(A/N: This is just a random drabble I wrote when I was feeling extra bored one day. It has no special meaning, and is just a 'what if' regarding Yamamoto sending Zaraki and Yachiru instead of Hitsugaya and Matsumoto to contact Ichigo during the school arc in Bleach.
Enjoy, although it probably sucks. :p )
DISCLAIMER:
Bleach and all its characters are property of Tite Kubo. This is purely something I did for fun, and I make no profit whatsoever from it.
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A Lapse in Judgment
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Some days, Yamamoto-Genryusai Shigekuni felt that being the highest-ranked commanding officer in Soul Society just was not worth it.
Today just happened to be one of those days.
Now, Yamamoto didn't mind his job. He felt that he was the one best suited to keep Soul Society from disintegrating in a million pieces over pointless infighting. However, there were times in which the stress of running the show got to him, and he had phenomenal lapses in judgment.
Like the one that caused the five-feet tall pile of damage reports to materialize on his desk.
It should have been a fairly harmless mission. It simply consisted in contacting Kurosaki Ichigo in the material world and observing his behavior for a while. However, things had apparently gone out of control when a fight broke out, which resulted in Karakura High School being completely leveled and most of Karakura proper being severely damaged, not to mention several Shinigami being hospitalized with cuts, stab wounds, bruises and internal injuries extensive enough even the 4th Division had a hard time patching everybody up.
The venerable elder sighed tiredly as his eyes shifted to the person responsible for the reports in question, who was currently wearing a maniacal grin as he stood there nonchalantly like nothing had happened. Not taking his eyes off Zaraki Kenpachi, Yamamoto addressed Unohana Retsu, who was quietly standing at his side.
"Remind me again, Captain Unohana. Why did I assign this mission to Captain Zaraki?" he asked rhetorically, clearly already knowing the answer, but wanting someone else to say it.
"Well, General," the quiet Captain answered, "as I recall, you were... to use a crude term... 'hopped up on the happy herbs'... and in a drug-induced haze, asked the first person who passed by, who happened to be Captain Zaraki, to undertake this mission."
Yamamoto groaned as he tiredly rubbed his temples, while Zaraki's grin widened slightly.
"What did I tell you about excessive amount of violence, Captain Zaraki?" the old man inquired. The giant shrugged.
"Not to cause it?"
"And what part of fifty civilians heavily injured, one building completely in ruins, several 11th Division Shinigami requiring heavy medical treatment and Representative Kurosaki in traction for a month is not excessive?"
Zaraki shrugged again, his grin becoming decidedly gigantic.
"Nobody died, right?"
In an uncharacteristic display of exasperation, General Yamamoto started banging his head on his desk.