A/N- I wrote this to keep you all busy while I sort out my plans for The Spy Who Loved Him. Btw, have faith in me with that story. I WILL finish it.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter (couldn't anyway, I'm under eighteen).

The Biography of the Marauders, by James Potter

With commentaries courtesy of Sirius Black

Hey! This is MY story!

Your story ABOUT the Marauders, and therefore I have the right to leave comments.

Well, I'm a Marauder too, you know, Sirius?

Yeah, and that's why you're allowed to write this biography.

Oh, just shut up. Are you trying to leave comments all over the page?

Fine.

I shall begin thus:

A long, long time ago, there was a huge castle. In it lived the Marauders. The Maraud-

I thought you were supposed to write a biography, and not a fairy tale.

So? I can start it however I want.

By the way, we didn't live "A long, long time ago", James.

Yeah, whatever. Fine. I'll change it.

James Potter was leaning against the wall, coolly watching the scene from aside. It was extremely amusing, for a black- haired boy with startling blue eyes, supposedly named "Serious", (or was it Sirius? Seriously!) was being chased after by a horde of girls, all of whom looked angry.

One of them shouted: "Stop! Somebody, stop that thief!"

Pointing at the boy named Sirius, another shrilly screamed, "Look! He's getting away!"

Soon, it turned into a race, everyone, save for James, running after him.

James smirked. He simply lifted his arm and looked at his watch before pressing a little button on it.

Suddenly, everyone stopped running. The boy named Sirius was to be seen lying on the ground, not moving.

"He isn't dead. I simply shot him with a sedative from my watch," said James quietly.

Everyone turned to look at Ja-

WHAT?? Why am I, and not Snivellus or something, the thief here? Change it immediately!

No way!

sigh You leave me with no choice but to...

Ouch! Sirius! If you do that again, I swear I'll... uh...

What'cha gonna do, huh?

Fine, fine.

There was not anyone in the near past and future that dare compete with the Marauders. They of the good looks, extreme intelligence, bravery and friendliness. Loved by everyone, th-

Nope, this isn't the nineteenth century anymore, James. Maybe you are too far behind (hint, hint)? In time, of course.

Sirius...? Don't you dare comment- Hey, OUCH! Will you quit zapping me?!

Change it! Change it! Change it!

You wanna try rap, Sirius? No, wait- forget I mentioned that!

James 'o Pothead, he wants me dead,
He-

SIRIUS! Fine! I'll change it!

Tip toeing across the corridor… Out to explore the secrets-

You make us sound like the bad guys, James.

Okay, fine. That's IT! I'm NOT writing anymore. You can write it if you want, but I AM NOT! Hear that?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, here it is:

Sirius Black. The most popular guy in Hogwarts. He was handsome, smart and everything else positive.

He had beautiful dark- brown, almost-black hair and blue- green eyes. He-

Actually, it's black hair and blue eyes.

Shut up, James. It's MY story.

Hey, it was MY story.

Until you decided not to write it.

Well, anyway, Sirius Black. He was the most intelligent guy in Hogwarts. He scored Os on all his OWLs.

No one could ever beat Sirius Black.

You are NOT the cleverest guy in Hogwarts!

Like YOU are?

Actually, I am. You didn't even get a single O, you got mostly As, by the way. With an E in Transfiguration.

Shut up! I got an O in Transfiguration!

Sure, if there wasn't an 'O', "Transfiguration would be spelt "Transfiguratin"

Shut up!

What did you get for your OWLs, by the way, Mr Think- you're- so- smart?

I got straight 'O's

Liar!

Not!

I remember you getting an A in Charms and Potions, and also Herbology.

You can't use the word "and" more than once in a sentence.

Whatever! I've made my point, anyway.

And that would be?

I AM THE BEST!!

…

Yeesh, Padfoot, you're so narcissistic.

Hey, don't say that! Don't even THINK it! My cousin is called Narcissa and she's terrible. She's a follower of You- Know- Who and thinks she is the best because she is pure- blooded.

Your family has the weirdest names. Like: Regulus, which is not a regular- sounding name, Narcissa the narcissist and lastly, Sirius the person who is never serious.

Hey! I take offense to that!

Hay is for horses.

Hey! Don't think- Oh wait! Never mind.

I'm going on with the biography, seeing as you've "started" it.

JAMES!

Yes?

JAMES!

I'm perfectly aware that that is my name, Padfoot.

Anyway,

Peter Pettigrew. Known as Wormtail to his comrades- the other three quarters of the Marauders. Peter, to the people outside the Marauders, seemed small and therefore insignificant, but they could never be more wrong.

Peter, owing to his small size, had a great advantage over the others. He was the key in almost every operation. He was-

That is not a biography.

Neither was yours.

I'll show you how a biography goes:

James Potter was born around sixeen years ago on a cold, wintry day. He-

It was autumn, Sirius.

-was a prankster by heart, by core. Naturally, when he came to Hogwarts, he and three others formed a group- the Marauders. These four Marauders were the most popular guys in all of Hogwarts, respected by guys, worshipped by girls. All smart, all handsome.

But James wanted more. He didn't want any random pretty girl. Instead, he wanted one of the only girls in Hogwarts who didn't think of him as a god- Lily Evans.

You SURE you're not up to something?

Because of that, he spent six of his (currently still six) years at Hogwarts chasing after her (he started chasing after her in Second Year).

Sirius, don't even THINK of mentioni-

Lily thought of him as "an obnoxious prat whose head is as big as the Giant Squid" and didn't keep it a secret. She always dissed him in front of everyone whenever he asked her out. But James, the ever- patient, never gave up, and kept on asking her out.

Days went by, nights flew past, but everyday was the same- James asking Lily out, Lily declining and insulting him. So it is, the conclusion be-

SIRIUS!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! I DO NOT HAVE AN OBSSESSION ON LILY!

Hey, no one mentioned that. You admitted it yourself!

Sirius, I think you should go back to kindergarten. Your grammar is terrible.

What is kindergarten?

SIRIUS!

Yes? That is my name, I know.

Copycat! And kindergarten is a muggle school where children between the age four to six go to.

Um, hello! I'm a dog!

Oh yeah, forgot to mention.

The Marauders are illegal animagi, save for Remus. In fact, Remus was why they were animagi in the first place. Remus was a werewolf, therefore the others became illegal animagi to help him with the transformation, as having scents (of a non- human living thing) that he knows, helps the pain and torment of the transformation.

James was a stag and therefore nicknamed Prongs, Sirius, being a dog, was nicknamed Padfoot, Peter was called Wormtail as he was a rat. Remus was nicknamed Moony, due to his lycanthropy, because of which he turned into a werewolf every full MOON.

Huh, very SUBTLE.

The Marauders extremely disliked a certain boy with greasy skin, oily hair and a hooked nose. His name was Severus Snape, nicknamed "Snivellus" or "Snivelly"by the Marauders.

Incidentally, Severus Snape happened to be the best friend of Lily Evans-

Huh, Lily again!

- before Hogwarts and until her Fifth Year. Severus Snape was everything that was negative. He loved the Dark Arts and was a worshipper of You- Know- Who. He-

Hey, look! That's Lily Evans over there!

WHERE?

Ha! Thought you said you didn't like her! Obssession much?

...

Hey, Prongs! Where are you going? James! James!

A/N- Read and review, people!