Times Table
By: M14Mouse
Summary: Every time Sam died, his last thought was of Dean. Tagish for The Song Remains the Same.
Disclaimer: Don't own them.
The first time Sam died, he didn't remember much.
Yellow Eyes….Jake…Ava…Andy…Lily…God, it was a mess. It was a nightmare that just wouldn't stop.
He remembered seeing Dean and Bobby coming toward him. He was never so happy to see them. They were like a light at the end of the tunnel for him especially to see Dean there. Andy was so sure that he was able to reach Dean. To see his brother alive and well, it just made him so relieved.
Next thing, he remembered very clearly was the pain.
His body was in pain since Jack kicked his ass. He knew he was at disadvantage because of Jake's super strength. He refused to let that stop him. His throbbing shoulder was proof as it was. He was pretty sure he had dislocated it. He had fleeing thoughts about how much fun he would have popping back in until he heard Dean calling his name.
Jake came and stabbing him in the back.
Funny thing, he didn't feel anything at first.
Maybe, it was from shock. He didn't really know.
A second later, the pain came. The pain was nothing he ever felt before. His vision became blur and white. He just remembered feeling his brother's arms around him. He heard Dean shouting his name over and over again. He could have sworn his brother was begging him for something. It was something in his voice that gave him paused.
His last thought as he slipped away was why was Dean crying?
-SPNSPN-
The second time he died, he wasn't quite sure if he did die. They were hunting a demon in Flint, Michigan. It was hiding out in a small warehouse. Easy, right? That was before they found out that the demon had friends. Somewhere between the fighting and getting tossed against the wall, he lost sight of Dean. He remembered a pair of hands pressed against his throat. His hands instantly clawed at skin. His body fought to get free. His legs tried kicking the demon off. Everything to get free. He remembered the burning sensation of his throat and lungs.
He felt the sensation of floating.
His vision became blurry….tilted…lost.
His last thought as he slipped into darkness was where was Dean?
-SPNSPN-
The third time he died, he remembered it quite clearly. It was a slow and painful death. It craved out his soul piece by piece until it left him hollow. It took average 24000 minutes…9600 hours…400 days…57 weeks.
It didn't matter if it was the Trickster's time warp or the six months he hunted by himself or the four months that Dean was in hell.
If he wanted to get technical, he could even say the entire year after Dean came back.
Piece by piece…he was dying with every hunt, with every lonely day, with every disconnected conversation he and his brother had.
Piece by piece…he did nothing to stop.
He really thought if he was cold enough and hollow enough. He could do it.
But every time, his head hit the ground or pillow or cold mattress, his last thoughts were of his brother.
-SPNSPN-
This time he died, it was like in slow motion and fast forward all at once. How slowly he got to his feet. How quickly Anna got the piece of wood from the wall and stabbed him. He felt the piece of wood pierce through his skin and torn into his muscles. He felt his blood full his mouth. He glanced over at his brother, who was still struggling with Uriel.
He shouted his brother's name as his body pressed against the wall. His body slipped to the ground. He no longer had any control. Through the pain, he felt a terrible sense of relief and peace. It was over. He didn't care if he was going to hell. No Lucifer's meatsuit for him. No end of the world. He had the nasty thought pop into his head. Dean better not bring him back this time. He would kick his ass or something painful. If his thoughts weren't become so jumbled, he would think of something else.
The last thought as he slipped away.
He hoped his brother got away.
End.
A/N: Don't really ask. I wasn't sure where this came from. I think it was the fact that I wanted to avoid school work. YAY for avoiding! ::Coughs.:: I had to add one for choking. Honestly, I am surprise Sam hasn't gone to hospital for the amount of times he has been choked on the show. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. Read and review if you wish.