Practice Makes Perfect.
Writer: Invader Johnny.
Plot: Even the great Jade West needs to master a certain task at hand, but with Cat helping her, she'll either give up completely or murder her best friend by the end of the night, Jori relationship and Cade Friendship.
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, the show belongs to Dan Schneider and this idea is made for entertainment purposes only so DON'T SUE ME, OK?!
Author's Notes: Before reading the story, I want to make it clear that this is NOT a part of my "50 Shades of Jori" saga, if anything this is a completely different storyline, you'll see what I mean soon enough.
Anyways on with the story…
"Cat, what in the blue fuck are you doing?"
The redhead gasped in horror at her friend "Jadey said a swear!"
Said Goth started to massage her temple in exasperation "Cat, I am so not in the mood!"
The petite redhead giggles happily "I'm sorry, but what you're about to do is so cute."
"Cute my Snow White ass!"
"You have Snowwhite's butt?" Cat asked amazed "I envy Tori for being able to see it then!"
She then crossed her arms, pouting like a child who was denied her last piece of candy.
"Which reminds me."
Cat got a piece of Bibble out of her bra, ready to eat it, the candy so close to her mouth.
"NO!"
Jade threw the sweet treat out of her friend's hand.
"My Bibble!"
"You are not allowed to eat that Cat!" Jade hissed "You remember what happened last time?"
"Um... No?"
"Cat" Jade said ominously "Don't lie to me."
The redhead lowered her head in shame "I ended up eating the ring you planned on proposing to Tori when I mistook it for Bibble by accident."
"That's right!" The pale brunette hissed angrily "And we wasted a hell of a lot of time in the hospital just so the doctors could shove it out of your ass!"
"You still got it back" Cat said meekly.
"That's not the point!" Jade snarled "I had to return it because I wasn't about to propose to Vega with a ring that took a jolly ride down your intestines! She surely would have said no!"
"You don't know that!" The redhead replied back "Tori loves you a lot, I'm sure she would've said yes even if proposed to her with a gumball ring."
"Well I'm not about to take any chances! So no candy for you!"
"Phooey!"
"Now sit down Cat!" Jade ordered "We have a lot of work to do!"
"Gimme a second Jadey" Her friend said "I just Gotta grab one thing."
"Well hurry up then!"
The redhead went to her room for about five minutes (Much to Jade's growing impatience) and when she came back the pale woman gaped exasperated.
"Cat... What the hell?"
Said redhead smiles mischievously "You like it?" She asked "I thought it would make things easier for you."
Cat was wearing a wig, the same Color as Tori's long hair to be precise, to make things even more awkward, she was also wearing a similar set of clothes that Tori wore when she humiliated Ryder.
Which always drove Jade crazy.
"Cat... There better be a good reason behind you appearance."
"No no no no." Her friend said while moving her finger patronisingly "I'm not Cat, I'm Tori."
"I didn't sign up for this!"
"But Jade, you want to propose to Tori, right?"
"You know I do but..."
"And you want the night to come to be perfect, right?"
"Yeah but..."
"And you want her to say yes, am I right or am I right?"
"Yes Cat!" The Goth hissed "A thousand times yes! I fucking want to put the ring onto Vega's finger and then eat her face until we can't breathe anymore but you dressing up as her isn't going to help... I asked you to help me propose to her, not to impersonate my girlfriend like a cheap copy!"
"I'm not impersonating her" Cat said "For tonight I am her!"
She then sat down on Jade's lap.
"So tell me Jade... Do you love me?" Cat said sexily.
Which made the thespian's face turn into different shades of red.
"Cat... Get off me before I kill you!" Jade hissed "Only My girl is allowed on my lap!"
"Come on Jadey, I'm trying to help you." Cat whined "Just relax and pretend I'm Tori, this is going to be a pre-show to the most important night of your life, if you're tense when you take Tori out as you are now then the evening will end before it evens starts!"
The Goth took a deep breath, reluctantly she decided to follow Cat's lead.
"Yes Vega, I love you very much."
"Even if I'm related to Trina?"
"Your sister sucks!"
"Jade!" Cat admonished, getting up from her friend's lap "You can't say that!"
"The hell I can't! I do it all the time! In fact I told Vega that seventeen times last week!"
"But if you're about to ask her to marry you then you're going to have to see Trina regularly." She pointed out "Couldn't you try to get along? And not be mean to her?"
"Fine, I'll lay off the Trina bashing for the night." Jade agreed "Let's try again... Well Vega, Trina sucks but at least she sucks less that when I meet her."
"That's... Better?"
"Sit down Vega." Jade said gently "Let's order something."
"Um... Jade?"
"What now Cat?" The pale brunette growled menacingly.
"Why don't you call Tori by her name rather than her last name?" She suggested "It would make the night more romantic."
"Because that's my nickname for her, Cat!"
"That's not a nickname, it's her name... Come on Jadey, you can do it!" Cat encouraged "Try it."
"To... To... Tor... Tor... Vega."
"Try again."
"To..., To... To... Tori."
"There you go!" Cat congratulated her friend as she sat down in front of her, a table set for both of them in a pretend date atmosphere. "I'm sure she'll love you calling her by her name when you propose to her Jadey."
"Call me Jadey again and I'll stab you with my scissors!" Jade threatened darkly "Understand?"
"That's another thing." The redhead said fearfully "Maybe you... Shouldn't take your scissors with you in the night you ask Tori to marry you."
"WHAT?"
"I mean, what if you get mad at the waiter or something?" Cat asked while trying to get her chair a bit away from her scary friend "That doesn't spell out a romantic atmosphere when you pop the question."
"Why don't you just ask me to chop of my own arm!" Jade hissed "Vega got me a very shiny pair of scissors on our first anniversary as a couple and I plan on taking them with me when I ask her to marry me and do you know why?"
"Because they're pointy and deadly?"
"Yes, but more importantly, those scissors said how much she loved me and I'm not about to ask her to marry me without them! They're symbolic... Now stop being scared and let's move on with this, we're getting this thing right if we have to spend all night working on my proposal."
"Ok, you can take your scissors." Cat relented "But you promise you won't stab anyone with them?"
"Trust me Cat, the last thing I want is to end up in jail after I pop the question."
"Kay, Kay." The redhead said, putting her fake hair behind her shoulder "My Jade, you look pretty."
"Well Ve... Tori, you don't look half bad yourself."
"Thank you." Cat gave her a wide smile "Want to dance?"
"No."
"Jade!" She admonished "You have to say yes then take Tori into your arms!"
"If she asks, which I'm sure she will, then yeah I'm going to say yes Cat" Jade snapped "But I'm not about to dance with you! I only plan on dancing with Tori and no one else! Got it?"
"I... I... Got it."
"Good."
"Ok, umm let's move on." Cat said nervously "Let's pretend that the waiter is here and he asks us what we want to order."
"Whatever"
Cat grabs one of the coloring books she had put on the table to serve as "menus" for this rehearsal, while Cat had one of Frozen, Jade had one of Invader Zim since it was one of the few things she wouldn't chop into itty bitty pieces with her scissors.
in fact, surprisingly she even colored a few of the pages.
"Yum, it all looks so good Jade." Cat said in a voice that was meant to represent Tori "What do you recommend?"
The Thespian narrowed her eyes "Why are you asking me, I'm not your mom, you can order whatever you want!"
"But, shouldn't I look after my figure?"
Jade's eyes took a dangerous glare "Are you calling Vega fat, Cat?!"
"Whaaa... No! Of course not Jadey!" The redhead denied quickly "She has a nice body!"
"Ohh, now you want to fuck my girlfriend?!" Jade bellowed, standing up "How long have you had the hots for her?!"
"Jade! Jade!" Cat said her friend's name quickly while moving her arms wildly "It isn't like that! I have a boyfriend, remember! I'm straight and I would never look at Tori like a piece of Bibble!"
The Goth sat down, her evil eye never wavering "That better be the case, Valentine."
Cat then stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm getting a clean pair of undies."
Jade didn't stop her.
Several minutes later (And a new set of underwear) Cat sat down on a different chair.
"Kay, Kay Jadey." She said, clapping excitedly "Let's say dinner already happened, have you thought of how you're going to propose to Tori?"
"Yes."
"Ohhh... Gimme the details... I want to know, I bet it's really cute!"
"I simply shove it to her face and say "Vega... You marry me and marry me now!"
"Jade, you can't do that! Cat frowned "It isn't cute, it isn't romantic and I don't think anyone would say yes to that!"
"What do you know?" Jade grunted "You're not dating me!"
"True but I do know what a girl wants and I don't think Tori would want her engagement ring thrown at her..." Cat said "Come on Jadey, try something from the heart."
Jade puts her hands over her eyes. "Cat, you don't get it, Vega and I have our own thing, there are a million ways I could ask her to marry me, I could take her on a plane to Paris or on a night walk down the beach! But that's not me and she knows it! If I'm going to pop the question it will be in a way I'm most comfortable at and more importantly she's comfortable too! A restaurant is the most cliche of places and I sure won't take her to one when I ask the most important question of my life, you think I'm going to go on one knee and ask her to be my wife like any other person? NO! Tori Vega is the best thing that ever happened to me and this rehearsal is a joke Cat! I dunno what I was thinking by even agreeing to this crazy shenanigan of yours! I'm Jade fucking West and Vega will be my wife and do you know why?! Because I don't care how many times I plan this, I don't care if I screw this,mince or twice or a million times! She's the woman I love and I want to grow old with her and whenever the times comes I'll be ready to give her this ring!"
Jade stopped her ranting to show Cat the engagement ring.
"... And then I'll ask her, Tori Vega... Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
Cat had a wide smile, so big in fact that it threatened to cut her in half.
"Why the fuck are you smiling about?"
"Yes."
Jade froze right then and there, slowly turning around to see her girlfriend in the front door, tears in her eyes and her arms over her heart.
"Vega."
"A million times yes Jade."
"How... How long have you been standing there?"
"Since you went bezerk when you assumed Cat called me fat."
"And you couldn't have said anything before I made an ass out of myself?"
"I'm sorry, but you're so cute when you're mad." Tori said "And even cuter when you're nervous."
"I wasn't nervous." Jade denied.
Tori chuckles "If you say so baby."
She then walked over to her pale girlfriend, her smile never wavered "So?"
"So what?"
"I'm waiting."
"For what?"
Tori extended her hand "Is big bad Jade West too scared to put the ring on my finger?"
The Goth grumbled "The hell I am." Under her breath.
But she still complied and put the ring onto her fiancé finger.
"You know I didn't technically ask you."
"I don't care." Tori shot back, staring lovingly at Jade "What matters is that you do want to be with me and I do to."
The Half-Latina spontaneously grabbed the pale Goth and began to kiss her passionately.
"Aww." Cat gushed.
Then Jade threw her out.
"Hey! That's not fair" The redhead complained "It's my house!"
Cat then walked away to Robbie's, since clearly she wasn't getting back inside.
"Last time I help Jori."
Do tell, did you guys enjoy the story?
Yes, Cat called Jade and Tori, Jori, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has made her say that but I think this time I made her a bit smart by not uttering the ship's name in front of Jade, that wouldn't have ended well for our petite little redhead.
Now if sure that by now you all figured it out that I have quite a fondness for Jori proposals, in fact this is the third time I cone up with such an event, the first being in my fic "Cancelled" the second in "Q&A With Jade West" and now this one, it just never gets old, specially when the question pops up quite randomly.
One of these days I Gotta write down a Jori wedding, heh... Am I right?
The idea for this was when I saw Tori dressing up like Jade, I'm sure many have written a fic where Jade dressed up like Tori, so I decided to play with the idea for a bit and ultimately Cat dressed up like Tori simp,y to help Jade and as you all saw, it kind of backfired on her.
The lesson here is... Never start a Jori moment, it doesn't know where it will lead to, LOL.
Technically speaking, this is the first time I paired up Jade with someone other than Tori, (even in pretend) which was rather weird to say the least.
Finally, I would appreciate it if you guys left me some constructive criticism, it helps me to improve on my work.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.