Explanation: I was really bored, and this just popped into my head and sounded funny. So I had to write it. Oh btw, Father Makepwe is actually in TAS and I wrote this on the basis that the church actually falls in Lyra's world, even though I'm not sure if Pullman has ever said that that is what happens. Also Fra Pavel in this is based on Fra Pavel from the film- but Billy is from the book because he is whole (even though I don't mention her, she is there believe me)

Oh and I previously posted this up on a His Dark Materials site. So if you've seen it before…

They had travelled to London especially. On the train and then transferring onto the Chthonic railway to get closer to their target. Lyra had laughed of course,

"What would my Mother say if she knew someone of my class was travelling in this way."

They were crouching down behind the building now, making sure that they had everything they might need. The Magisterium was not what it had once been, there were no guards, but they knew he was there. Bleeding any information he could get out of the place.

"Rope?" asked Lyra, whose Dæmon, Pantalaimon, was crouched on her shoulder in the shape of a Pine Marten.

"Got it." replied Billy.

"Gag?"

"Got that too."

"Paint?"

"Yep" said Billy. Lyra beamed at him.

"Then let's go."

Inside the old Magisterial building, Fra Pavel was scuttling around. He was searching for anything that might be useful to him in this world his home had become. It was not the same as it had been. He quickly walked down one corridor. He was not alone in his search. There were others here with him looking for useful things that they could salvage, there were several others, including Father Makepwe, who had been one and the oldest of the twelve members of the Consistorial Court of Disipline. So, when he heard footsteps from behind, he was not at all suspicious. It would have been better if he was. The blow to the back of his head had fallen hard, but luckily not hard enough to kill him, only to knock him out. Before he slipped in an unconscious sleep, Fra Pavel heard the sound of voices The voices of a boy and a girl…

Two hours later, the rest of the old members of the church were on a new type of search mission. They had lost Fra Pavel. Father Makepwe was beginning to get annoyed, they had searched for an hour and a half and had still not found the man.

"He can't have just disappeared! Go look somewhere else!" he snapped at a young Priest.

The Priest scampered away. Makepwe sighed angrily. They hadn't really found anything of importance, the rebels had seen to that after the Magisterium had fallen, they had taken everything about Dust. They hadn't destroyed it of course. They needed to make sure if some of the church's findings were true or not, it was impossible to find any of the research from Bolvangar. The young Priest suddenly reappeared.

"Your eminence….." he said hoarsely.

"Whaaaaat?" Makepwe growled back irritably.

"In a room down the corridor, there appears to be a lot of banging coming from within a cupboard. I did try to open it, but it was locked."

Makepwe frowned and then started down the corridor to the room in question, the young Priest following. When they got to the room, there was a most curious banging from within the cupboard door. So Father Makepwe got his set of keys out, and unlocked the door.

A bound and gagged Fra Pavel tumbled out of the cupboard and landed on the floor on his front. The young Priest and Father Makepwe stared in astonishment at the man on the floor. On his back, in bright red paint, someone had written:

I HAVE A VERY BIG NOSE

The word 'very' had been underlined. Twice. The young Priest suppressed a laugh…

And outside the Magesterial building, a laughing Lyra and Billy were making a hasty exit.