(A/N: I blame Kenna, aka GoodorEvil132, for this fic. I'll put how this fic came to be at the bottom.)

Warnings Include: Shounen Ai, grammar mistakes, maybe spelling as well. Oh, and possible lose of brain cells. You were warned.

Hiccup look around warily as he and Jack entered the weirdly empty cafe. "Hey Jack?"

His boyfriend of 6 years turned to him "Yes Hiccup?"

"Don't you think that-" 'there should be more people here?' Was what Hiccup was going to say, but he was interrupted by Jack saying,

"Hey, that table seems nice!" Jack raced to a table near the window. The table was cream colored while the chairs were a soft pink. There was a vase with assorted flowers in the middle, and there was candles lit on each side of the table.

Hiccup sat down stiffly "Why this one Jack?" It was weird how there was no one there, despite being lunch hour.

"Huh? Because it's nice." Jack said absentmindedly

"Did you even reserve this table?!" Hiccup accused

"I reserved the entire cafe, Hiccup, this is just one table" Jack shrugged

"Jack! Do you have no sense when it comes to money?"

"I have no sense when it comes to you, darling"

As they continued to bicker, something said,

"Punzie, they're adorable!" a small voice, much to small for the two humans to hear, said.

Looking, erm... Listening closely, one would realize that the flowers were talking to together.

"Punzie" the yellow daisy laughed softly. A passing human would have blamed the movement on the wind. "Yes, Merida, they're very cute" She giggled.

"Rapunzel, do kindly shut up." A black snapdragon yawned "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Aw, shut your trap Toothless" Merida, a red gerbera, chuckled "We know you're interested"

The black snapdragon, Toothless, couldn't deny it as he raised his head to inspect the two new humans.

The brunette, what was his name again? Ah, right. Hiccup seemed to be admonishing the white head, who in return seemed to brush it off, laughing. The white head then leaned forward over the vase and...

"Kya! They're kissing!" A new voice chirped

"Toothiana, you don't need to tell us things we can see with out own eyes." Anorher, more deep voice grumbled.

Toothiana, a rather vivid Bird of Paradise, turned to the offender and replied "Aster," She told the gray hydrangea "I was saying it for the people who can't see"

"Like me!" A muffled voice mumbled.

"Who?" Came the generalized reply.

"Me! Elsa!" A snowdrop burst out "What's happening?! Oh, he's cute" She immediately commented on seeing Jack.

"But he's taken." An old jolly voice came from a poinsettia.

"North!" Everyone laughed "Where's Sandy?"

A yellow poppy rose out and waved from side to side, as if it just awoke. Knowing Sandy, that's probably what happened.

"So the entire gang's here? How pleasant." A smooth, yet unpleasant voice rose from the darkness of the vase.

"Pitch!" the other residents of the vase all but growled "What are you doing?!"

"Ah. Nothing much..." He drawled "Just trying to ruin your fun."

He rose up and with weirdly dark grace, threw himself on Jack's hand, which was resting near the vase.

"Ow!" Jack yelped into their kiss, which was about to deepen into something not so innocent.

When Hiccup gave him a weird look, Jack sat down, suddenly self-conscious.

"What?" He shrugged while picking up Pitch, no, the black rose that unfortunately pricked him.

"This rose fell out of the vase and picked me." He whined "Look! I'm bleeding!"

It was true, and Hiccup could see the drop of blood trickling from a pinhole sized wound right below Jack's index finger's knuckle.

"Hiiiiiiiccuuuuuuuuuupppppp..." Jack whined again, thrusting his fist into Hiccup line of sight.

"Lick it." Hiccup blinked owlishly.

"You want me to what?" He asked, a strange look on his face.

"Lick it." Jack repeated.

"I will not do such a thing." Hiccup grumbled.

"Why not?" Jack cried.

"Oh no. Did Pitch just ruin their relationship?" Rapunzel asked worriedly.

Just then, a flush that would put Merida to shame engulfed Hiccup's face as he slowly, hesitantly leaned forward, and with the tip of his tounge, licked the wound.

If Jack and Hiccup were flowers, they'd go deaf from the amount of sqealing that came from the girls in the vase alone.

"OHMIGOSH! THAT WAS SO CUTE!" Screamed one

"THIER RELATIONSHIP IS TOO GOOD FOR PITCH TO RUIN!" Yelled another

"THIS IS ADORABLE!" Squealed a third

"ASDFGHJKL...IT'S WONDERFUL. I'M DYING." The last one cried

And the poor males had to listen to it all. Though, in a sense, they were happy for the two males too, they didn't... Vocalize it as much.

Pitch, of course, was simmering with anger. He continued to simmer as Hiccup gently picked him up to inspect him.

"Hmm... A black rose. Death. Farewell. A very gloomy flower in a love cafe." He told Jack.

"Who cares?" Jack grinned, "I hate it, cuz' it pricked me. But I'm not mad at it, cuz' it made you do something cute."

Hiccup blushed again, though he groaned and said "I'm never doing it again. I'm blushing so hard, my face feels like its on fire and the tips of my ears are tingling, like they're asleep. Ears don't fall asleep Jack." He buried his face in his hands.

Jack walked around and put his arms around Hiccup's stomach. He stood there for a while, waiting until Hiccup relaxed into his arms. He then bit the top of Hiccup's left ear lightly.

Hicupp yelped as he jumped up, face blazing, as he looked at Jack accusingly. Said boy held up his arms in surrender, as he chirped "But Hiccup, you've never felt your face on fire!"

Hiccup stopped and blinked, before looking back at Jack "You know, you've never blushed, so you don't know."

Then he went on to explain it "It feels as if you just boiled a pot of water, and as the steam comes up, you place your face in front of it for a long while. It feels as if you plunged your face into almost boiling water."

Jack whistled "You do the most crazy stuff, ya know?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes as he clarified "I didn't plunge my face into hot water. I just turned the shower too hot."

Jack smirked as he came closer and closer untill Hiccup was trapped between him and the table.

"Hmm...? When was this? After all... Ever since we dated it didn't happen. I would know. After all..." He learned in to whisper it into Hiccup's ear

"I took them with you." He purred.

"Should we possibly look away?" Aster asked the rest of the frozen flowers.

"Of course not!" Merida, Elsa, and Toothiana replied "It's just getting good"

Rapuzel made a small chirping sound as she buried her face in North's petals "I think we should leave them alone" she sqeaked

Toothless pulled Aster to the side and began making out as best as flowers could. Technically, mixing pollen and touching stigmas may not seem very sexy, but to a flower, it was very erotic. So leave them be.

Sandy fell asleep.

Pitch decided to ruin the love making one more time.

This time, Hiccup yelped.

The suddenness of the sound jerked Jack out from whatever he was doing as he immediately began apologizing.

"Sorry, did I scare you? Aren't you use to my advances now? -"

"Jack, its the rose" Hiccup laughed as he grabbed the black rose and shoved it towards Jack.

"Seriously?" Jack laughed along with him. He grabbed Pitch, and turned around, back to Hiccup and the vase.

"Wonder what he's doing." Elsa said

"I think I know" Merida replied, "I'm planning to do the same."

Jack tuned back around and handed back the rose.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third" Jack coughed as he got on one knee "Are you willing to become mine?"

Hiccup looked down at Pitch as he saw the ring, nestled in the middle if the black, velvety petals.

"Yes, Jackson Overland Frost," He smirked at the withering look Jack sent him "I will marry you."

"Took you long enough!" Toothiana yelled.

"Toothiana, we didn't even know them half an hour ago," Rapunzel laughed "What do you mean 'Took you long enough'?"

"Now, Merida, what were you talking about? " Elsa asked

Merida spluttered as she took out her center petal "Elsa Arendelle, will you, uh... Will you make hybrid flowers with me?!"

"What a weird way to phrase it!" Elsa laughed. As Merida tuned away sadly, she quickly added "But yes, we'll make hybrids together."

"I guess this is a good time to propose as well" Aster sighed "Toothless, uh, you wanna...?"

"Ugh, shut up. Yes, yes. Yes I do." Toothless cut him sighed."How lovely. I'm going to sleep."

"You do that." Everyone replied as the covered him as soon as Hiccup placed him back in the vase, the ring on his finger already.

"Did anyone realize that Pitch was, in a sense, their ring boy?" Someone piped in, as they all started laughing at the irony of it all.

"You know, I like these flowers." Jack said "Let's take them and plant them Hiccup."

"Fine" The new husband sighed "I like them too."

The End

Five years Later:

Hiccup looked on fondly at the black hydrangea, the red snowdrops, and all the other flowers in the garden.

"Hey Jack?" He asked his husband, who was lounging on the couch.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Jack laughed as Hiccup hit him lightly.

"There's always certain hybrids." Hiccup said thoughtfully "There's never black poppies, or yellow roses. The snowdrops are never gray, always white or red. It's the same each year."

"No need to worry on it," Jack replied, turning to a magazine "I love our garden."

"Me too."

"Ewww..." A voice out the window said "Black poppies? Does he want Pitch to make out with Sandy?"

"Maybe not Pitch," Rapunzel replied to Merida "Maybe he's talking about Toothless."

"That's even worse" Aster grumbled "Toothless is mine. We already made black hydrangeas and gray snapdragons, what more does he want?"

"Yellow roses..." Toothiana mumbled "No way, Rapunzel and Pitch?"

"Ewww... Gross" Came the collected reply.

"Well, they're happy with their garden," North motioned to Hiccup and Jack, "And I am too."

"Gray snowdrops..." Toothless muttered "Elsa and Aster?"

"No way!" Both yelled, Elsa clinging to Merida and Aster to Toothless "I'm only for this flower only!"

If you could hear it, the garden was very joyful, everyone laughing except for Pitch.

The Real End

(A/N: You may be thinking, "Lol, WTF did I just read? Jack and Hiccup on a date, flowers talking... what the actual flip?

Yeah... I'm sorry for your brain cells, but I don't regret it. So, without further ado, here's all the flowers and why:

Aster: Gray Hydrangea: Hydrangeas mean a lot of things, but one of the meanings are hope, for the guardian of hope. ASDFGHJKL I JUST FOUND THAT THERE'S A FLOWER CALLED ASTER. KILL ME NOW.

Elsa: Snowdrop: Purity, hope, rebirth, consolation or sympathy. Picked this one because... Hello? SNOWdrop? Who else would it be if Jack is human?

Rapunzel: Yellow daisy: It symbolizes innocence and purity. AND I JUST REMEMBERED THAT RAPUNZEL IS A FLOWER. WHY?

Merida: Red gerbera: strong, bold

North: Poinsettia: Christmas flower. Duh.

Pitch: Black rose: Death or hatred.

Sandy: Yellow poppy: A flower normally associated with sleep.

Toothiana: Bird of paradise: joyfulness, excitement, wonderful anticipation (picked this one because it has lots of colors and is shaped like a bird, and that reminds me of Toothiana).

Toothless: Black Snapdragon: I know that they're actually a dark red, but admit it, BLACK snapDRAGON. Who else besides Toothless? Oh and it signifies deception and graciousness. You know, Night Fury?

Now, how this weird (emphasize on the weird) fanfic came to be... I'll just copy and paste the chat:

Bold: Our names Underline: Our texts

Me: Don't you sort of want to learn the language of flowers?

Me: Sends a pic of yellow roses(: Friendship)

GoodorEvil132: I'd rather learn the language of animals, but seeing what flowers would say would be interesting.

Me: Seriously Kenna?

Me: I'm dying.

Me: I need to quote that some time.

GoodorEvil132: I can just imagine them talking to each other about couples that pass by them, and saying, "I ship them"

Me: I can imagine a red rose being picked by a guy and it would whisper seductively: Who's the lucky girl?" and all the other roses would laugh, though the ignorant human would think its the wind.

GoodorEvil132: Yup.

GoodorEvil132: And now I have an idea for a fic.

GoodorEvil132: Thanks a lot.

(Go to her account to see her fic. You'll at least gain the brain cells you lost reading this.)

Me: Same

Uhh... You're still here? Maybe you can review?