Ok, I was bored so I decided to do this….
100 things I will do if I get into the Black Order:
1. Pull Kanda's hair...
2. Run to Lenalee and Lavi for help
3. Call Allen 'moyashi'
4. Steal Mugen and paint it neon pink
5. Trick Kanda into thinking that Lavi did it.
6. Laugh while Lavi avoids getting sliced to pieces.
7. Hide all the food in the whole of the Black Order
8. Watch Allen go berserk
9. Organize a strike by the staff of the Black Order just for fun.
10. Throw an onion bomb in Allen's face.
11. Steal a potion from one of Komui's experimenting rooms that turns whoever drinks it into a girl.
12. Sneak it into everyone's food at the Order.
13. Randomly push people down the stairs and watch them crash into other people.
14. Draw on Kanda's face while he's sleeping.
15. Put make-up on him the next time he falls asleep and make sure it doesn't come off using Komui's science stuff.
16. Show Kanda, Lavi and Allen yaoi fan fiction.
17. Watch their reaction and laugh (Allen would probably freak out and that would be the best part)
18. Throw an onion bomb in Kanda's face. (Suggested by Virtue and Vice.)(I would actually really enjoy doing this)
19. Tell Komui that Reever proposed to Lenalee and she accepted and the wedding is tomorrow. :D
20. Considering that Kanda already has make-up on permanently, I would dress him up in a maid outfit the next time I catch him sleeping. (This would only happen if he does not slice me to pieces when he realizes that I was the one who put make-up on him.)
21. Pretend to stalk Krory
22. Repeatedly call Allen moyashi (even if I have no reason to talk to him) just to see how much he can take before snapping
23. Call Kanda 'Yuu'. (I think I'll only get away with that once.)
24. Paint Kanda's room in rainbow colors with unicorns and fairies.
25. Secretly dye Allen's hair bright red
26. At the same time, I would dye Lavi's hair pure white
27. Permanently stick pictures of all the male Order staff and Exorcists cross dressing on all flat surfaces available in the entire Order including rooms and the kitchen. (Kanda would get an extra frilly ball gown with earrings and hairband to match)
28. Hit Kanda on the head with a metal clipboard every time he returns from a mission. :p
29. Randomly whack Lavi with a book.
30. Destroy all of Komui's experimentation rooms just to watch him freak out.
31. Pretend that Komui built a new Komurin and it's programmed to castrate any male in the building so as to protect his darling Lenalee. (Raychaell's idea:) )(I added the castration thing o.o)
32. Run for my life when they find out I was tricking them.
33. Convince Komui to actually build a Komurin programmed to do that.
34. Run crying to Lenalee telling her that Lavi tried to molest me. ( Raychaell's idea)(Lavi actually didn't do a thing)
35. Hide and watch the fantastic show of Lavi being beaten up by Lenalee.
36. Dye Kanda's hair in hot pink and neon yellow stripes. (Variation of Virtue's idea :P)
37. In the last chapter I showed Allen, Lavi and Kanda yaoi fan fiction, now I'll wallpaper their room in yaoi pics. And stick it on permanently using the stuff I stole from Komui. They'll never sleep properly again. *evil laugh* (I wonder if Kanda prefers rainbow colors with unicorns and fairies or yaoi? Hmmm…)
38. Get Allen to eat all the soba in the Order. (That actually wouldn't be a problem.)
39. Kanda almost kills Allen till I tell him Lavi tricked Allen into doing it. Then I laugh while Kanda goes Lavi hunting. Terrified screams are heard 30 seconds later.
40. Accidently knock Kanda's soba to the ground when he's eating.
41. Feed Timcanpy to a big fat cat.
42. Threaten Bak by threatening to tell Komui and Lenalee that he's been stalking Lenalee.
43. Braid Kanda's hair.
44. Spend a month in the infirmary after Kanda catches me braiding his hair.
45. Trip Lenalee up in the hallway so she falls and accidentally grabs Kanda in an attempt to not fall over, resulting in a very awkward position with Kanda on top of Lenalee.
46. Tell Allen that another couple million debts from Cross just arrived and that they're all addressed to him. (just to see him get depressed)
47. Give Road pictures of Allen shirtless(Raych's idea)
48. Give Road pictures of Allen kissing Lenalee (Oh God, can you imagine her reaction?)
49. Hide under Krory's bed at night and jump up screaming at 3am.
50. Ask Kanda if he's really a girl disguised as guy.
51. Tell Komui and Bookman that Lavi got Lenalee pregnant. (Lavi may not survive that)(Raven's idea.)
52. Persuade Komui to have a Komurin day, where he rebuilds all the Komurin and sets them loose in the Black Order. (There are several Komurin's that were built throughout the anime there are 5 in total: 1,2,3,4 and EX and there is a sixth that was built in chapter 2, the castration one.)
53. Take Mugen and replace it with a rubber one. (Raych's idea)
54. Tell Kanda that Lavi did it, then proceed to use the real Mugen for various purposes such as:
55. A kitchen knife, a kid's toy, a giant toothpick, a game of darts etc…etc.
56. Then use his own Mugen to chop off his own hair before throwing it off the cliff that the Order is located on.
57. Hide from a very angry Kanda.
58. Ask Bak if he likes Lenalee then tease him about his hives.
59. Tell Komui about Bak stalking Lenalee. (at the same time, begin to arrange Bak's funeral)
60. Steal Kanda's clothes while he's in the shower.
61. Roll marbles on the floor wherever Lavi happens to be and then watch him fall over.
62. Have a video camera on hand in case he does something embarrassing while slipping. (Falling on Lenalee…)
63. Tell the Millennium Earl he's really really FAT.
64. Then tell him he looks like a giant walking snowman.
65. Hide all of Skinn Bolic's sweet stuff and feed him anything that isn't sweet. *Evil sadistic laugh*
66. Hide pins in Kanda's bed so that they poke/stab/prick him REALLY hard when he goes to bed.
67. Hide somewhere near his room to see his reaction.
68. If it works well, repeat the trick, only that it's not in his bed, it's on his chair where he sits to eat.
69. Provoke Kanda and Allen into bickering again while in the canteen during the lunch time rush hour, then accidently trip behind Allen, pushing Allen into Kanda, resulting in them kissing. Watch the reactions. (Tiger723's idea and it's an awesome one….)
70. right after the above incident, run around yelling "Yaoi, yaoi! In the canteen! Come and see! It's Allen and Kanda kissing! YAOI!" (I may not survive this)
71. For days afterwards, follow either Allen or Kanda around, singing/yelling/shouting: "Kanda and Allen, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
72. Wave the last stick of Dango that Jerry made for the day in Allen's face before eating it in front of him.
73. Show Kanda, Lavi, Allen and Komui this fan fiction.
74. Tell Komui that in the far future, there will be such a thing as air-conditioning, then convince him to invent one and use Kanda's room to test it out.
75. Sneak into Kanda's room at night and turn the air con down to the lowest temperature that it could possibly go. (And knowing Komui, that's probably very very low.)
76. Get Allen drunk.
77. Get Lenalee drunk.
78. Lock them in a room together.
79. I can't say what happened next cause this fanfic is rated K. (Lenalee couldn't walk very well for days afterwards. It is rumored that Komui has locked himself in his study and is currently building a Komurin that is programmed to torture Allen to death. Allen's location is currently unknown.)
80. Super glue Bak and Lenalee's hands together.
81. Casually mention to Komui that Bak was touching Lenalee even when he had no reason to… then just laugh after Komui runs off. (Virtue's idea for 80 and 81)
82. Throw Lavi into a pool of slime. (I'm kinda annoyed at him after my friend went crazy about Lavi –fan girl crazy- and talked only about him for hours.)
83. Slip sleeping powder into Kanda's soba.
84. When he's asleep, tie his hair back in braids, get him a nice pink dress, replace Mugen with a fairy wand and try and convince that he is really Kandaleena and was just dreaming.
85. Drag everyone to play a game of 'spin the bottle' then when Kanda is spinning the bottle, secretly deliberately make the bottle point at Miranda.
86. Set Kanda's hair on fire but make sure that he doesn't notice.
87. Casually walk by with a large bottle of gasoline saying "Here you go Komui, the gasoline you wanted for you Komurin…" then pretend to slip and slosh the whole bottle onto Kanda. (At that moment, his hair was still on fire but he did not notice…)
88. Dye Kanda's hair blonde at night.
89. Stick a note on his bathroom mirror that says: "in this world, there are many types of people. Smart, normal, stupid, and blonde. Congratulations Yuu Kanda. You are a blonde." (Really sorry to all blondes out there, I know that all of you are definitely not stupid :) Kanda is the only exception…)
90. Fan girl scream every time I see Kanda just to annoy him. (I would do it to Lavi, but I get a feeling that he would enjoy it.)
91. Give the Earl a treadmill and tell him to start working out or else someone will mistake him to be a real marshmallow and eat him. (Variation of death's artist's idea)
92. Set up a strip poker match between Lavi and Allen.
93. Constantly call Malcom C. Lvellie 'the guy with the toothbrush moustache.
94. Feign absentmindedness and stab him (Malcom C. Lvellie) with a kitchen knife.
95. Lock Komui and Krory together in a cage. Make sure that there's a video camera nearby. Then say "Oh Komui-san~ did you know Krory was stalking Lenalee?"
96. Record the fight (and probably murder) that ensued, and put it up on pay per view.
97. Use the money collected from the pay per view and buy several large and powerful amplifiers, place them at strategic locations around the Black Order and play annoying songs 24/7.
98. Paint the Order neon yellow.
99. Bring a man-eating flower into the Order (remember the flowers from Krory's castle?) and dump it in Allen's room.
100. Hide in a place far far away from the Order as they hunt for me cause of all the chaos I've caused.
The next chapters are oneshots based on these 100 things, review and enjoy!