OK so.. yeah don't own anyone or anything, again.. would like to own Jess but I think my guy is pretty darn close so.. Thanks for reviews and all
So here they are again, at it. So to say.
Fighting or.. the other thing they do.
He's snapping at her in line at the coffee shop then she's smacking him on a street corner and then they're yelling the whole way home til one of them finally jerks the other one into a kiss and he's inside her and they leave marks, every time.
He doesn't remember the last time they made love.
That it was gentle, or "loving"
They were going to kill each other.
"I think I need a break." He's shocked when it's him who says it, and so soon after…
"Like, for a soda?" She seems confused, then it dawns on her.
He watches wearily as red creeps up her face and her eyes fill.
"You want a break?" She whispers.
"I'm tired, Rory." He says quietly. "We're.. so.."
"Mean." She finishes.
"Yeah."
They sit there silently
for a bit and she starts to cry. He puts his arms around her and
smooths her hair.
"Shhh."
"Ironic," He thinks bitterly." couldn't love each other like this before.. this"
A month after she moves out, he sees her at a coffee shop. They haven't spoken in weeks.
It hurts. She looks beautiful.
"Hey." He says, moving near her.
"Oh, hey." She mumbles, tucking her hair behind an ear. She cut it.
"You cut your hair." He says dumbly.
"Yep." She clears her throat.
"It's nice." He lies. Because he likes it long. She knows it, must be some revenge thing.
"Oh, thanks." She wants him to go away.
"Ok, so see ya." He mutters
"Jess!" She blurts.
He turns around. She's teary eyed again.
"How are you?" She asks.
"Numb." He replies. Honestly.
"Yeah." She Sighs.
"Did we just not appreciate each other?" She says when he answers the phone. A day later.
"I dunno, something was wrong." He's tired.
"Do you.. miss, um..me?" She stutters.
"Of course." He snaps.
Snaps.
Again.
"I'm sorry." She whispers, hangs up.
He throws the phone.
She doesn't call again.
She gets married. It's in the society pages.
That was fast.. he thinks, and he never cries, though he wishes he could.
Luke calls him one day.
Rory's in a bad way. The husband took off, left her pregnant
and alone.
Jess isn't sure what he's supposed to do. He asks.
"She's a wreck, Jess," Luke finally says quietly. "She's asked for you."
For some reason, he leaves right away.
She's showing, he notices when he approaches the diner. Looking disheveled and her hair a mess and her face red and eyes bluer than anything.
She breaks down as soon as she sees him.
He chalks it up to hormones.
She falls into him and he holds onto her for a full minute which feels like coming home.
"I'm sorry, so sorry, I didn't, know,, he'd,, call.. it was in confidence." She's shaking.
Jess worries for the baby.
"Hey, I'm here. I love you." Jess whispers.
Jess freezes.
Where
the hell did that come from?
Offhandedly he wonders how they all heard him whisper.
The entire diner has
silenced and Lorelai, Luke, and practically the whole damn place is
staring at him.
Not Rory though. She's quieted and is just
holding onto him.
So..he decides he doesn't care anymore and just holds onto her back.
"I'm staying, for a while." Jess starts.
Luke heads him off.
"Of course., the apartment is all yours."
Jess nods.
Feels half sick.
Rory makes her way there the very first night he stays and he spoons her and tries to avoid her belly til she snatches his hand and places it right there.
He prays the thing doesn't kick or something.
It doesn't.
He knows this because he stays awake all night waiting.
The husband calls suddenly, checking on Rory, the baby, mostly her view on alimony.
Rory is tired and doesn't ask for anything.
Not even child support.
Jess admires this, it's so Lorelai.
Lorelai, looks nervous.
No one talks to him.
He goes to Doose's for whatever she's craving that isn't available at Luke's. Taylor never makes eye contact.. Not a shock since he's never trusted him since his thievery on first arriving to Stars Hollow a million years before.
He lets her scream at him for whatever he's done to her, from leaving the toilet seat up to dropping a pen, that rolled beneath the table, that could've damn well killed the child if she/he found it disassembled and found the spring, consumed and choked upon, is he trying to kill the kid? He's patient.
She's uncomfortable now and he's desperate for her to be OK again. He hasn't slept in a good 3 months waiting for the kicks, which come mostly at night and he waits for them.
He thinks they have an arrangement, he and the child of someone else, the baby lets him touch it through the thin wall of Rory's tummy and he pretends it belongs to he and she.
He likes to pretend at 1am that they made the baby together and on purpose and it's going to have her eyes and his hair. (Which of course must be gelled.)It's going to be spunky like her and love reading like both of them. She didn't want to find out the sex of it and he didn't ask why.
He sortof hopes it'll be another Gilmore Girl. Maybe, it'll love him like Rory used to.
He wakes up very early now daily and she's all belly, pressed against him. He's trying to pretend he's OK. He's actually sold his share in Truncheon to be here. He won't worry about money for a long time. He doesn't care that the baby isn't his anymore. He helped put the crib together while she cried inwardly watching. It took him and Luke a good part of a day arguing over the instructions. Lorelai and Rory laughed at them, but Rory came over once or twice and ran her hand through his hair, and he kissed baby through her belly.
He pretended she didn't look like she loved him because surely she didn't, and he ignored Lorelai's glance at Luke, and Luke's stupid subdued smile at him.
He still doesn't know why he's here. Besides loving her.. which shouldn't be enough to give up everything else.
"God, you suck!" She shouts one day.
Then he loses it.
"I'm so sick, and fucking tired of you screaming at me, every fucking day!! I've been here for way too long for you to treat me like this, I've let you abuse me and torment me and send me on errands and I've stayed in this stupid Mayberry town and dealt with the stares and the snickers and I love you for some fucking reason, Don't ask me why, Rory, and I'm here for you because I fucking love you and now I love a kid that isn't even mine and I'm sorry your husband left you pregnant, but I'm so tired, you know? I haven't slept in months, because of you and that damn belly and I can't do it anymore so you're just gonna have to accept that I suck and move on because you're fucking killing me and after it's all over you probably won't even care, your husband will probably come back and you'll live happily fucking ever after, I'm no good for that, am I?"
He's trembling now and trying hard to be angry and hoping to God he looks normal to her.
She's pale.
"Say something." He tries not to shout.
"Not yours." She finally whispers.
"What?"
"You. the baby,, it's not yours.." She's looking bad now.. he's feeling scared.
"Well, technically yeah." He rambles, trying to clean up his damn mess. ". I mean maybe I took that all on you know.. when I came back and said I love you and all. And God knows the Father wasn't there and-"
"What??!" She yells.
He stares at her.
"God, Jess, you've been here these last months…….. " She covers her mouth
"Um..are you OK?" He's feeling fucking guilty again.. always, how does she do that?" He wants to be angry but, he can't find the feelings he used to have when they were hateful when such a thing as a child, which is so much bigger than the both of them fits into the picture.
"You Idiot, Luke." She chokes.
He moves towards her but she cries out and he backs off. She wants him away.
"Shit." She grabs the wall, he grabs her,
His shoes are wet.
It takes him a full minute.
"Jess.."
"Oh.. Shit."
Her
water broke.
Her water broke.
Her fucking water broke,
She's in labor.. she's having the baby.
He wants to run then, to tell someone she's having the thing and wait for a call. But he can't. He can't leave her so instead he flips out his phone and calls 911, then calls Lorelai, calls Luke, repeats the some variation of the same message.
"Rory's water broke, she's here, in the apartment, she's in labor. The baby's coming. Now. " then he hangs up.
He sits with her, holds her, everyone shows, then they're taking her from him, putting her on a bed, putting her in an ambulance, and she's quiet the whole time, no screaming, no crying, the pain is there he's sure, but she's just looking, not around, not at anyone, not the workers telling her to be strong, that It'll be over soon, No.
She's looking at him
He's just looking back.
Luke drives behind the ambulance and he's not sure how he got in the car at all.
Coffee and more, Coffee,
A Doctor comes out, pulls Lorelai aside, Lorelai nods and points at Jess, who propels forward, The Doctor tells him if he wants to be there he must put on the scrubs, a mask, and now, it's happening,
Jess looks at Lorelai,
she's sobbing but telling him "Go, you, Go, Go."
He feels
like it's all in slow motion, he's putting on stupid cow feet
covers and a mask, a hat and then they're pulling him into the
room, and Rory's crying for him, holding out a hand, he rushes
over, she looks up at him as the nurses cry out for her to "push
now, now now, once more now."
She looks only at him.
"Oh, Jess."
And then comes the cry. It's so tiny, and pissed, and strong.
"Cut the cord?" A voice inqures, and he does.
He's trying to see. He's looking hard and Rory's sobbing and pulling him back.
"Jess, you have to know something.." She's wailing.
The doctors are worried and usher him out but not before he hears them say..
"A healthy baby Boy."
"A boy."
He chokes out to Lorelai and Luke and Lane and Zach and Emily and Richard and Christopher and every damn other person who showed at the hospital and his heart is breaking because all he did was hear the cry and he rips off the cap and gloves and starts to walk away and Luke is there slamming him against a wall.
"You don't run this time."
He says quietly.
"Mr. Mariano?!" A voice is asking for him.
The crowd parts. Jess walks numbly through.
The Doctor smiles kindly.
"Come see your son."
Jess wants to say. "Not mine." And is about ready to.. til he sees him
Tiny.
Perfect.
Blackest hair.
Olive skin.
Jess starts to shake.
Approaches Rory,
The husband was captain Arian nation. Blonde, blue eyes.
He tries to compute the Punnit square,
Knows better
Rory, is so tired, looks at him.
"Jess…"
"He's,, "
"Yeah,"
He wants to think she lies, it's too right, he's dreaming.
"Have a name?" The doctor asks.
"Oliver." She smiles, knowing there will be no argument.
"Oliver Lucas." Jess chokes.
"Yes." She already had it picked.
"He's,,," He is almost there,
Oliver opens his eyes.
They are huge and brown chocolate, warm and fierce and he looks at his mother,
Then to his father.
Jess is weak.
"Mine.."
"Ours." Rory reprimands gently.
"Ours."
Jess smiles through water and kisses their son,
kisses Oliver's mother.
They are never mean again.