Bachelorette party

"Bella get up!" Alice hissed at me through the window.

"Ugh Alice what are you doing here?"

"Did you think Edward was going to have all the fun tonight? I'm getting you ready for your bachelorette party. Hurry up and put the dress on everyone is waiting!"

"My what?!" I furiously stammered.

Great just great. A bachelorette party? This is close to what I would envision as my personal hell. I could only imagine what horrors would be awaiting me at this party. With the way Alice coordinated events like this every female in Forks would be at this party. Despite my lack of enthusiasm about the whole thing I quickly pulled the ivory white Satan dress over my head and strapped on my only pair of heals.

Seconds later, we were cruising down the road in Alice's vibrant yellow car. Before I knew it we were at the Cullen's house. I froze at the sight of Renee and Esme blowing up penis balloons.

I nearly growled and exclaimed "penis balloons Alice?!?! You have got to be kidding me! I'm not going in there!"

"First of all the balloons were you mother's idea. Secondly, don't make me carry you in there. I will if I have to. Besides it's not going to be a big deal I swear."

Ugh of course my mother would decide to embarrass me like this! Why couldn't I just spend the night with Edward? Instead of having a nice peaceful pre-wedding night practice session I was forced to face the most embarrassing thing ever; both of my mother's blowing up penis balloons.

I furiously entered the house with my crimson red cheeks burning as brightly as ever. I hoped that they could all tell I was not only mortified but quite aggravated as well. How could they do this to me?

"Now Bella I know you're probably upset but let your mom have a little fun before I watch my only child get married off at such a young age".

Great so NOW she chooses to make me feel guilty.

"Honestly mom does your idea of fun have to include all of this?"

It could not get much worse than this. Or could it? I answered my own question as I spotted Angela and Jessica proudly but hesitantly holding up a penis cake as if it was a prized possession of theirs. Then I saw a mountain full of gifts awaiting me on the table. Wonderful I cannot believe this is happening to me. What a nightmare!

"This is so embarrassing a cake and presents? What next a stripper?!?!"

oh no! Don't tell me they hired a stripper.

"Relax Bella there will not be any strippers" Alice chimed with a touch of charm.

The beautiful Rosalie entered the room with an amused look on her face. She too apparently had a gift for me which she tauntingly hung on the edge or her index finger. Hmmm was Rosalie starting to like me? After all she did come to my bachelorette party with a gift.

My bewilderment, shock, anger and embarrassment must have been visible because Esme came over and gave me a huge hug and soothed me by saying "don't worry we're just going to have a little fun and then let you get your beauty sleep."

I responded with a sigh and muttered under my breath "fun right".

Without much choice in the matter, I found myself playing bridal bingo, eating penis cake, and opening gifts.

First, I opened Alice's gift which was this mortifying black lacey piece of lingerie that she assured me I'd want during the honeymoon. Everyone snickered as I quickly placed the shameless piece of cloth back into the bag. I could barely look at the garment let alone think about wearing it "for Edward".

Then I opened mom's present which was a compilation of different family recipes. This gift would be brilliant for any normal couple but I did not foresee myself ever using this book. However I thanked her profusely and falsely reassured her that Id use the recipe book often.

Then I opened Rosalie's bag which contained a note that peeked out of a medium sized dull looking book. The note stated "Though this is not the path I'd choose I hope you and my brother live happily ever after." The book which I skimmed through quickly had advice on vampire relationships. Each Cullen wrote a chapter of advice for both Edward and I. Emmet's chaptered was titled "sex" what else could I expect from him?

I was nearly brought to tears as I thought how much effort Rosalie and the others must have put into creating this book.

Jessica and Angela watched excitedly as I opened their gift which was a beautifully framed picture of Edward and I slow dancing at the Prom. Angela must have thought of this idea because she sighed proudly as I showed my appreciation. Edward looked especially handsome in this picture. I loved seeing him in a suit. I certainly would keep this framed picture for my existence.

Lastly, Esme gave me a photo album which contained pictures of Edward and I with plenty of pages to spare for our wedding and honeymoon photographs.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm towards the party and gifts I expressed my gratitude for all the unnecessary presents and time each one of them put into this celebration. At about 11pm Renee, Angela, and Jessica headed out and I went up to sleep in Edward's room. I was pleasantly surprised by the note that was left for me on the bed.

The note stated "I tried to talk Alice and Renee out of the party. I'm sorry! I can't wait to finally be able to call you my wife. love always, Edward."

Just a few more hours and I would be with my angel again!