I was watching the music video for Jason Derulo's "What if" and immediately thought of this, so here ya go.
Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or the song.
"I know that whenever he first came in – because he was the last, you know, puzzle piece; we like to call it. But he was the last piece. I know we had a few other guys who were there for the audition. I think all of us at some time, Scott Fellows – the creator of the show – came and said, 'what do you think about the guys, who are you leaning towards?' Well, we all said Kendall. All of us. We all knew that it was right – whenever all of us were there, it was like magic and we knew that was what we were missing. So that was definitely a happy day for all of us."
- Logan Henderson on Kendall Schmidt being cast in Big Time Rush
Logan knew the damage was done and there was no fixing it. The coming out, Kendall freaking and running into the street. There was no changing what was happening. But Logan Henderson would do anything to alter this devastating fate.
What if?
What if I'm the one for you?
And what if you're the one for me?
What if...
"Hey, Logan! I am so glad you could make it," Selena chirped to the 17-year-old. She and Demi both embraced Logan into a hug, their arms folded over each other's.
"Oh, well you know how much I love parties," Logan exclaimed when they pulled away. "How did that movie go?"
"Great," Demi said, "I heard you were auditioning for something; care to tell?"
"I'm actually not very sure...what it is," Logan admitted sheepishly, "The director Scott Fellows basically just said it was for Nickelodeon and involved a band or...or whatever."
The two girls exchanged a glance. "Good luck with that then," Selena beamed. "Demi and I are going to go greet some more guests; feel free to introduce yourself, get some refreshments, and...Just have fun."
"I will," the brunette sing-songed. Logan strolled casually through the building occasionally making small-talk with a few of the other guests. When he reached the kitchen, Logan poured himself a glass of slightly suspicious diet coke.
"Umm..."
Logan looked up and met the eyes of a blonde his height with short hair. "...Hello?" Mused Logan. He took a sip of his drink and flipped his shaggy dark hair out of his eyes. "Can I help you?"
"I'm Kevin; Selena and Demi's co-star," Kevin explained. "They mentioned you a lot."
"Oh," Logan said.
"They said you were into acting...And that you were also planning on an audition." Kevin coughed a bit to clear his throat. "I brought my brother along; he's an actor too."
Logan nodded slowly and sipped again. "Cool."
"Well, later," Kevin said, "If you need to know where anything is, just ask one of the cast members." Logan half-smiled and waved his hand as Kevin strode off. He turned into the next room and spotted a boy who vaguely resembled Kevin except had longer hair and a deeper shade of emerald eyes. The blonde was singing softly as he strummed his guitar.
If you are the one
Then us meeting here is fate
Future with a dog named Ben
Buy a house with a fireplace
This is the first I've seen your face
But there's a chance we are soul mates
I know this might sound crazy
Cuz you don't know my name
Kendall pressed his forehead against Logan's as they brought each other closer. The blonde trembled as Logan moved his hands over his back. Kendall was through with hiding. He hated that he and Logan couldn't be like every other straight couple. Every time Kendall saw couples on the street walking by on the street it tore him in two knowing he and Logan could never do that. Many times, he could argue that, 'everyone loves Ellen and Neil Patrick Harris; they're out!' But it wouldn't change how Kendall and Logan had their commitment to Big Time Rush.
"I know it's hard, Kindle but...j-just wait a couple of years until BTR is over; maybe?" Logan whispered, gently whipping away the tears on his boyfriend's face.
"I've been waiting," Kendall snapped, a bit more brusquely than intended.
Logan moved his hands down to envelope them in Kendall's, in no way fazed at the younger's harsh ton. He kissed Kendall, moving his lips against the others in perfect sync. When Logan pulled away, he said gently, "Listen; if you want to, we can call up Neil or whatever you keep arguing with me with."
"How would you have his phone number?" The blonde snorted.
"Ever heard of a phone book?"
Kendall playfully punched Logan shoulder. "No-I mean..." He shook his head. "Of course."
"Alright, we can ask him how it was like to come out and how he dealt with it," Logan said in a matter-o-fact way.
"I'd like that," Kendall sighed immediately as if anticipated the moment and was set and ready to perform the deed. "Thanks...I-I know this isn't going to be easy. Do you think our fans would be okay?"
Logan shrugged. "Ever heard of fanfiction or Tumblr?"
But we can't, we can't tell the future, no
But that's just the beauty of the world we know
So imma say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
We all can say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
What if
What if
What if
What if
What if
What if...
Logan rested his head on one side and smiled warmly. He leaned against the doorway and watched the boy. This was probably Kevin's brother. The blonde was singing what sounded like an Incubus song. Logan knew it well enough that he could probably join in if he wanted to. His gaze crossed the blonde's and time seemed to slow down. The blonde's green orbs glowed an even more beautiful shade and a smile began forming on his face as well. Logan was about to walk over when he felt his heart lurch. His throat suddenly felt dry. Logan ducked his head down and turned to go back into the kitchen.
Picture me on one knee
With the perfect diamond ring
(Perfect diamond ring)
We haven't met, but if you said yes
We'd have our wedding on the beach
Oohhhh...
It could happen, raise three kids
And we grow old, oh so happily
I know this might sound crazy
Cuz I don't know your name
The two young men sat in the back of the BTR tour bus alone in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Logan sighed, "I'm sorry Kendall."
"I-It's okay," Kendall stammered. "I-I know you d-didn't mean it." He stiffened and didn't dare meet Logan's gaze he inquired, "You didn't mean it, right?"
Logan shook his head vigorously and hesitantly slid over closer. "Of course I didn't," the older said. "I love you, and leaving you would be the dumbest thing I could do. You're everything to me."
"...Thanks," Kendall mumbled. "And I love you too."
Logan wrapped an arm around Kendall's waist. "Good."
"Please don't be jealous again, those fan-girls didn't know about...about us."
"Yeah, and with all the flirting I do, you stay so calm; even when there was that one girl who-"
"Don't," Kendall cut in. "Just; no."
The brunette rolled his eyes. "What, she only-"
"Logan!"
"Alright," Logan chuckled.
Kendall smiled. "Thank you." He kissed Logan's neck and snuggled into his side. After a minute or two passed, Kendall asked, "How long do you think we'll be together?"
"Forever," Logan answered quickly without thinking. Kendall looked at him with wide eyes. "I, well if you aren't comfortable with me saying that then I won't I mean, psh; it's a total cliché anyways..." He rambled, flustered.
"It's okay," Kendall laughed, "Forever sounds...nice."
Logan responded by leaning forward and lip-locking with his lover. Being here with Kendall, there was no way Logan would be moving from his boyfriend's side any time soon.
But we can't, we can't tell the future, no
But that's just the beauty of the world we know
So imma say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
We all can say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
"Are you going to continue this?" Carlos Pena wondered aloud to James Maslow and Logan Henderson. "It's been going on forever and we still have no idea..."
"I've been thinking about that," James admitted. "...I'm going to hold on. Tough it out. Who knows what could happen."
Logan nodded in agreement. "Yeah, maybe I could be...sky diving or bungee jumping right now but; I'll stay."
"Good," Carlos exhaled.
"At least we know what the show is now," Logan pointed out. "Four best friends from Minnesota becoming famous while experiencing wild and crazy adventures."
James added, "Like Entourage meets the Monkees."
"Exactly," Carlos agreed.
Over the intercom the voice of Scott Fellows exclaimed, "Logan Henderson, your up."
"I will be right back," Logan said, jumping to his feet, he walked into the next room. Through everything, not once did a certain nameless blonde cross his mind. Not. Once.
Don't know what tomorrow brings
But I'm still hoping
That you are the one for me
Ooh and what if I had you and...
What if you had me and...
Baby what's the reason...
We can't fall in love
What if
What if
What if
What if
What if...
"Can I open my eyes yet?" Kendall exclaimed through excited laughter. Logan finished the final adjustments before interlocking his and Kendall's fingers.
"Now," Logan whispered.
Kendall opened his eyes, his jaw dropping open. "You didn't." They were on the edge of the street looking up at the bulletin on Sunset. There was a giant picture of Kendall's current band, Heffron Drive. "How'd you do this? You've hardly been in LA and you already did that!"
"I know people," Logan said sheepishly. "Now...who's the best boyfriend ever?"
Kendall shrugged. "I don't know...That guy from the Titanic, Jack? Maybe Brad Pitt."
Logan bumped into Kendall. "Hey!" He gasped.
"Idiot; It'll always be you, Logiebear," Kendall said, kissing Logan's forehead. "I love you."
"I..."
The blonde's gaze darted around as if searching for a sensation. "Oh, um sorry. I-I mean its okay if you don't feel it too, I get that we just started dating recently so I can wait. Or not. Whatever."
"I love you too, Kendall, geeze calm down," Logan said contently.
"You love me too?"
Logan pulled Kendall into the closest alleyway and smashed his lips against the younger's. His lips brushed against Kendall's as he said, "Yes, ever since I saw you at that party I knew...that you were the one." Logan kissed the side of Kendall's jaw. "Tell me you felt the same way."
"I did," Kendall murmured.
But we can't, we can't tell the future, no
But that's just the beauty of the world we know
So imma say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
We all can say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
Big Time Rush didn't work out. It aired but did not last. Something was missing. Neither the producers nor the cast had any clue what though. It just felt...empty as if there was a missing piece to the puzzle that was Big Time Rush. Logan felt the emptiness more than any of them. Even after he realized that he just wasted about four years of his life, Logan felt like he had another half that was yet to cross him. Maybe they had met, and Logan didn't remember. Maybe they'd walked past each other on the streets, and only acknowledged each other as mere strangers.
Somewhere, there was a nameless blonde boy making a name for himself in the world, acting and guest staring in many TV shows while at the same time working on a band with his best friend Dustin Belt. The nameless blonde was becoming more famous by the day. Eventually a nameless brunette he once crossed would see him in a magazine and in different worlds; the two young men would wonder what their lives would have been if they had spoken. The nameless blonde didn't think there would be much difference. His life as well. He was sucessful. But he didn't feel complete. It was like he was missing his other half.
But we can't, we can't tell the future, no
But that's just the beauty of the world we know
So imma say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
We all can say; doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby what if...
A concert stage no longer set up rests in an empty lot. On the road behind it, a careless driver speeds by, If someone had been there; they surely would have been hit.
This was really ironic...in a, sad way. Sort of.