I'm enthralled with her and there is nothing that I can do about it. I've tried for years to rein in my feelings and growing admiration but nothing ever seems to quell the rapid beating of my heart when we are in the same room. My attempts at maintaining some form of mental function completely shatter whenever she graces me with a smile. I was drawn to her spirit right from the start. Her intelligence and determination are the external layers that many see but I see deeper. I don't reduce her to the physical shell of her sex but I lift her to soaring heights of wonderment in my mind.

She has been my coworker for the past six years… six wonderfully torturous years. Not torturous in a sense of pain.. well some pain but only in my heart but torturous because I was a married man and I was a faithful married man. I use the word "was" because I am no longer married. Going on 2 years now. I have sole custody of my two children Carl and Judith while their mother Lori gallivants around the country searching for the youth she supposedly lost when she married me.

Of course, I was upset about my divorce as it came out of the blue delivered via a mail courier to my place of work. Maybe it wasn't out of the blue maybe I was holding onto the idea of something that had run its course a long time ago. I don't know for sure but after it was all finalized my life became some sort of suspended moment on a constant loop. I was unable to move past this life change. I wasn't missing my ex-wife. I was missing the normalcy of my life. The complacency of routine. I mourned that loss. Now that it was gone I was floating helplessly in a fog of uncertainty. I buried myself into my work and my children. I overgeneralized my situation. I hardened my heart from feeling any emotion if only to protect myself from further disappointment. I was done with love and all of the grief and work it brought with it. Until one day, Michonne Devereaux rapped on my office door. I remember the morning that her beautiful smile pushed through the gloomy melancholy of my office.

"Good Morning," she said cheerily.

I was not happy about the interruption at first. I'm sure my face gave away my sour mood as I pulled myself from the large case file I was reviewing. I stopped the harsh retort that was trying to come across my lips when I saw the person who chose the worst possible time to interrupt me was the woman who I've admired from afar all of these years. I hadn't really seen her around the office since my divorce. I took to hiding out in my office only emerging for the random meeting or trip to the lunch room.

I saw her round almond shaped dark brown eyes scanning the mess that was my office. Scattered papers littered the top of my desk. My two small pictures of my children peeking out amongst the sea of post-it notes and papers. I crumpled inwardly under her mild scrutiny. My office was a vivid reflection of my life and current mood. Scattered, disorganized and dismal. I'm sure physically I matched my office as well. My beard was showing bits of grey here and there. My hair was neatly combed back but I was in a desperate need of a haircut as my dark curls were making their way to my shoulders. My dark blue suit and tie gave the impression of a well put together man but as they say, looks can be deceiving. I was a mask of my former self sitting at my cluttered desk with no unoccupied chair to offer to Michonne.

"Morning," I said my voice rough from lack of sleep and worry. I searched her eyes to make sure she wasn't put off about my image. She had two cups in her hands no doubt one was her signature Green tea beverage. I only know this because of the few rare encounters I had with her in the lunchroom. She would be in there with her panda shaped coffee cup letting her green tea steep as she chatted with other coworkers. I never took part in the conversation but I would listen to her pleasantly light melodic voice as she spoke.

We are both General Practice Attorneys even though I've reserved myself as of late to the paralegal side of the law world. My boss understanding my current emotional situation. I can't help but look at her with loving kindness only out of respect for our positions at the Kings County District Attorney's office although there is no rule against dating a fellow coworker I was not ready to open myself up to the idea of dating again.

"I came to say hello and to let you know that Deanna has teamed us together to work that Negan Hightower case."

"Oh… I didn't know that" I said perplexed. I absentmindedly ran my hand through my hair unaware that the one part of my appearance that wasn't in shambles was now a tousled mess of curls. I tried to remember when was the last time I spoke to Deanna.

"Well if you would have made it to the meeting this morning."

My face pinches at the thought that I missed another meeting "Crap… I completely forgot about it."

"No worries. I covered for you," she said as she walked to my desk sliding a stack of case files over to make space before placing the second cup on the edge of my desk.

"Why would you do that?" I was dumbstruck that she would stick her neck out for me so early on in this working relationship but I would soon learn that Michonne was good at surprising me.

She shrugged her shoulders "Since we are going to be working together we have to look out for each other. Don't you think?"

I nodded my head in agreement with the sentiment but still. I've worked alone for so long that having someone to share in the workload would take some time to get used to. But as I stared into her heart-shaped face I knew I would have no problem getting used to working with Michonne. "Yeah, I guess so… yeah, that sounds logical."

"Good. Now I brought you something to drink... it's just coffee. I didn't know if you drank tea so I took a chance on the next best thing." I could see her studying my features. Was she looking at the wrinkles on my face? I really hope she isn't.

"No coffee is fine. Thank you," I mumbled as I grabbed for the floral print cup. I see the steam rising from the small slit in the lid and not wanting to embarrass myself by spilling hot coffee on my suit I place the cup down again to give it time to cool. I cleared my throat nervously as I all of a sudden feel my mouth beginning to go dry "Uhm so did you want to take a seat and we can talk about the..."

"No, not right now. Let's start tomorrow. That will give you some time to... adjust," she said her tone was silvery as she exaggeratedly waved her hand around my cluttered office her mouth curved into a small smile. "We're going to be working together for a while so get it together Grimes." After that, she was gone. I fell back in my chair my heart racing and my mouth as dry as the desert. The smell of her perfume remained in my office long after she left. I could tell that my mood had lifted a bit and it was all because of her. From that moment on I was pulled from my pensive state and back into the world.

Michonne and I worked side by side tirelessly every day. Over the next few months, we started to get to know each other better. We found common ground with our children. Michonne had one son who was 6 years old and my two children who were still very young as well. Judith was 5 and Carl was 8. We spoke often about the ups and downs of snotty noses and tantrums. Since Judith and Andre were close in age we soon began to have play dates on the weekends when we had to work. We would either be at her house or mine. I preferred her place as it was a spacious two-story ranch style home with a large backyard. The kids would run around playing while we continued to work on our case. Carl was sometimes leading the charge in the raucous behavior but we didn't mind. The sound of little feet running and laughing made our long hours of pouring over our case not seem as tiresome.

Being that close to someone all the time you begin to learn more about them and their lives. I learned that she was also a recent divorcee and she shared joint custody of her son Andre with his father. I also learned that Michonne had a soul like no other. She was brilliant. Her mind was always brewing with ideas. She was intuitive to the needs of others but also to herself. She lived her life well and in the open. I saw the loving and vivacious goofball who likes pineapple on her pizza. Who likes to pad around her house in fuzzy slippers while drinking green tea. Being around her stirred my soul making me want to live again to walk in the world as my true self.

Even though she didn't know how being around her affected me I could see that she felt something as well. It wasn't in your face noticeable it was subtle seemingly innocent but the consideration spoke for itself. She would have a cup of coffee waiting for me made just the way I liked it when I came over or there would be a favorite sweet that I was craving. I would never have to ask. It was as if she could read my mind and I could read hers.

Soon I was able to finally come to terms with the reason why I was so despondent about my marriage ending. During those 8 years of my marriage, I was still waiting for real love to present itself. Or what I thought would be real love. I longed for the promised happiness that love pledged. I knew I was worthy of that love. I naturally wanted that connection with someone. I knew early on that I needed this connection from Michonne. Being around her made me forget all the hurt and pain that was in my life. In my past. I let go of the grief of my former life and I opened up to the possibility of finding love again.

This new found outlook did wonders for my life. Although it took some time I begin to slowly sink myself back into normal office life and camaraderie after heavy goading from Michonne. I was no longer the coworker hiding in his office.

After 8 long months of preparing for the case, we finally went to trial… and we won. It was validating to know that all our hard work helped placed Negan Hightower behind bars with no option for parole. Our win came the day before the company Christmas party. To show their extra appreciation for all of the hard work the entire office had done for the year. This year Christmas party was being held in a large ballroom of a luxury hotel. No expense was spared. The ballroom had a small dance floor and a full open bar. It was decorated in full festive Christmas cheer. People milled about with drinks in their hands, Santa or elf hats on their heads and smiles on their faces. The law firm was ending a very successful year on a high note.

I could see that the party was well on its way to being one for the books. Legal Analysts Maggie and Glenn were kissing sloppily at one of the many Christmas themed decorated tables with Maggie sitting on top of his lap. Deanna's Administrative Assistant Rosita was leaving the party with file clerk Gabriel in tow. I chuckled as I watched her palm a hefty chunk of his ass as she planted an innocent kiss to the side of his mouth. I could tell Gabriel was shocked at her boldness but Rosita has had her eyes on him for a while. Seeing everyone freely enjoying themselves just validate what I had planned for the evening. I wanted to be happier and over these past 8 months, I was happiest when I was with Michonne. That's why I was determined to ask her out on a real date this evening.

I watch the entrance waiting for her to arrive rubbing my hands along on my dark denim pants smoothing unseen wrinkles. I clutch my first beer of the evening sipping from the long neck of the dark pilsener. I usually don't drink but I knew I was going to need something to help settle the fluttering in my stomach. I stop stalking the main entrance after about 30 minutes figuring she must be busy with something else and unable to get away. I was disappointed but not deterred. I resolved to not over-personalize the situation and let this hiccup ruin the evening. I push my plan of bearing my feelings to her to the back of my mind as I enjoy the perks of the open bar.

When I see her entering the hall I am buzzing. She looked incredible. Her svelte figure was dressed in a pair of dark skinny jeans, low heels, and a lite blue plunging scoop top.

I see her searching the room. I don't know if she is looking for me but God I hope she is. Taking that as my cue I make my way over to her maneuvering through the tables and people of the room. When I get closer I see her face brighten as she spots me. That dazzling smile shining brightly in the semi-dark room. I smiled back trying to match the intensity of her thousand-watt smile.

"Hey sorry I'm late I had to…" she starts.

I cut her sentence off as I pull her into my arms one hand against her lower back and the other grasping gently behind her neck. I lower my mouth to kiss her on her full lips. I feel her stiffen in my arms. Shit, I pray she reciprocates if not I may just combust here in this room from embarrassment. I let my lips rest against hers not wanting to do more than just feel the warmth of her lips and body. I feel the small push of her lips against mine as she responds. I inhale deeply as my arms tighten around her body. She moans softly against my lips and I feel my body react for the first time in a long time to physical arousal. I've always been attracted to Michonne but I've never acted on it. Now after months of floating in her orbit growing to appreciate her more and more. I was ready to hopefully take this further. When we break our kiss I gaze into her dark brown eyes. The uneasiness of what I would find tightened my insides. She kissed me back but that doesn't really means she wants me ...does it? I look into the pools of her eyes and I could see the desire stirring in the depths. She desired me as much as I desired her.

" Well hello to you…" she said breathlessly.

I place my index finger against her mouth as I continue to hold her close. Her eyebrows crease as my finger lingers against her flawless red currant covered lips.

"I want to ask you something before I lose my nerve."

Her lips parted slightly as she mumbles a confused 'ok'. I love the feel of her soft mouth against my lone digit and I want to kiss her again but I have to remain focused before I lose my courage.

"Will you go out with me? On a real date. No kids. Just you and me. We can go anywhere you want but please just say yes because this has taken every bit of liquid courage I could muster just to approach you tonight." My words were just spilling from my mouth so fast that I act didn't think she understood me.

She wraps a hand around my wrist and pulls my finger away. Her eyes gleam as a small smile appears.

"I would love that."

I audibly release a sigh of relief " Thank god," I say excitedly. "Can I ask one more thing?"

She arches her perfectly shaped brow.

"Can I kiss you...again?"

"I thought you would never ask."

I feel my soul stir as I take her in my arms again pulling another kiss from her. This time she is relaxed and pliable from the beginning. Despite my fear of returning to a life of loneliness, I feel whole as I grasp her. I slid my tongue across her lower lip asking for entrance into her. She parts her lip allowing my tongue to probe the cinnamony warmth of her mouth and I greedily devour her.

At this moment the possibility of finding love has come into my full view. It is pulsing hard and heavy in my chest uncurling itself around me as my hands roam up and down Michonnes firm back. I feel new and whole. My lingering fears are gone and I am ready to move forward. I move my hands from her back boldly caressing down lower to her ample backside. I grasp both cheeks gently squeezing. I'm rewarded with a shocked gasp. She breaks our kiss and leans back in my arms.

"So your place or mine," she says huskily.

I reach into my back pocket and pull out a grey key card with the Hotels name embossed on the front. The paper slipcover had the numbers 2469 written on it

"I planned ahead."

With that, she leads us out of the noisy company function and towards the main lobby elevators. My future now open to the wonderful possibilities of real love.