Title: In Trouble
Summary: Merlin and Morgana are called into their son's Principal's office, because their son apparently said something inappropriate to another student. Summary sucks.
...
"Daddy, do you love mommy?"
Merlin's hand freezes as it comes into contact with the carton of milk on the counter. He turns his head towards his son and gives him a questioning look. "Of course I do... what makes you ask that?" He wonders.
James shrugs his little shoulders as he continues eating his breakfast oatmeal. "My teacher gave us homework to do, and I wanted to know if you loved mommy."
Merlin blinks, now curious as to what the hell kind of homework requires his son to ask him if he loves his wife. Just as Merlin begins to ask what exactly his homework was, Morgana breezes into the kitchen, grabs a power bar and the smoothie Merlin made for her before going to him and pulling his face towards her. "I'm late for work." She mumbles before pressing her lips against Merlin's. "You'll be okay to drop James off at school?"
Merlin grins at his wife and rolls his eyes. "Morgana, I'm a senior detective. I'm sure I'll be able to figure out how to get our son to school."
Morgana laughs "I would hope so, because if not, I'll have to spank you." She murmurs teasingly as she gives him one last peck on the lips before going over to their son and kissing the top of his head. "Have a great day at school, Jaybird."
Little James smiles and nods enthusiastically at his mother. "I will, mommy."
"Good." Throwing one last loving look at her husband, Morgana grabs her work file from the counter, wrapping it under her arm, and hurrying to the door. "I love you both!" She calls over shoulder, smiling to herself as her boys call back their mutual replies.
Merlin glances at his watch and gets up from his seat. "You ready for school, son?"
James nods as he jumps out of his seat and takes his empty bowl to the sink.
...
Merlin is right in the middle of a presentation when his cellphone starts ringing in his pocket. He checks it and sees his wife's name flash across the screen. Furrowing his eyebrows, he glances up at the occupants of the room before looking back down at his phone. All the lower level detectives shoot him dirty looks as he gestures at his partner and brother-in-law, Arthur, to take over.
Arthur takes the cue as Merlin leaves the room and answers the call.
"Hey." Merlin says casually over the phone. "Everything alright?"
"No." Morgana says in frustration. "It's your son."
Merlin sighs heavily and rolls his eyes. Every time their son does something bad, she calls him his son. Not theirs, just his... and it's not because she doesn't love their son when he does something bad. It's because their son did something bad and now it's automatically Merlin's fault. So what she's really saying is, 'Our son has done something bad, and it's all your fault!' Merlin rubs his forehead as he paces around in front of the conference room. "What's he done now?"
"His principal called me about five minutes ago, saying that James has been sent to her office for saying inappropriate things to another student."
Merlin groans loudly. For someone who is barely seven years old, their son sure does get into a lot of trouble. "So do you want me to pick him up or something?"
"No..." Morgana trails off, and Merlin hears her car engine starting. "The principal wants us to both come in to her office."
Merlin's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Now?"
"Yes, now." Morgana replies.
Merlin resists the urge to groan and sighs heavily instead. "I'm assuming whatever James said must be bad."
Morgana agrees, "Yes... so meet me at James' school in 15 minutes."
Merlin wants to protest, knowing that he's going to get his arse reamed by his boss for leaving in the middle of a top secret case presentation. But he'll take his chances. His boss may be a scary man, but no one is scarier than an angry Morgana. With that thought in mind, Merlin nods, "Fine. I'll see you soon."
...
He arrives at the school just a few minutes before Morgana does, and he waits for her as she walks up towards the entrance where he's standing. Smiling at her, he pulls the door open for her.
Morgana grins and gives him a quick peck on his cheek. "Thanks, Love... now let's go see what your son has done now."
Merlin laughs as he follows her down the hallway and towards the Principal's office. "What do you think he said?" He asks as he falls into step beside her.
Morgana shrugs, "I have no idea, but it must be bad if they want us both to be here."
Merlin nods and takes his wife's hand in his. This wouldn't be the first time they've been called by their son's school about something James had done or said. The boy has no filter and always says what's on his mind; a trait that Merlin believes James had inherited from Morgana. Morgana disagrees with him about that.
As they walk into the Principal's office, the tall, slim woman stands up and shoots a disapproving look at the both of them. "Mr. and Mrs. Emrys." She nods, "thank you for coming..." she then gestures towards the chairs across from her desk. "Please have a seat."
The couple both do as they're told, and Merlin looks around for their son.
"I'll be right back." The principal says hurriedly before leaving the room.
Merlin glances at his wife. "Where's James?"
Morgana glares at her husband, "We both just got here, Merlin. How am I supposed to know?" she hisses at him.
The young detective sighs and rolls his eyes. Whenever Morgana's upset, she starts taking her anger out on him. He doesn't really mind though. It's his job to be her punching bag. It's his job to be whatever she needs him to be. But for once, he just wants her to bloody take some fault in whatever James did. He doesn't tell her that though.
When the Principal comes back, she's holding a small folder, but still no James.
Merlin decides to ask, "Excuse me, Mrs. Thomas…" he smiles, "Where is our son?"
"He's in class, Mr. Emrys."
Merlin exchanges a look with his wife before he turns his attention back to the Principal. "Okay, but isn't he supposed to be here for this? So he can be personally told of what he did wrong?"
"Oh, he didn't do anything wrong, Mr. Emrys."
At this, Morgana chimes with a confused expression on her face. "Well then why are we here?" she asks incredulously. "You told me that James had said something inappropriate to another student."
The Principal nods, "Yes, but the fault isn't his…" she trails off and then shoots another disapproving look at them. "James is just a young, curious boy who is in the process of learning."
"That still doesn't explain why you called us both to be here." Merlin says with barely concealed annoyance.
"Because this meeting is for you two… not James." The Principal reveals.
At this, the young couple exchange even further looks of confusion. Morgana huffs and stares at the Principal. "Care to explain what that means, Mrs. Thomas?"
"Of course, Mrs. Emrys." the Principal says with an obviously fake smile. "This morning, James' instructor told her class to turn in their homeworks, and the instructor said that she had worried about James' homework. And then during recess, little Alison told her teacher, Miss Applebaum, that James had said something to her that he claims to be a nice thing to say, but Alison disagrees with."
Merlin shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows in curiosity. "What exactly did James say?"
Mrs. Thomas then opens the folder she had brought with her, and pulls up a single paper. "This is James' homework that was due this morning."
At this, Merlin leans forward, remembering what James had asked him earlier. "What is it?" He asks. Morgana is silent, listening intently for the conclusion of what James had said.
The Principal then hands the paper to Merlin, who takes it and reads it to himself. Morgana leans over, reading the paper to herself as well. Across the top of the paper, are the words,
The Spy Writer: List 5 nice things that people usually say to people they love when they are not aware of the people around them. You must be discreet.
Merlin and Morgana both mentally shrug at that, seeing nothing wrong with the assignment. That is, until they read what James wrote.
1.) Get on top.
2.) Go faster.
3.) Don't stop.
4.) I'm coming!
5.) I love you so much.
References: Mommy and Daddy.
Morgana and Merlin's eyes are bulging out of their skulls as the heat rises up their necks, and blushes form on their pale cheeks. Morgana groans lightly and lays a hand over her eyes, not wanting to see the look on the Principal's face. Merlin however, was half embarrassed, half amused by his son's answers. Without batting an eyelash, he looks up at the Principal and shrugs his shoulders. "We had a Pilates session." he lies through his teeth.
"There's more, Mr. Emrys." The Principal says snappishly.
Merlin and Morgana both look down at the paper again, and this time, it's Merlin who groans.
Evidence:
Mommy and daddy are in their bedroom, so I sneaked out of my room like a spy and listened through the wall in the hallway.
I heard daddy say #1 to mommy.
I heard mommy say #2 to daddy.
I heard mommy say #3 to daddy.
I heard daddy say #4 to mommy.
I heard both mommy and daddy say #5 to each other.
Asked daddy if he loves mommy. He said yes.
"Okay, so maybe we were having make up sex." Merlin sighs.
"Merlin!" Morgana glares at her husband.
"What? It's kind of true-"
"Mr. and Mrs. Emrys, I wasn't born yesterday, so I know these things already." Mrs. Thomas says in exasperation.
"Oh for Christ's sake." Merlin groans. "What kind of homework is this anyway?!" he gets up out of his seat and paces in front of the desk as he begins shaking the paper at the Principal. "The spy writer?" he asks incredulously. He ignores Morgana as she tries to tell him to be quiet. "I mean, what the bloody hell is that?!" he turns the paper around and reads the heading again. "I sent my son here to learn something, and his teacher is trying to turn him into some creepy little spy?" with that, Merlin slams the paper down on the Principal's desk, and glares at the woman. "You should be ashamed of yourselves."
Morgana could not believe how Merlin was able to turn the situation around towards the teacher and Principal, even though they were right. Perks of being a Senior detective, she supposes. But still, this is entirely her and Merlin's fault for being so careless about making sure James was sound asleep before they went at each other in their bedroom. She groans and face palms herself. God, their son had heard them! That is just… he's scarred for life and he doesn't even know it! Sighing heavily, she looks up at the Principal and clears her throat. "Mrs. Thomas, I think we can all agree that this isn't the most… conventional kind of homework. Now, I do admit that my husband and I should've been a little more discreet with our activities, but… I also agree with my husband about this particular homework assignment." she gets up out of her chair and looks at the paper. She inwardly cringes at the sight of James' list. "Telling our kids to spy on people to see what they would say to other people they love?" she chuckles humorlessly. "Not exactly something I'd want to read about."
The Principal sighs and nods, "I agree."
"Right." Merlin says with a small cough. "Glad we've sorted that out."
Morgana glares at her husband, who hasn't been any help whatsoever. "Merlin, be quiet."
"Yes, dear." Merlin nods and takes his seat again.
Morgana continues with a sigh, "So, I suppose what we'll do, is sit James down tonight, and explain to him that he shouldn't go around spying on people because it's not right… we'll also explain to him that his list was without context, and we'll see what we can come up with tonight for a new list… is that okay with you, Mrs. Thomas?"
After a few contemplative moments, the Principal finally nods. "Yes, I suppose that would be fine."
"Thank you." Morgana smiles, and then turns to her husband with a smirk. "We'll be leaving now, unless…" she turns back to the Principal, "unless there's something else you wished to discuss with us?"
The Principal shakes her head and rises from her chair, crossing the room to open her door for the couple. "Thank you for coming." She shakes the couples hands on their way out, and then shuts her door behind them. Not a second later, her door pops open again and Merlin sticks his head through the crack.
"Mrs. Thomas?"
"Yes, Mr. Emrys." The principal replies with a questioning gaze.
"You said that James had said something inappropriate to another student?"
The Principal nods, "Yes... Alison told your son for the first time today that she likes him."
"And?"
"And I don't appreciate your son telling my daughter that he would hope she likes him, otherwise, he'd have to spank her."
At this, Merlin's eyes widen into saucers. He knows his wife is listening in behind him, so he ducks his head and offers an apologetic look to the principal. "I do apologize. My wife didn't mean to say that to me toda-" a hand closes over his mouth as Morgana pushes her head in beside his.
"We're really sorry, Mrs. Thomas. We will speak to James as soon as he gets home." With a quick wave, Morgana pulls her husband out the doorway and closes it firmly.
Merlin begins snickering lightly to himself, earning him a smack in his arm. "Ow!" he yelps and glares at his wife.
"It's not funny, Merlin." Morgana hisses with an eyeroll.
Merlin only laughs harder, "Oh come on, that was hilarious!"
"No it wasn't!" Morgana says heatedly.
Merlin huffs and stares at her. "Not even a little?"
"Our son heard us having sex!" Morgana hisses under her breath.
Merlin sighs and goes quiet for a moment. "In his defense, I'm pretty sure he thought we were playing or something."
"It's still not funny." Morgana snaps.
"Fine." Merlin groans. "We'll talk to him when he gets home."
Morgana nods, but doesn't say anything as they continue down the hallway and out the door.
Before they go to their separate cars, Merlin pulls his wife towards him and kisses her promptly before letting her go. "See you at home in a few?"
Morgana couldn't help the smile that spreads across her face at that. "See you then."
Merlin offers a wide smile before walking to his car.
"Merlin!" Morgana calls.
The man stops and turns to look at her. "Yes, Love?"
Morgana quickly looks around the parking lot, making sure they're alone out there before looking back to her husband and calling as softly as she can without being too quiet for Merlin to hear. "I'll be home about half an hour earlier than usual." she says with a suggestive look on her face. "So we might have about a good hour to ourselves before James gets home."
Merlin immediately begins grinning giddily as he nods to her. "I'll see you soon then. I have a presentation to close, and a boss to lie to before I take the rest of the day off." with a wink, the man disappears into his truck, his wife doing the same with her Range Rover.
Later on in the night, when they've made sure that James was fast asleep, the couple sneak downstairs into the living room, and cuddle on the couch.
After their earlier conversation with their son, the boy assured his parents that he hadn't meant to listen in on them... he had only heard them from his room and decided that it was a good time as any to complete his homework assignment.
Merlin kisses his wife and smiles against her lips. "You sure about James' new list?"
Morgana snorts, "No... but it's at least more appropriate than the last one."
...
When little James Emrys hands his new and improved list in to his teacher, the woman reads it carefully before smiling at the little boy.
"This is a wonderful list, James... how did you manage to make this new list?"
James smiles widely, "My mom and dad helped me."
"Oh?" The teacher frowns slightly. "How so?"
James only shrugs, "I guess I only heard parts of their conversation in the room, so they just filled in the blanks for the top four."
"Ah," the teacher chuckles to herself as she excuses James to his seat. Glancing down at the list again, she inwardly chuckles.
Take Two-
1.) Get on top of your work.
2.) Go faster when you get ready.
3.) Don't stop believing in yourself.
4.) I'm coming home where I belong.
5.) I love you so much.
"Good save, Mr. and Mrs. Emrys." The teacher laughs.
…
A/N: Hope you guys like this one! No worries, I'm writing other new stories and ideas, including a few requests I've gotten on PM. I will be updating "Servant in Shining Armor" soon! On an unrelated note though, has anyone seen the new "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter" movie?! Because Gwaine (Eoin) is in it! And it was pretty good! Thanks for reading and leave your thoughts, guys!
-McDiggin'It