Another song-fiction, this time with the song "BreakEven" by The Script. I decided to put together two of my favourite parings TomKat and HenKat... And of course, as you'll discover reading, it's AU. I hope you like it:)
BreakEven
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in…
Hands joined, eyes fastened on the ground and tears pouring from them: it wasn't the pious and devout Catherine of Aragon and neither her new husband Thomas More; no one could have ever guessed that the person knelt for more than a hour in front of the Cross in the Royal Chapel was right the King Henry, that through the last years seemed to no care too much about religion. And maybe not even now he cared really that much about that God, if not as the only confident and friend that maybe he could turn to.
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
It was over. Anne Boleyn, the woman who stole his heart and also his brain, and that he challenge everything to, was dead and he had been the one to condemn her: he finally opened his eyes and saw how much hurt he had actually caused to his Kingdon, his sweet daughter Mary, the pearl of his world, to his true friends and first of all to his former Queen. It was over and he felt empty. It was like he woke up after a digression lasted ten years, and now he was turning back, he was again the same Henry that he was before that spring of 1526 when he had met the youngest Boleyn girl; but in the meanwhile the world around him didn't stop spinning. Now he had only time, still time that couldn't give to him the past and Catherine was free from every duty to him, she had freedom. And she had decided to use it.
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first;
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even
The pain the King was feeling increased every time he thought about the ceremony held just a week before: the last thing he would have wanted to attend, but that he was feeling he should have to. Because since that day he would have always been there for her, as he never had before, only that he would have not played the same role in her life. He had given to her properties, the title of Duchess, he had suddenly made her the richest and most important woman of England and he had also encouraged her marriage with his friend Thomas, who he raised to nobility to, only because Henry knew that he would have treated her with all the respect and the love she deserved and that he really loved her as nobody else could do. As the King had ever seen somebody love someone else.
"I, Catherine, take you Thomas as my husband…"
The words his first wife had pronounced on the altar in that moment were mixing in the head of the King with the one she had pronounced years before, only that the name on her lips was different, as different was the smile. The smile she gave to Thomas was the one of a free woman, that only asked to be happy. And that knew she would have been.
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
"Your Majesty, I knew I would have found you here…"
Henry looked up quickly hearing that voice and when he found in front of him the figure of the woman that his thoughts had been for all that time focused about, he couldn't prvent himself to smile with bitterness.
"There's no need of such formalities when we are alone, Catherine" he softly warned, standing up and stopped her from making a bow.
She simply nodded, then approached him and put her hands on his arms with a sad expression on her face. The closest contact they had for a long time, even since before the end of their marriage.
"I'm sorry for Anne…" she murmured looking at him.
Henry smiled with irony this time: he just couldn't understand how Catherine was able to say those words and really mean them, when he who loved Anne for ten years or at least he believed so, couldn't feel the minimal sense of remorse.
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces..
"I'm so sorry too…" he whispered then in answer "But not for Anne…" added taking her hands.
It was his way to say "sorry", even if he would have never formally apologize.
Catherine caressed his face softening even more her expression, and he didn't move aside. It was like if for a moment they were again like before, but it was just a moment. Because there were only two people she had shown her soft and fragile side to: one was Henry himself, the other Thomas that surely would have had the way to see more that side and he would have also know how to appreciate it.
"You don't have to be sorry for me… Now we're even" Catherine said removing her hand from his face and letting shine the wedding ring on her left ring-finger.
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
Henry subtly shook her head while he watched her going away.
…Oh it don't break even no…