Disclaimer: DH is all Joss Whedon's. DW is all the BBC's. I wrote the song!
Notes: Whoa, this ended up a whole lot longer than I was planning for it to. The Doctor obviously likes singing. I was only planning on having him sing a song three or four verses in length, but it just kept going. It's not to the tune of anything in particular, as I suck at writing music, and didn't think this really warranted me getting on knees and begging my friend who is also a composer to write something. Oh, and yes, Captain Hammer is frozen in this for a lot longer than in the original, I know that... just… humour me, yes?
"This world is going to burn… BURN!!"
"Now, wait just a minute!"
The British accent at the back of the room caught Doctor Horrible off guard. No one was supposed to be talking now! This was his big moment, the moment where he would strike fear into the hearts of everyone present before pulling off the perfect assassination of his arch-nemesis. The crowd wasn't supposed to get up and protest.
Doctor Horrible turned around to find a tall, skinny man in brown pinstripes and a long coat standing in the doorway, looking Unimpressed (he felt the need to capitalise this in his head). He felt that this shouldn't bother him, but the look in the stranger's eyes seemed to say, "I need no Death Ray, I could kill you with my Brain"and he found this unsettling.
To bolster up his courage, Dr Horrible raised the Death Ray at the stranger, but instead of striking fear into the man's heart, all this seemed to do was prompt a cocked eyebrow and the sentence, "Oh, you really don't want to do that now, do you… Billy?"
Doctor Horrible paused, momentarily taken aback. "I'm Doctor Horrible," he finally said, "I have a PhD in Horribleness."
"Oooh, is that your catchphrase, is it?" Horrible's eye twitched. The man continued, "Not bad, I s'pose, but, well, "Horrible" makes me think more of rotting garbage than of a supervillain bent on taking over the world, but, you know, it's your choice, after all, who am I to argue?"
Doctor Horrible was not fond of having his name mocked. Wanting to know the name to put on his "Has To Go" list, he asked, "Who are you?"
"Me? I'm the Doctor. And I want you to lower that gun and let me talk to Billy."
"Billy? Ha!" Horrible gave the Doctor his evillest smirk and proceeded to give a second rendition of the Laugh, planning on using it to intimidate the Doctor. He therefore started getting a little annoyed when the Doctor simply stood there. The twitch in his eye became more pronounced, especially when the Doctor clapped politely at the end.
"Impressive. The vocal coach definitely helped." The Doctor nodded sincerely, then added in response to Horrible's facial expression, "Yes, I've watched your blog. Very entertaining." He flashed a megawatt grin. "So! Are you going to put that gun down and have a good think about what you're trying to do, or am I going to have to force you?" He wasn't sure what it was, but there was something about the man called the Doctor that made even the most horrible part of Doctor Horrible believe that he was not kidding.
As he lowered the Death Ray, the Doctor smiled and nodded, speaking words of encouragement. "Yes, that's it… Come on. Good. Right." As the Death Ray was placed on the floor, he asked, "Am I talking to Billy now?"
Without the Death Ray in his hands, the young man in the white lab coat and goggles was beginning to feel that he was rather more Billy than Doctor Horrible now, but he still tried to be at least a little threatening, and crossed his arms across his chest.
"I'm still Doctor Horrible, with or without a gun."
"Ah, is that right? Where's Billy then, eh? What happened to him?"
"Yeah," piped up a third voice, "What happened to the sweet guy I do my laundry with?"
Looking over the Doctor's shoulder, Billy felt his stomach flip as Penny clambered to her feet from where she had been hiding behind a row of chairs. He hadn't wanted her to witness any of this. And now, even more mortifying was the fact that she was seeing him virtually humiliated by a man who simply refused to be threatened.
"Penny… I…"
The Doctor looked back and forth between the two laundry buddies for a moment, a knowing smile on his face. "Naww, was this all to impress a girl?" he cooed, patting Billy on the arm and not even trying to contain his glee.
"No! Well… not entirely." Billy felt himself blushing.
Penny was confused. "You did all this because you wanted to impress me?"
"I…" Billy could feel his throat going dry. Deciding he really wasn't up to answering Penny's question to her face, he instead turned back to the Doctor. "It wasn't just that!" he defended himself, "I mean, look at the state of the world at the moment! Someone had to do something!"
"Oh… you're one of those, are you? Think you're actually going to make the world a better place by being evil?" The Doctor's expression became less mocking as he watched Billy's face fall. "Billy," he said, beckoning, "come here." As he moved a little closer, the Doctor placed his arm on Billy's shoulder and continued,
"There are times when I have felt
Completely down and out
But I've also seen so many things
You'll only ever dream about
I've witnessed the death of stars,
I've been there at their birth
I've seen a thousand different miracles
And that's just here on Earth
But I've seen my share of war and death
Sometimes I've even been to blame
And that can make you disillusioned
You think it always ends this way
But let me tell you something
That I've learnt throughout this life
Just because evil brings power
It doesn't make it right
And you may not believe it
But I'm telling you it's true
That if just one life is saved
And that credit goes to you
The feeling that you'll get
It'll warm your heart right through
And once you've felt it you will realise,
Good's the only thing to do."
The song finished, and the Doctor paused to consider it for a moment, before commenting, "Hhm, maybe a bit cheesy towards the end there, but never mind." He gave Billy a reassuring smile and removed his arm from around the younger doctor's shoulder. At some point during the song, the two of them had sat down on the front row of chairs, and now Penny joined them, sitting on Billy's other side.
"The Doctor's right, Billy," she said. "What do you think I'm trying to do?"
"But you're so…" Billy began, before trailing off.
Penny raised an eyebrow at him and prompted, "So…?"
"Well… good suits you."
"It could suit you, too, Billy," she replied softly, taking his hand in her own. Billy felt his throat drying up again, and so just averted his eyes from hers. Penny glanced at the Doctor, who was smiling at them. He gave a small jerk of his head in Billy's direction, and somehow Penny knew exactly what he was suggesting she should do.
"Billy?"
"Yeah?" He'd barely looked back up at her when he felt her lips on his own. His first instinct was to panic; he wasn't exactly accustomed to having a girl kissing him, especially not the girl with whom he had been completely and utterly in love for several months. However, after a few seconds, he began to get the hang of things, and kissed her back, his brain feeling as though there were fireworks going off inside it.
Far too short a time later, Billy broke the kiss at the sound of his freeze ray winding down.
"What's that?" Penny asked.
Billy looked worried. "The Freeze Ray… it only works for a certain amount of time, and now it's…"
He trailed off as they watched Captain Hammer unfreeze and look around the room, trying to work out where all the people that had been there only a second ago (as far as he was concerned) had gone. Upon spotting Penny, Billy and the Doctor in the front row, he jumped off the stage and made his way over to them, not noticing Penny's hand on Billy's knee and his still on her shoulder.
"Penny, darling, er… what's going on?"
"The opening's cancelled," she informed him.
At this point, Hammer looked at Billy, and his lip curled. "Horrible," he snarled, "get your hands off my girlfriend."
"I'm not your girlfriend," Penny informed him, promptly and firmly.
There were gasps from some of the still-remaining members of the crowd as Captain Hammer blinked. "Huh?"
"We're over."
"But… Penny… what… why…?" Realising the Billy/Dr Horrible was somehow involved in her wanting to break up with him, Captain Hammer glared at him, before turning on his heel and briskly marching out of the building in an attempt to save what dignity he still had left.
Billy stared at Penny for a moment, gobsmacked. "You just dumped him!" he exclaimed when he found his voice, "just like that!"
Penny blushed and shrugged. "He was a jerk."
"I could've told you that," Billy pointed out, a small grin on his face.
Penny batted his arm playfully. "Oh, leave me alone! I see now!"
The Doctor suddenly stood up and clapped his hands. "Well, now that all the excitement's over…" He looked down at Billy. "Well, Billy, what's it going to be? The Evil League of Evil, or the… er… do they call it the Good League of Good? Doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?"
Penny looked at Billy, and took his hand again, smiling at him. "Maybe we could start our own Good League of Good… or something," she suggested.
"Would that mean I get to kiss you again?"
Penny pretended to consider it. "Very possibly," she laughed, and Billy grinned.
"I'm all for that," he agreed.
A huge smile spread over the Doctor's face. "That's the spirit!" he encouraged. "Well, I'll be off now, but I might pop back in a while and see how you're all doing. Penny, lovely to meet you. Billy… good luck."
The Doctor took off towards the door at a jog, but stopped when Billy called out his name.
"Yes, Billy?"
"Thanks." The Doctor grinned again, and then he was out the door, brown coat billowing behind him.
Penny got to her feet and pulled Billy up behind her. "Come on, Billy, buddy," she said, voice determined. "We've got a hell of a lot of work to do."
Billy was only too happy to follow her.
And now, as tempting as it is to write the sequel in which the Doctor returns and invites Billy and Penny to be his new companions, I really must get on with the required reading I have to do for uni this week but have been neglecting all day in order to write this instead. Please review. )