Night Musings
It's nights like these that make me wish I had someone to talk to.
Not my brothers, but someone who truly understands me. I can't help but sigh into the cool night air.
Looking up at the scattering of stars, I think of the two of them, safe and asleep, in a hotel room across town. I can see them clearly, if I close my eyes and focus. Moonlight dancing across pale skin and silver hair, Loz curled up with his teddy-bear, something that makes me smile, even if he swears he'll kill me if I ever tell anyone, and Kadaj, clutching a pillow to his chest, his brows furrowed together as he mumbles and twitches as the nightmares consume him.
I know he hears mother more clearly than Loz or I ever could, and from somewhere deep inside, I'm positive that he hears Sephiroth as well.
My brothers-- what would I give to protect them?
The world.
My life.
Nothing will ever change that, nothing ever can, no matter how much I wish it. We're all possessed by the same madness. Find mother. Reawaken Sephiroth.
Poor Kadaj.
I'm afraid for him, afraid of what he might become.
Is it true, what they say about him? Is Sephiroth just an insane killer?
I hope not.
Someone like that would destroy Kadaj, both body and soul.
I want to be able to go back to the hotel, wake him and hold him close, and tell him that everything will be ok, that awakening Sephiroth shouldn't be our main goal.
But that's what we were made for, itsn't it?
I shake my head, force myself to look down at the ground, to make myself pull my head out of the clouds and focus on what must be done, what we were created for.
No matter how much I wish it, we have our mission, our destiny in the here and now. And wishing will never change anything.
Sighing again, I turn my footsteps back to the hotel, back to my brothers, and back to all I have to live for.