Fandom: Hakkenden

Pairing: Kobungo/Asakeno

Title: Genpachi is an idiot

Words: 883

Warnings: slash, duh!

Summary: Genpachi seriously should know when to shut up. And why it would be bad to say anything to Kobungo's mother. But he wanted revenge. This can't end happily, right? Right?!

"I think it's a good idea."

"IT IS NOT!"

"But why? You were the first one who spilled my idea of engagement to your parents."

"But that was about my sister and you're a pervert! And I have no intention of marrying!" whined Kobungo, trying to reason with his damn idiotic almost-brother, who decided it was a right time for a revenge.

It wasn't. Not like that. Not ever.

Genpachi, sadly, didn't see it that way.

"But it was your idea."

"No, it wasn't! Don't you have any work you need to go to?!" Once again he tried to make Genpachi's mind turn somewhere else. Eight time in the last hour. "I'm sure you'll see Shino somewhere. You know, Shino in his nice, adult form?"

"Hmmm…" Please, please, let his perverted part of the brain outweigh that vengeful one, please, please… "No. I don't think so. Your mother must know."

"What must I know?"

The sound that left Kobungo's mouth was not human. For a split of a second he was tempted to turn into demon, snatch the idiot and go away with him. He would have at least few hours without problems of epic proportions. He was so sure he'll talk Genpachi out of this. The hope was always there.

That changed by the arrival of his mother, who was looking at him with such a cold gaze it was a miracle he was still breathing.

"I asked, what must I know, Genpachi. I do not appreciate being held in the dark about anything my… son does."

Yup, she was clearly sure it was his doing. Which wasn't. Not at all. Well, maybe a little, but not in such a way! But nothing he could say right now would shut up the older guy.

"Kobungo proposed to Keno-san today and I decided you have to be informed, madam."

"I DID NOT DO SUCH A THING!" he cried out, feeling the tears in his eyes. "Just now that he has his freaking heart back and no family whatsoever I told him he can stay here and we can adopt him! NOT IN A WAY THAT MEANS MARRIAGE!"

Genpachi smiled slyly. He was so dead. So dead.

"Oh? I was pretty sure that he said something about loving you, then you went all scarlet and said you don't believe it."

"See?" he tried to mislead his frowning mother. She had that calculating look on her face and he hated it.

But the idiot wasn't finished.

"Then Keno-san said that if you don't believe him, you should kill him. And after that, if I remember correctly, you said that okay, okay, you believe, no killing is necessary and you'll take him in as he is!"

"WHICH MEAN I DON'T CARE HE L-LOVES ME AND I CAN STILL ADOPT HIM!"

Shit, the moment he stuttered older woman shot him hard glare. Kobungo felt cold shiver going down his spine.

Because his mother smiled happily and clasped her hands.

"Good! He can still goes as a woman without a problem, so at least mine daughter-in-law will be gorgeous, something that I can't say about Shimizu-san." She started chuckling darkly. Shimizu-san was a landlady on the other side of the same street who was trying to steal from his mother customers. And her son, who was quite plain, got himself equally plain girl for a wife. "Yes, that's a good idea. Asakeno-san's beauty will only help us."

"He has a foul mouth and shitty personality, mother! And he's A MAN. I don't like men!" He screeched and ruffled his hair. "Imagine the scandal when his gender will…"

"Leave that to me. And don't say stupid things like that. He's a very nice, young gentleman…" Even Genpachi had to stare at her like she just grow out second head on her shoulder. "…and besides, he can shut up when necessary. I'll teach him how to act lady-like, just you watch."

"He's a man, still. I don't like him." Genpachi snorted and Kobungo glared at him. It was all his fault. He should leave the pervert to this damn monks when he had opportunity. "What's so funny?"

"You stare at him and drool every time."

"Because I forget he's a man! Which will change in the future, and we would have to… to… And I most certainly won't cheat on the person I'll be married to!"

"Him being a guy shouldn't bother you that much. You don't have to worry about getting him pregnant."

"See?" With a hopeful face he turned to his still scary-smiling mother. "Mom, I wouldn't have the opportunity to produce an heir!"

"Adopt one" her voice was like a whip. And her gaze final. "Are we clear on that?"

He wanted to say no. He wanted to tell his mother, his idiotically grinning brother and the whole world that they can go and drown themselves in the river. He wanted to kick Keno-san out of the inn and just… just let him wander on the world all alone, without protection of yasha-hime…

His stupid imagination showed him Keno-san with his beautiful hair dancing on the air, his pretty face with a teasing smile and he clearly heard a voice – a little shaken – telling him he loves him…

And suddenly found himself saying "Yes" to his mother.