Maybe You've Been in Guard Too Long When….

+Your parents lock up all the brooms/pool cues/umbrellas/etc.
+You spin anything you can get your hands on. pens, mops, etc.
+All your favorite songs have this one part that would be "perfect for really cool guard solo"
+You can't watch someone else spin next to you without spinning yourself.
+You name your equipment.
+You can't name all the shows you've done.
+You can't remember the work from the last show you did.
+The phrase, "free time" has lost all meaning to you.
+The band room is your second home.
+You leave a pillow and blanket in the guard room, just in case.
+You don't go one day without spinning.
+You've slept in the band room and/or on the 'band' bus
+You've gotten undressed in the band room and/or on the 'band' bus
+You'd be at practice, even if you have pneumonia. And you'd be smiling.
+You know that "one more time" never means one more time.
+You know how to get any kind of stain out of your uniform.
+Skin tight spandex doesn't faze you anymore.
+You go out in public wearing practice clothes, and wonder why people look at you funny.
+You sing songs you've performed to every day of your life.
+Anyone who can twirl a baton with fire on both ends and not drop it, is your idol.
+You could make one of these lists with little to no effort.
+You have a permanent sock tan.
+Your nails don't come past the ends of your fingers.
+You start finishing sentences for fellow guard members.
+When you go out to dinner with makeup and glitter all over your face after a show, you wonder why the waiter looks at you funny.
+You're constantly involved in fund raisers (wanna buy a candy bar?)
+You know where every high school in your circuit is located.
+You can smiles genuinely on command.
+You can catch anything thrown at you.
+You know the perfect spot for a toss in your favorite songs.
+You can do your hair and make-up anywhere.
+You can change into your uniform anywhere.
+You STILL don't know your left from your right and when someone asks you, you have to stop and think about it.
+No matter how good your guard is you still get the smallest coverage in the yearbook.
+You know that if you try something weird it might just end up in your show.
+You went to every school football game but never paid for one.
+When people ask about bruises you didn't even notice you had
+When you can never be fashionably late because you show up for everything at least 15 minutes early
+When vending machine and stadium food becomes gourmet.
+When you use guard tape to fix everything
+You know what jell-o-arms and legs feel like.
+Having your show finished the day before your first competition/performance is considered extremely lucky
+The smell of sun screen makes you think of band camp.
+You've never actually watched a football game.
+You can get any teacher to sympathize with you and let you off for that missing assignment.
+You have hit yourself in the head with a flag more times than you would like to think about or can think about!
+Life? what's that?
+You have had the words "left! right! left! right!" repeatedly screamed at you and you are not in the army
+Your unguard friends know that you're almost never available to go out
+When the only jacket you own has the name of your guard on it
+When you spend more time with the guard then your own family
+When you have practice 5 days a week and enjoy every second
+The funny smell in the guard/band room in no longer noticeable to you
+The rule you have broken the most is "you cant date band members!"
and finally…
+You read the title of this list and immediately thought "Psht, you could never be in guard too long"