title: Neutral
characters/pairing: SasuNaruSasu
warning: not betaed, angsty romance
disclaimer: not mine.
author notes: This is only a small drabble and it kind of mirrors "Lipstick" (SakuIno)in some ways, but without the actual lipstick so you don't have to worry. Please R + R!
Your hands are rough when you touch me and I would have it no other way. Your lips are slightly cracked from life and pain, not at all as soft as I always imagined (wondered, longed for). But it's not as if I mind because when I kissed girls before the softness was too much for me. I have never known the love a mother's hand could yield or the quiet song echoing in your memory that fills you with the feeling of belonging and safety. From the beginning I only knew the hate and coldness of a hidden glare, wondering what it would feel like to have someone else's skin on mine. I used to close my eyes in the hot embrace of the shower, floating in dreams and pretending the warmth and arms enclosing me were that of another person instead of my lonely reality.
Is it such a wonder I prefer the sure and strong touches, the almost bruising force of your kisses, your lust and love to the butterfly wings of a woman's hands? For me only you are real, only you can destroy reality and give me a few moments of mindless pleasure forgetting about the fact that you will not stay with me once everything is over.
Sometimes I'm glad that your taste is nothing but you because if you tasted of coffee, honey, or raspberries they would forever be spoiled in their imperfectness and make me miss you so much more. But kissing you reminds me of nothing but heat, home and the underlying taste of ashes. You burn me and yet I know that I do not have the same effect on you. Your eyes are always distant, always searching for the sky to fly away from me so that I can almost feel you slipping from my fingers even when your hold on me still is that of a lover's.
I know you're not mine, not anyone's actually and sometimes I even have to wonder if you belong to yourself. Maybe one day you will finally disappear from my life, the sporadic visits that keep my heart beating, ending only to be replaced by reality once more. I fear that day because it will mean the end of my childhood dreams and the hope of belonging to someone wholeheartedly . The darkness of your eyes will turn to the darkness of a lonely night sky , the paleness of your skin to the snow freezing me in winter.
I will find someone else of course, someone with soft skin, loving butterfly kisses and a smile warmer than the sun. I will not give up without you but neither will I ever stop running after you, like chasing a shadow of someone who has left a long time ago only leaving darkness in the world.