his eye, took one of the sardines and savagely bit the head off. It felt almost as if it was his head instead.

He came out of the genjutsu gasping, sweat pouring from him and dripping onto the floor. The Iwa nin smirked at him and sent him back before he could get any word in, not that he would have managed much more than calling his captors names or swearing in his shock. This time he was back in the ocean, in a small group blocked off from the larger by what he was now deeming Dolphin Iruka (it had the same scar across its nose and sometimes seemed like Iruka's face was flickering over the dolphin's features). The other fish mimicked the other villagers in terms of features and face flickering. He could see Genma and Raidō fish closely hanging around the dolphin and some of the others, such as the Hokage, not too far away. In his own group, he saw his two friends from before (were they not already dead though?) and even a face he vaguely recognized from an investigation he had done.

The little group he was in swam away, trying to hide behind rocks and seaweed, but Dolphin Iruka kept herding them, playing with them, and he somehow became separated from them and couldn't find them again. He was terrified Dolphin Iruka had eaten them and he was next, but before anything happened, he shifted into another memory. This time, he was walking alone and minding his own business. He'd just gotten back from an easy courier mission and was even looking forward to telling his mother some very good news. He finally had enough saved up for her to buy whatever house she wanted. They lived in the poorer neighborhoods after his father died and it was always one of his promises to her. Someday they would live in a place even better than what Papa had been able give them because it would be hers. No more renting, no more moving, and no more insecurity. As he walked, he passed Iruka and Kakashi coming off a side street that led to the market. He gave a polite nod them and continued walking along.

His original memory ended there. He'd gone to the Yamanaka store, bought a card and a mixed bouquet of flowers for his mother, and then walked back to the apartment they lived at. She'd cried after reading the card, given him a bone crushing hug, and told him how proud she was of him for being such a good shinobi. The new memory had Iruka and Kakashi turn around and follow him, talking in overly loud whispers he could hear. By time he left the store with his flowers, Iruka was following Kakashi while Kakashi followed him, making some not very subtle threats that no one else seemed to hear or see.

His perspective changed suddenly. He was on his side, one eye covered and his other eye staring straight up. There was light glinting off a piece of metal that was descending. There were places he could see around it, but he couldn't figure out what lay behind it. It moved and was a tan color. By time he thought to move on and look at the other things surrounding him, the metal turned and came down faster, stabbing him in his midsection. He tried to scream, to move, but the only thing that moved was the metal, sliding all the way through his body and then lifting him up. The tanned thing got bigger until he passed it, his view now of two very large holes with dark, wiry ropes inside. The metal stopped moving up and instead started moving backwards, to what, he couldn't see, but he passed through what he perceived a tunnel opening with large white boulders. The boulders started moving down, coming close and closer and he tried to move with all his might. When the boulders crashed down and separated his head from his body, it was painful for all of two seconds before it went dark.

He woke up, back in the room, still hanging from the ceiling in chains.

"You're pale and shaking like a leaf in the wind. It doesn't look like you can take much more of this. Why not give in and answer our questions?"

"Huh?"

The Iwa nin was grinning. "How close are you to Ibiki?"

He was confused, disoriented, but the mention of his boss grabbed his attention and he snorted. "The word 'friend' isn't in the Boss' vocabulary."

"But you work for him?"

"Lot of people work for him."

The Iwa nin nodded and gestured for him to continue. "Tell me more."

"Go to hell in an Iron Maiden."

"What?"

The Goat growled and hit him, sending him swinging once again. "One of Morino's signature jutsu."

"I see." The Iwa shinobi grabbed Iwashi and stopped his swinging. "Our guest needs more quality time with his fears then."

He was back at the academy. Another day spent minding his business until someone threw a paper ball at him. "Senseiii, Iwashi's paaassing notes!"

He glared at Iruka and as the sensei approached, he tried to explain. "It just landed on my desk."

"Save it, young man." The note was confiscated and behind the teacher, he could see Iruka sticking his tongue out at him. The teacher opened up the paper. "Let's share with the class, hmm? 'Sensei looks like a cow in the dress she is wearing.' 'What are you talking about?' IWASHI TATAMI, you march yourself outside my door this instance!" The class was snickering and Iruka was smirking, expression changing to a more neutral one when the teacher turned around, grabbed Iwashi and dragged him along with her. She threw him out the door. "Don't you dare move from that spot, young man."

'Did that really happen that way? Yes? No? I... don't know anymore.'

He was back in the water again. 'Hell no. Fuck this shit. I am not going to believe this. Iruka is not a dolphin. I am not a sardine. We are not enemies. I may not like him, but I don't fear him. He isn't that kind of guy. He wouldn't just harm someone from his own village with no good reason.

This time, he had no group. He tried to swim back to the large group, charging ahead and swimming as fast as he could, but he was blocked and slapped away as Dolphin Iruka was suddenly there, twisting his body so that he hit Iwashi with his tail. He was stunned and pushed far away from the group. He gathered his wits in time to sense a bigger body near him and he tried to swim away, to dodge, but he only made it partially, being slapped again, by a fin this time.

His stunned state lasted longer, enough to give Dolphin Iruka the time to get underneath him and push him with his nose. At first Iwashi thought Iruka was pushing him towards the other group of fish, but his hope was crushed when he broke through the surface of the water and went flying up in the air. He wiggled, successfully turning himself so he landed face first in the water instead of side first. Dolphin Iruka was waiting for him again, tail coming at him with great force. He bit down on it, refusing to let go. Dolphin Iruka tried to slap him against the water's surface in an attempt to stun him into letting go. When that didn't work, the bottom of the ocean and protruding rocks were used as beating posts. It was against one of the rocks that he finally let go and he floated in the water, too battered to move. He was close to the surface when he sensed Dolphin Iruka swimming up from underneath him.

Just as he thought he was about to get eaten, the jaws and sharp teeth close to chomping down on his little sardine head, a great paw swooped him up, out of the ocean. How the hell the bear was standing on the ocean didn't even register with him. The fact that he should fear the bear eating him didn't either. Rather, he thought he was quite safe.

"Big, big black bear."

"Tatami, wake up! Damn it; hurry your Anbu asses up. Where is that lazy ass medic? You had better not make me tell your mother any bad news, Tatami. I'll drag you back and make you tell her yourself!"

He felt like he was being shaken like a rag dog and the bear was shouting at him, but he couldn't hear clearly. He tried reassuring his bear rescuer, but what came out was indistinct mumbling. The next thing he knew, he was waking up to a white room with the sun pouring through the windows and his bedside surrounded by two Anbu and a seemingly sleeping Ibiki.

"How?" His throat felt scratchy, so he rubbed it and tried again. Ibiki's eyes snapped open. "How did I get here?" His voice sounded to him like it was going through a cheese grater.

Ibiki poured him a cup of water and handed it to him. His fingers and hand trembled as he brought it up to his mouth to drink. When he was done, Ibiki took the cup back. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Spinning, er, I was stopped after that and...uh, genjutsu."

He looked up at the ceiling and Ibiki coughed to regain his attention. "Ah, right, sorry Boss. Some Iwa nin said he was putting me under some sort of genjutsu. Something about fear, I think. It, uh, it made me visit a lot of memories mostly."

Ibiki held up a hand, stalling him from saying anything else. Do you remember anything after that?"

"Waking up here, just now." He smirked. "Didn't know you cared so much, Boss. Guess that means we can be drinking buddies now."

Ibiki scowled. "Not even close. You will be spending a lot of time in my office-"

"I'll bring the sake!" A slap upside the back of the head followed his declaration. His hand went up to the spot to rub it. "Ow, what was that for?"

"Pay attention! You've woken up three times since we removed you from your previous location. The first time we were on the way back and you went nuts. You grabbed the sword from the Anbu carrying you, stabbed him in the back, and managed to slice into two others before we could stop you. No one was aware you had any sword skills."

He was still rubbing the back of his head. His hair felt weird to him, he was used to cloth being there. His reply to Ibiki was a little nervous. "Would you believe I learned a little bit from Raidō?"

"Then I suppose we should thank Shiranui for the senbon lessons?" One of Ibiki's eyebrow rose up enough to disappear halfway under his hitai-ate.

"Uhmm, kind of? I mean, I've learned to dodge them more than to throw them. I was already pretty good at throwing things."

"So I've seen," Ibiki said dryly. "The other two times you woke up here. The second time you nearly killed a nurse before leaping out of the window buck-naked. Anbu chased you down and cornered you. I have reports of you screaming about not letting 'The Dolphin' eat you as you ran. You even stole another Anbu blade and tried to kill yourself with it." Ibiki took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The third time you sweet talked the nurse into undoing the cuffs we placed on you, got her to panic because you thought the village was in danger and she thought 'The Dolphin' was code. She ran out to get her superior and when they came back, you were gone. At least this time you had enough sense to put some pants on. You almost made it back home before we caught you and you wouldn't stop talking about making sure she was safe from 'The Dolphin' and that he was going to eat the village and no one would know until it was too late because he was hiding behind the Hokage. Your mother is fine, by the way."

Iwashi was confused, and it showed.

"None of this sounds familiar?"

"No, is that why?" He waved his hand at the two Anbu.

Ibiki snorted. "Those are the two that managed to somehow lose their swords to a tokubetsu jōnin. They have extra incentive to make sure you don't escape again, until both the medics and I say otherwise." He stood up, preparing to leave. "I've left some paperwork for you to fill out. Have it done by time I come back."

"Sure thing, Boss." If he got bored enough, which he probably would since it wasn't like he was going to sneak past two very vigilant Anbu.

A few weeks later, he went out to celebrate his freedom. Free from the investigation into his torture, free from the hospital, free from boredom. He could go back to work the next day and while the first few days would be full of paperwork, it would be one step closer to getting back into action. He hit up his favorite bar for a few drinks. He remembered everything up to that third drink, talking with the bartender and a few of the other regulars, but after that? How he'd gotten from the bar to this place? There was no memory. No memory of why he had a kunai in his hand or why it was exactly, that he was outside Iruka's place.

Do it. Free Konoha.

He dropped the kunai and ran, making a beeline for T&I, where he holed himself up in Ibiki's office, hiding under and cuffed to the desk while he waited for the Boss to come in the next morning.