I was nervous. No. Scratch that. I was freaking out.
This weekend the Dukes were having a summit in Las Vegas, so naturally my group of Nephilim friends decided to meet. At my house. In an hour.
I was normally an easy going guy; however today I would face Ginger for the first time since my engagement. To another girl. It wasn't like I really had a choice in the matter though; Melcholm had always been quite lax for a Duke, and his only real demand was that I have a trophy wife. I mean, he's the Duke of ENVY for a reason. And it isn't like I'm in any position to defy him. Yet.
Anyways, Ginger and I had this sort of thing. We'd flirt a bit, hook up a couple of times...and so on. Yet it feels deeper than just a random fling to me. There's something more there. Like every time she leaves for London with Marna, I feel... Empty. God, and that little smirk she'll wear after being particularly viscous... It makes parts of me very happy. Every time I see her my world gets a little brighter. (None of which I feel for Michelle)
But it just wouldn't work, not like it did with Anna and Kai. Ginger lives halfway around the world, and lets just say she would probably stab me with a fork for getting married. And when I tell her today about the engagement, she'll destroy everything we ever had. She's definitely not the sharing type..
I don't know what this feeling I have for her is, but I've never wanted anyone like this. So, for her sake, and mine, I'll have to let her go. I'll have to pretend like my world isn't crashing down, leaving me broken inside. I'll have to pretend I don't really care, when in reality nothing else matters more. I'll have to pretend I'm not in love with the one girl I can never have.
I hear an impatient knock and a a melodic English accent telling me to 'Open the damn door already!' So, with one final sigh, I trudge towards the girl of my dreams. Dreams being the imparitive word.