The Loudest Sound
Lena moved slowly with a calculated purpose for each step taken. Making her way through her office she went to the entrance, opened the door, and called out to her assistant.
"Jess, I am going to be unavailable for the next three hours. Please make sure no one contacts or interrupts me for that time period. If you need to get in touch with a pressing concern, please call or email rather than come into the office. I will be working with sensitive materials that can be easily harmed" Lena rattled off as Jess appeared impassive.
"So another one of those Tuesdays, Ms. Luther?" Jess replied with a hidden coy smirk.
"I knew there was a reason I've kept you around so long" Lena said with jest before returning to her office and closing the door.
Turning around with her back to the office door, Lena looked out at the room. This vantage point offered all visitors a clear visual pathway to every surface within her office. From the white leather couch directly in front of her to the glass desk on her right and the built-in bookshelves that outlined the room, Lena's office was transparent. After being bamboozled by investigative reporters, federal agents, and even international hitmen, Lena decided an accessible ambiance would keep her investors happy and board members mollified despite her family ties.
Making her way to the couch, Lena sat down and removed her heels. She shifted on the couch picking up her feet and curling them under her body. Laying her head against the arm of the couch, she closed her eyes to the world allowing the subtle silence of the desolate room to envelop her.
Feeling the tendrils of a migraine attempting to slip into her head, Lena took the pointer fingers of both hands and massaged her temples in clockwise circles.
"How are you feeling hun?" A voice echoed from behind her desk.
"Close the door and come in here, I know you can't feel the chill but it is still Winter and we are 30 floors above the ground" Lena replied with one eye stretched open watching the balcony visitor comply with her request.
"I brought you a cup of that specialty coffee you like, but only coffee no shots of espresso you know too much caffeine can make the migraine worse" the woman said as she moved forward into the room.
"Thanks Kar" Lena moaned out as she continued to rub at her temples.
"Don't thank me, Jess texted me to let me know you were conferencing with the Chinese embassy. We both know how much their ambassador grates on you" Kara replied as she sat on the couch taking Lena's feet into her lap.
"The rest of their team is great, which is what is so frustrating. I never know when the ambassador is going to join on the calls, because obviously he is above keeping us all in the loop" Lena complained as she burrowed deeper into the comforts of the sofa and Kara.
"Well whenever he does I am here for all the coffee deliveries and massages you could ever want" Kara gently replied as she rubbed Lena's worn feet.
"You are too good to me hun" Lena softly said with her eyes closed as she listened to the rhythmic breathing of her companion.
The minutes slowly passed before Lena shuffled into a sitting position on the couch, having removed her feet from Kara's lap. Reaching her arms out she pulled Kara into a gentle embrace grazing the tips of her fingers over the exposed skin on Kara's arms.
Ducking her head into Kara's neck, Lena mumbled, "you are so strong Kar. For me, for Alex, for this city…this world. I hope you know I'm here to help hold you up as you hold all of us up."
Stilling, Kara processed Lena's words.
"It's just… you do so much for me Kar, so much…and I just I hope you know I would do anything for you" Lena continued softly whispering the tender words into the space between Lena's lips and Kara's ear.
Finally processing her words, Kara melted into Lena's embrace. "Having you at my side makes me feel invincible" Kara murmured to her girlfriend.
"Hun, you are already invincible. That's why they call you the Girl of Steel" Lena jokingly teased as she averted her eyes, and heart, from the confessions of her partner.
"Maybe invincible to fists and bullets, but you protect me from the emptiness that has been there since I left Krypton. You are my home" Kara said seriously as she gently turned Lena's face to look in her eyes.
Unable to form a reply, Lena tilted her head down looking at her feet.
"I don't know what I ever did to deserve us- to deserve you" Lena said in reply, grasping onto Kara's arms as though her grip kept them indefinitely tethered together.
"Life just takes and takes and takes, Lee- and you especially it has taken so much from. But love? Love gives and gives and gives without any expectations. And me? I'm here to give you my all. You are my always" Kara said soothingly as she wrapped her arms around Lena's back holding her tightly to her front.
Falling into Kara's embrace, Lena took deep shuddering breaths focusing on the movement of her partner's chest.
Kara bent forward and brought her lips to Lena's ear. Whispering, Kara said, "We are writing the most beautiful story together."
Sitting with her back against the couch, Kara brought Lena's head down onto her shoulder.
"My entire planet is gone. My family, my culture, my history, my religion- it all exploded in a sound too large and flash too bright. A catastrophe unheard of here, so long ago that you were yet to even exist in this world" Kara recounted as she soothingly ran her fingers through Lena's hair.
"And yet, I feel guilty sometimes for being so grateful to have escaped Krypton. My family and friends and neighbors and bullies and crushes all gone in the loudest sound nobody heard" Kara paused her confession as if remembering each of the Kryptonians who would never see Rao's light again.
Peering up, Lena could see the distraught written on Kara's face as easy to read as the words in her favorite book. Reaching over she put her hand on Kara's thigh as if to ground her to the Earth as Kara's mind flew high above the clouds towards an empty echo of another life.
Realizing how much time had passed, Kara took a shuddering breath and continued "I would cry at night and pray to Rao pleading with him to take me in my sleep. I felt like a traitor to my people. My very existence was a betrayal to all that I knew."
Realizing Kara had yet to finish her thought, Lena held back the comforting words that stood at attention on the tip of her tongue.
Kara looked up, peering directly into Lena's glossy eyes. Offering a slight smile, Kara interlaced her hand with Lena's tracing the edge of Lena's hand with her thumb.
As she unconsciously traced Lena's hand, Kara looked at their joint hands offering Lena a pained smile. "Alex tried her hardest when I was growing up to be there for me. She offered me a family when I had none and helped me fit in when all I did was stick out. But, even with her unconditional love part of me always felt guilty" Kara said in one fell swoop as though admitting a long hidden secret.
Pausing once again, Kara reached up with her hand to tuck a stray piece of Lena's hair behind her ear. Falling into the loving gaze of her partner Kara confessed, "It wasn't until I met you that I began to feel like I had a home again. That I belonged somewhere. Knowing what I feel for you makes me wonder if Rao knew I needed to survive Krypton's death if only so the universe would bear witness to the truest love ever expressed throughout the stars. "
"Kara…" Lena replied softly her voice broken as though wounded by the words expressed.
"I know your family has left you feeling broken Lee, but I'm broken too and I think my broken pieces fit into yours perfectly. Oh Rao…this isn't how I wanted to tell you all of this. I know you aren't feeling well. Why don't I go and leave you to rest?" Kara said hurriedly as if the words of her confession finally caught up to her.
Standing, Kara made to leave but was caught by Lena's outstretched hand.
"Sit down hun" Lena said reassuringly and gently pulled the Kryptonian back into her arms.
Sitting next to Lena, Kara stared pointedly at their hands studiously avoiding looking at Lena's gaze.
"Kar…You know I'm broken. Every day since our first dinner I have woken up expecting a text calling an end to this. I always thought you were just too good and too pure to get stuck with someone as cynical as I am. I think I've been in love with you since the day you came into my office with Clark asking about the rocket ship" Lena said slowly allowing Kara to hear the meaning behind her words.
"I thought you deserved better than me. But Kara, I have always loved you" Lena said quietly pulling Kara in closer to her body.
Whispering into her ear, Lena told Kara, "You are my always too."