Here's some slight angst Jacinter! Loosely based off of the Netflix show Black mirror, season 2 episode 1. If you haven't seen this tv series, check it out!
It had only been a month since she was gone.
The wound was still fresh, the loss was still unbearable, but at least Jacin was not in shock anymore.
Would he break down when he saw her again? Finally, for over a month? A month that was equivalent to an eternity? How could he deal with another two days? A week? Another month?
Or worse, another year. Years.
Yes, he was sure he couldn't live without her for so long.
He would go as insane as she had before the bioelectricity chip was implanted in her.
While he was anxious and excited to finally see her again, he was quite nervous. He didn't know if such a device would work. He didn't know if he would only see her for a minute, a second, or just a day and never again a day in his life. The thought scared him. The thought shattered him in pieces.
Maybe you shouldn't do this, the others said. She only passed last month Jacin, and you're still healing.
"But I have to do this," Jacin whispered to himself. Or more so, to the voices in his head. Living in this mainly empty house while their daughter, Autumn, was at preschool drove him mad. It made him miss his wife even more.
He missed her so much. How was she his universe if he couldn't see her anymore? How was she his ocean current if he couldn't feel that push anymore? How was she his light if he could barely find the light anymore? He only saw unforgettable moments in them through their daughter. But he needed more. He needed to see her again.
The device was already implanted in the nape of his neck, ready to be activated. He had heard of a device that would let you see your loved one again in the flesh. One on one. Flesh to flesh. Skin to skin. At least, that's what it said.
Jacin hoped this was true, because he had paid a thousand for it. And for him to only find out that it was a false advertisement would shatter him even more.
So slowly, he extended his small, white remote and pressed the button that would let him see his beloved Winter again.
Activation complete. Winter is here.
His hand shook as he put the remote back in his jean pocket. He didn't see her appear in the kitchen or the attached living room, so the only reasonable place Jacin thought he would see her in was their bedroom.
Quietly yet vastly, he rushed to their bedroom they shared for only two years, and low and behold, she was there.
She was sitting on the edge of the bed, not looking at him. Her hair was covering the features he dearly missed from her, and he could tell by the way her body crouched in front of it that she was staring at their picture.
It was their wedding picture.
Jacin cleared his throat, still in shock that he was seeing her. Trying to swallow down the growing lump in his throat.
Winter gracefully turned her neck towards the sound, her luscious corkscrew hair turning with her.
She still looked the same. So beautiful.
She still had the same affect on him.
He feared with this device that it would make her look unfamiliar and ghostly like her body at the funeral. It was not like Winter. It wasn't even a body, it was a shell.
The fact that she didn't look like herself made Jacin cope even worse at the funeral. It made him sadder that he couldn't look at her like he used to one last time before she would be six feet under.
"Jacin."
That was another thing that scared him. Would her voice still be the same? Whimsical and relaxing? The calm before the never-coming storm and the calming, ocean waves?
It did. It still did.
"Trouble," he could only utter out lovingly.
She stood, walking towards him.
He started panicking. Would she leave before he could touch her? Before she could touch him? Before she was even an inch away from him?
This was all too scary and nerve-wrecking for him. But she was there. She was right in his personal space. Chest to chest.
And she whispers, "I missed you."
He cracked.
Shaking his head, he felt hot tears rolling down. "I missed you so much, Winter. I've been missing you a lot. You know our daughter - she's four now. And she looks like you more and more. And her eyes. Winter, her eyes… she has my eye on her left and yours on the right."
He blabbers on and on, and she reaches out her index finger to gently place it on his lips.
He gasps.
He can't help but shiver.
This was what he was afraid of.
Her touch.
Her touch was ghostly. It felt like cold air, not warm and inviting.
Jacin was a fool for thinking the device would be the exact replica of the person he knew and loved. He was a fool to think that technology could re-create everything, including a dead person.
All of the sudden, he felt wrong. Really wrong.
But he decided to enjoy the time while it lasted.
Since he couldn't have all five senses, he would enjoy the two or three he could have of her.
He decided to cherish the sight of her warm, amber eyes. He decided to engulf the sight of that curly, ebony hair. Those conflicting scars that he now loved to see for one last time. Her dark brown skin that looked golden under the beaming sunlight that reflected on their window. He decided to be comforted by her soothing voice and all the memories they were currently reflecting back together. He would make sure to remember all these things. Jacin only needed one more meeting to confirm all the small and big memories starting to fade of her regained again.
He heard his chip beep.
Was that the sign that she'd leave?
Jacin didn't want her to leave. No, not yet. There were so many other things he had to tell her. He couldn't let that slip by now. All the things he planned in his head and typed on his portscreen were becoming limited now.
Winter smiles knowingly at him, dropping her dark brown hand and slowly walking backwards.
"Please," he murmured loud enough for her to hear. "Don't go. I don't want you to go. I can't let you go. Not yet."
She softly shook her head. "My Jacin, I have to."
My Jacin.
"Remember the Princess and the Guard?" She asked.
He nodded urgently, hearing the beeping sound become more faster and louder in the back of his head.
"You will always be my Guard. Even if I'm in heaven."
Jacin broke down into tears. "And you will always be my princess. My beautiful princess. Even in heaven."
She gave him an air kiss. "I love you," she said finally, before disappearing in thin air.
"I love you too," Jacin said faintly.
Like that, she was gone.
He collapsed on the floor that would soon be soaked in his tears. Maybe it was better this way. He didn't know how much he could bare whenever she tried touching him. It wasn't her. It was her, but it wasn't actually her. It was a fake her. A duplicate. Not the real thing.
He finally realized what the others tried telling him when they said that it was too soon, that he shouldn't do it.
Because now he was left with an even more broken heart and a conflicted mind at what he just did. Winter didn't rise from the dead, her soul would always be with him deep down in his heart. This - this thing chipped in him was making a profit off of people's hurting and emotions. It wasn't the real them. You couldn't touch or hold them the same. You couldn't kiss them the same. It was true - nothing was the same once death does you apart.
It was a dream that came true.
He thought at first it would be a splendid one too.
But Jacin almost forgot that dreams could be nightmares, also.