Welcome to May I Kiss You?. I normally don't use long Author's Notes, but I think this one needs some explanation. I am Dutch, and I was watching this show called Mag Ik U Kussen? (May I Kiss You?) just some weeks ago. I was thinking, what would my favorite men from Sherlock do in a situation like this? And tada, my story you will be reading soon had begun. It is basically about three men who have to seduce a woman into allowing them to kiss her. Only one can win, of course, so it's a rather humurous game.
Well, I added my own twists and jokes, and it resulted in Mycroft, Sherlock and Gregory contesting for John Watson's lips. Takes place after the ReichenBach Fall, apparently there had been some sort of bet they didn't tell me about. Perhaps that needs a prequel. Who knows.
I have all the eight chapters written out already, so I will update this very regularly. Don't hesitate to ask me anything if it is unclear.
The plain text is present time, the Italic text is what happens on the telly in the show.
Last point, this has been beta-ed by the wonderful MrsCumberbatch, so please check out her stories as well. AND we will probably write stories together, so stay tuned! Any mistakes still present are mine, obviously, and mine only.
Obviously I don't own Sherlock, nor Mag Ik U Kussen?. I'm only playing with them for fun.
Enough Jibber-jabber for today, enjoy the story! Happy reading!
Kind Regards, CowMow.
Chapter 1: Proper Introductions
...
"John, I really don't want to rewatch it."
"This is the first time it's broadcast, don't sulk," John said sternly, turning up the volume.
"Yeah, I kinda look forward to this you know," Greg's voice said after the owner of it sipped from his beer bottle.
"I'm sure you do." That was Mycroft, Sherlock's elder brother who sat on the sofa beside Sherlock, being casual and relaxed in his three-piece suit. "I can imagine you like to see the two of us humiliate ourselves in front of the whole nation."
Greg grinned, nodded and took another sip. How he loved life.
Sherlock huffed and curled up on the sofa. He would have left for bed, but John had forced a promise out of him to stay here. And even Sherlock was not really willing to face a furious John.
"Shht!" John said, excited. "It's starting!"
He sat down between Mycroft and Sherlock, and grinned like a fool.
...
"The first kiss on screen was made in 1896, filmed by Edison Company. The film, called 'The May Irwin-John C. Rice Kiss' lasted for thirty seconds and consisted of a man and a woman kissing for the entire time. The first same-sex kiss was filmed in 1922 in DeMille's 'Manslaughter'," the too-happy host said, grinning at the camera. "Well, I'm sure we will see one more today in our Crime Special of 'May I kiss You?'! Welcome! My name is Philip Baker."
He gestured to the three men sitting on high stools. "Well, please, tell the audience your names and something about yourselves."
He looked expectantly at the first man, a tall man with a mop of dark curls and a pale complexion.
The man sighed. "I'm Sherlock Holmes and I'm a consulting detective." He looked depressed and very, very bored.
Philip coughed when Sherlock didn't explain or tell any more. "Would you care to explain that to the audience, Sherlock?"
Sherlock sighed and fixed his light grey eyes on the host. "I think I can safely assume all the people at home or present here know who I am."
When Philip continued to look very hopeful, Sherlock gave in. "Alright. I'm a consulting Detective, the only one in the world because I invented the job. When the police are out of their depth, which is always, they consult me."
...
"Sherlock, can't you change that introdcution just once?" Mycroft asked. "It's getting a bit worn, don't you think, John?"
"No, I like it," John admitted, his eyes not leaving the screen for a single second.
"John likes it, Mycroft," Sherlock sneered, "And besides, it describes what I do accurately, so why should I cha-"
"Shut up!" John scolded, "I'm trying to listen here."
Sherlock wanted to make a clever remark, but John's elbow between his ribs was sufficient to keep him quiet.
...
"Okay, thank you Sherlock," the host beamed just a bit too enthusiastic. "Well, that was our first Don Juan, who is the second?"
"I'm DI Gregory Lestrade, and I work for Scotland Yard," Greg said, smiling kindly at the host. "I solve crimes and try to keep London safe. Well, as safe as you can when Sherlock runs around in it."
"That's just rude, Lestrade," Sherlock said, almost ready to start pouting, which earned him a rather nasty look from Mycroft, who obviously wanted his own share of the glory.
"Thank you, Gregory. Who is the very handsome man sitting next to you?" Philip asked, feeling more confident after Greg's willing answer.
"My name is Mycroft Holmes, and I occupy a minor position in the British Government," Mycroft said.
...
"Really, Mycroft. Who said anything about me being unimaginative?" Sherlock said, glaring at his brother.
Before Mycroft could defend himself, John already readied himself to give Mycroft an elbow too. Mycroft quickly surrendered and looked back at the screen.
...
"Oh, you are brothers! How exciting," the host cheered. "Tell me, you three know each other?" Philip asked the three of them, but looking very hopeful at Greg who nodded.
"Sherlock here helps me out at crimes that are a tad more difficult," he explained. "And Mycroft peeps in to see if his brother behaves."
"I can imagine that is necessary," the host joked, which earned him a dead-glaring look from Holmes the Younger.
The host quickly asked, "You three are rather famous in the country now, espeacially after this whole Brook-incident."
"It was hardly an incident," Sherlock quipped in. "It was a consulting criminal trying to kill me. And because you are all so insipid and dumb he almost succeeded."
"I see," Philip quickly admitted, clearly intimidated by the consulting detective. "You faked your death and returned a year afterwards, while Gregory and Mycroft here cleared your name."
Sherlock nodded. "Obviously."
"Well, my dear audience," Philip, happy to do so, concluded the introduction-round. "We decided to make a special to celebrate Sherlock Holmes' return, and thankfully Sherlock, Mycroft and Gregory were able to make it."
"I was forced here, you see," Sherlock said. "It was a bet."
"A bet, that sounds interesting. What was it about?" Philip seized this opportunity with both hands.
Sherlock's face flushed an emberrasing shade of crimson, and shook his head. "None of your business."
"It had to do with John and some… daring action," Mycroft said, smugly.
"Mycroft, it was not and stop it." Sherlock's voice was deep and dark.
"Make me." Mycroft's grin seemed to grow even broader.
"I can smell a sibling feud here," Philip said, happy he could return to safe territory, namely explaining the rules of the game.
...
"I still can't believe you said that, Mycroft," Sherlock said angrily.
"Well, it is the truth." Mycroft unbuttoned his waistcoat and shrugged it off. "I'm enjoying myself better than I thought I would."
"Shut up!" This time it was Greg who grew tired of the never-ending comments. "If you don't keep your mouth shut, I'll gag you!"
Neither of the brothers dared to question that threat, so everyone's gaze returned to the small screen of the telly.
...
"It's very easy, really," Philip said, cheeky and cheerily. "Our guest of this evening will come in here soon, and Sherlock, Gregory and Mycroft will have to try and seduce him by romantic poems, touching songs and honest answers. After five rounds, a loser will be chosen and the remaining two will have one last change to win the guest for them. Then the question will be asked, "May I kiss you?" which the guest will have to answer in all honesty. Welcome to May I Kiss You?"
...
The host's face faded and the intro-theme started.
"Any one who wants a beer or something else?" John asked, and he quickly got everyone what they requested.
"I'm rather enjoying this," Greg admitted as he started sipping from his second beer that night.
"We all can see, Lestrade, thank you for stating the obvious!" Sherlock mumbled.
"Sherlock Augustus Holmes, behave!" his brother scolded him. John and Greg chuckled softly before the intro-titles had ended. The music stopped and Philip's face filled the screen once more.
...
To be continued.
Next up: Touching Poems.