I told you I am going crazy over NILEY. I'm really fed up with this whole thing between Miley, JB, Demi, & Selena, it's all just getting old and people need to forget about it. When I read what she told Seventeen Mag, I freaked out, but suddenly felt extremely heart-felt and saddened for Miley. She truly loved him, as for Nick, we will never know how he feels because he doesn't say a word about any of this. But I respect him, I respect them all. I hope you enjoy this, it's about how Miley is feeling about the break-up & how they repair their relationship.
"Fallen Angel"
It's no secret, one day it's heaven, one day it's hell. No such thing as you lost it all, God knows even angels fall. NILEY-ONE SHOT.
When I moved to Los Angeles, I thought my dreams would come true. Well, they did. But I wasn't expecting the extra baggage that came out of it. But could I really consider a broken and betrayed heart "extra baggage"? Maybe. But I most definitely could consider it the ride of hell.
But hey, even angels fall.
I sit in my bedroom right now, contemplating whether I should actually talk to him. It's not like we haven't said anything to each other for the past 7 months, because we have. It just hasn't been the same. No more runs to PinkBerry, no more random bike rides, no more late night talks on the phone when he knew something was bothering me.
We were together for over two years and if I wasn't with him 24/7, I was thinking about him. The tour was what brought us even closer, but it also tore us apart. It was great at first, being together all the time, but when you need a break from each other, there's no escape. You have to go out in front of thousands of people and flirt down the runway like nothing was happening. But there was something happening, something deeper than any of us could explain.
I slumped on my bed and all I wanted was to curl up next to him and listen to him tell me that he was "sorry" and "everything is going to be alright". But he never did, he never called me, he never gave me eye contact when we'd randomly spot each other. It was all a big joke and both of us were being stubborn and cruel to each other, only causing us pain that neither of us could recognize from silence.
I had been doing this ever since- just moping around, feeling lame and out of place. I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. Especially since I was stuck in a life with a day of scheduling that worked like clock work and I was sick of it. Why did the Hannah Montana franchise pandemonium never end? Oh yeah, because of money. It always is about the money. You rock Disney, I swear.
"Miley, seriously, do you want to talk about it?" Brandi asked from the stairs, looking down at her depressed sister.
"No," I replied with that as my final answer and shifted my body so that my back was facing her. I closed my eyes and pleaded for my body to shut down and go to sleep for just a few more hours.
And it listened.
Radio, let me be your DJ
I'll turn you up because we're moving 'till we're on a roll
Everyone is dancing to their own beat
And letting go, everybody here's got soul
She kissed him. It was so quick that anybody could miss it, but it was noticeable enough to go straight on to YouTube. It's not like they hadn't kissed before, of course they did, they were dating. But they hadn't shown their affection to that degree and Nick wanted to keep it that way. When Miley placed his lips on his cheek and tossed her hands through his hair, he smirked at her playfulness as he kept playing his guitar. But on the way back to the runway, reality hit him, and he suddenly saw what he was dealing with. This was a bigger deal than Miley ever thought, and she never realized what it would do to their relationship. She wished she could have just kept her lips to herself.
My eyes opened sharply, in a state of guilty panic. I ruined it. I ruined them. But then I started thinking and started to get angry at him. Why'd he have to be so sensitive? Just because I called him the 'cute and sensitive one' doesn't mean he has to actually follow through with it! I sighed and swung, my legs off the couch and rested them on the floor, my arms resting on her knees, my head in my hands. I sat there for a moment, just breathing and listening to the wild wind picking up outside.
Before the celebrity couple name, before the tour, before the break up, we were friends. We were best friends and I could honestly tell him anything I wanted and I knew I had his trust. We had each others backs, just because we needed each other more than anybody else. The bike rides, the trips to Pinkberry with friends – they're all gone and I still hold those memories close to my heart. I wished they were still reality, but they weren't and at this point, I felt that they never could be again.
I walked to the back door and looked through the glass. My forehead rested against the cold and I peered through it imaginatively. The image of him standing before me, with his hands in his pockets, and his lips pursed. His lips looked like a heart, I always remembered that. But he wasn't there and he never would be, and as the orange and brown leaves fell to the ground, they washed him away and dragged him down to the storm drain where everything else collected into a mess. I pulled away and wiped away the foggy mark my breathe made on the glass with my palm, and listened as more music echoed through the house.
It was our song.
As the words slipped through my ears, I whispered them under my breath. It was an uncontrollable feeling, it was how I always felt when I thought of him, and the stupid tears started falling from my eyes. I swiped them away with frustration, angry that they had to be there and leave the salty stains to remind me that I was broken and alone.
The house felt suffocating and the air-conditioning was unnatural and chilling, so I stepped outside into the calm day. The sky was a shade of gray, not blue, but not dark either. And the wind was picking up a bit at the same speed of my increasing heart rate. It reminded me of that day. The day we broke up. The day I decided to be different. I didn't need him, or did I?
"This is it?" Miley asked, extremely saddened, but refused to cry and show him her weaknesses. It was pouring rain outside, as they came to an agreement between each others feelings and wishes.
"I'm sorry Miley," Nick replied with his arms uncomfortably crossed and his eyes wandered. He was afraid to touch her, as if she'd fall apart any second.
"Yeah, me too. But please don't take the blame for this," she said, "It's my fault too."
"It just didn't work out," he sighed.
Miley looked down and whispered, "I'll always love you."
Suddenly I realized that I wasn't alone. I looked to the side of the yard and saw him over the fence, occupying himself with something, obviously just realizing that he too wasn't alone. His hand reached behind his neck and brushed through his curls, like he always does when he's nervous. He was caught, and he knew it.
I shouted towards him bravely, "How are you?"
"Fine, fine," he replied, "Are you doing alright?"
"Couldn't be better," I forced a big smile. There was no way that I was going to let him know that I was dying with out him.
"Great," he smiled back. He was now looking at me deeply, and it was sort of creeping me out. But Nick always made me feel like this, I just hadn't been familiar with it in a while.
"Wow," I let out a laugh, trying to lighten the mood, "I don't think we've talked like this in a while."
"Like what?"
"Like… normal. We aren't fighting. I don't want to attack you yet."
"Is that a threat?" he smirked.
"Maybe," I said as I stepped forward.
Nick cleared his throat and began, "You know, I heard your song."
"I heard your song too," I retorted back.
"Well," he sighed, "I really am 'sorry'."
"And I still like how you 'make me love you'," I added.
"Not hate?" he asked. His eyes looked into mine, they were so pure, so bright.
"Not anymore."
He smiled at that and I could tell that he was staring at me, even though I was trying to look away. Either I was going to burst out laughing or explode into tears, but I wasn't interested in which would happen. But I took the risk, because his eyes felt like piercing targets.
"What are you looking at?" I asked uncomfortably.
"You changed your hair. It's black," he said with a hint of disappointment in his tone.
When Nick and I broke up, I changed for my own good. I died my hair dark because all I wanted to do was erase any remnants of him. He loved when my hair was highlighted and I did it for him, but when we were over, all I wanted to do was turn myself into some dark, pasty freak and forget about him. I said I was rebelling. Not against the photos, but against him and what we were and would never become. I didn't want to be pretty anymore.
I snapped back to the reality of Nick staring at my face intently and replied, "Yeah. I guess I kind of wanted it… to reflect my mood. But I'm thinking of changing it back."
"You are?" He seemed hopeful.
"I'm sure of it."
I walked back into the house that night after spending some much needed personal time with Nick. We talked about everything that was needed to be touched upon- from his tour to my "scandals". He told me that he'd always be there for me. I hope he keeps that promise.
We just hung out in his basement, the both us enjoying our time-off and relief of knowing that things were easing between us. Joe and Kevin even made an appearance and I apologized to them for being so distant lately. Then again, we've all come to the conclusion that there is no one to blame in particular. Listening to both sides of a story is very crucial, and we just realized that the hard way.
I sat on the couch next to him and watched the sky darken outside. Physically, I felt so close to him, but in another sense, I've never felt so far away from gaining him back. But maybe gaining him back romantically shouldn't be my goal. I just want my best friend back, and I know he feels the same way.
"Nick," Miley began, "You know how people say things like, 'even angels fall'?"
"Yeah Miles, I do."
"But I've been thinking and-"
"Oh no, you thinking? That's dangerous," he added with a sarcastic smirk.
"Shut up, I think I've realized something very important."
"And what's that?"
"Even though angels do fall, it just takes another angel to get them back in the sky."
"I'll be that angel, Miley."
"You already are."
Please review!!
And I'm being an extremely good girl, I haven't listened to the Jonas album yet, even though all the songs are leaked. But I don't want to ruin the surprise for myself, so I'll just have to wait till Tuesday when I will be buying the album & may be seeing them. I'm off to go watch the Olympics, Happy 8-8-08!