14. Control

SUMMARY: How do you know what you want, when you no longer know yourself? How do you help yourself, when you can't find yourself? Life is so complicated and all Artemis wants to do is complete her mission and forget the emotions threatening to burst out of her. AU.

CHARACTERS: Artemis Crock, Jade Nguyen, Roy Harper, Lian Nguyen-Harper

RATING: T

WARNINGS: Mentions of killing.

Thanks to my Beta OnihumoExplosionsInc !

They were just names. A combination of letters that appeared on a piece of paper. Always written in red. She hated the color red. Hated the way it coated her after a hard day. Hated it when it ran down the shower. But most importantly she hated the way is drowned her. Hated waking up. White sheets stained red as it dripped from her hair. Red suffocating her. Rising from the floor and drowning her. She hated the redness of blood.

She never really realized she was just a puppet until the name showed up on paper. What cruel humor her bosses had. Because when she read the paper she was shocked not to feel disgust at the name there. There was only coldness. The simple buzz that came when preparing oneself for the next kill. Was this normal?

Her footsteps soft and quiet. Her moves confident and precise. There was no remorse with the thought of her next kill. No tears willing to be shed. Just the knowledge that red would once again be coating her hands. The repetitiveness that came with killing.

And there she stood. Towering over her victim. Deep breaths heard from the other room. The couple unaware of what was about to happen to them. What would happen to her.

She readied the knife. Trying to find the best way to kill her. There was no need for her to suffer. The living would mourn her and her death would have achieved their goal. Their goal? She didn't know if she wanted this exactly but they were her bosses.

You don't have to. The voice murmured. But she ignored it. Already used to its futile ramblings and weak arguments.

You don't want this.

Shouldn't she want what they wanted?

They had fed her and clothed her. They had protected her and then given her a job when needed.

They had saved her.

They had doomed her.

No. She was thankful to them. She was -lost- happy with them.

You can escape. You can ask for help.

No.

Jade will help you.

NO.

Jade got out.

"SHUT UP!"

She didn't notice her victim wake up. Didn't notice those grey eyes widening as tears welled up. She didn't notice it until a cry left her lips. A screeching noise waking up the other occupants and bringing with them their heavy footsteps.

"Oh for god sake Artemis. If you loom over her like that of course she's gonna cry." Jade mumbled. Putting her weapon away and reaching past her to cuddle her crying daughter. The sounds of sniffles and sushing filling the dark room.

"Artemis?" Roy questioned noting her stiff posture and clothes. His grip tightened on his weapon. Shoulders widening at the possible threat to his family.

"Oh please Roy. Artemis won't-"

But Artemis wasn't listening. Because her mission had been compromised. Because they weren't meant to wake up and see her. Weren't meant to know she was there. Their names weren't on the paper. She didn't want more red. Didn't want to scrub them from her hands.

They can help.

Please stop.

You don't want to do this.

Yes I do.

They're your family.

The league is my family.

No. The league is your wrangler. They are your family.

And while Jade and Roy argued over her she realized she hated who she was. Because there stood Jade protecting her. Jade who had fed and clothed her when the going got tough. Jade who tried to take her away even though she refused. There stood Jade defending her. Jade not seeing the knife she still held by her side. The knife meant for her daughter.

And Artemis cried. Body collapsing as the red rushed forwards and drowned her. Big mouthfuls as snot ran down her chin. An ugly cry turned scream. She was mourning. Mourning all her kills. Mourning her childhood self. Artemis was mourning herself.

And Jade stood there. Noticing the dagger and the clothes. Noticing her daughters cries mingling with those of her aunt. But most importantly Jade noticed the paper.

A tiny slip with the name Lian Nguyen-Harper marked in red.