A/N: So my muse won't start for my other stories so I thought I'd give a try at a parody. Anyways these are random blurbs. The characters are almost always OOC… but it's my first shot at humor.

Disclaimer: All recognizable material belongs to its rightful owners.

~ONE~

"Arya?"

"Yes mother?"

"Who's this?" asked Islanzadí while holding up a picture of a blonde elf.

"Er.. He's Legolas."

"He's not an elf that I know."

"Yeah, that's because we met on Facebook. He says he lives in a place called Mirkwood in a land called Middle Earth." Arya paused and put on a 'I'm-helplessly-in-love' face and said," He's sooo dreamy. And he's a prince and I'm a princess. We're made for each other."

"What? Like Barbie and Ken?" asked Islanzadí sarcastically.

~TWO~

"How old are you?" asked Eragon.

"It's very rude to ask a woman her age," said Arya.

"Will you just answer the question! You're ruining the moment!"

"Fine. One-hundred."

"How long have you been 100?" asked Eragon.

"A while. See I was born on a leap year…"

~THREE~

"You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Nasuada Nightstalker. The creatures are REAL. The cases are REAL. The rulings are FINAL."

~FOUR~

"How are we going to capture the last egg?" asked Nasuada. The room was silent.

"42?" asked Eragon.

~FIVE~

"You shall die!" yelled Galbatorix.

"No, you shall die!" yelled Eragon as their swords clashed.

Ring. Ring.

"One sec. I have to take this. It'll only be a minute," said Eragon. "Hello? Arya! Did you get the last dragon egg? No. Really? Come on! You're kidding me! Really? No. Oh my gosh, really? No, really?"

Galbatorix growled. "Oh, sorry. I gotta go. I'm using up all my minutes and I have to battle. Ok. No, I love you more. Buh-bye!" Eragon put the cell phone in his pocket that randomly appeared. "Now where were we? Right. I shall bring peace!" They were about to start battling again when…

Ring. Ring.

"I promise you. Last time. I'll turn it off after this," said Eragon. "Hey, Arya. Honey, I'm a bit busy right now. Yeah. I'm fighting Galbatorix. Yeah. He was all like, 'You're going to die!' and I'm all, 'Nuh-uh!' and he was all 'Yuh-huh.'

A bolt of lightning flew from Galbatorix's finger and struck the phone.

"Aww, come on, man! I just got that iPhone like two days ago! Now I have to wait until Christmas so I can ask Santa for a new one!"

~SIX~

"Do I have to?" groaned Murtagh.

"Yes. Now come on! Cheer up! You can't stay emo forever, Murty," said Eragon.

"My name isn't M-"

5,4,3,2

"Hi! I'm Eragon!"

"And I'm Murtagh," he grumbled.

"We're interrupting your show, Dragons vs. Werecats, to bring you this message," said Eragon. A Pillow Pet randomly appeared in his hands.

"It's a pillow, it's a pet. It's a Pillow Pet!"

~SEVEN~

"Eragon," said Arya trying to wake the sleeping rider. A purring noise escaped his lips. "Did you just purr?"

"What?" asked Eragon as we woke up.

"I heard you purring."

"Oh, sorry. Sometimes my cat- I mean dragon- takes over my body."

~EIGHT~

"What do you do? You just keep flying, flying, flying," sang Eragon.

~NINE~

"Oh. My. Gosh!" yelled a fan girl. "I can't believe it! A real life vampire! His eyes are red, he sparkles, and he has fangs!" she yelled while pointing at Thorn.

~TEN~

"I'm just so sad after Glaedr and Oromis' deaths," said Eragon to Roran.

"I know just the thing to cheer you up. One minute," said Roran and left. A few moments later, he came back wearing a banana suit. "IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!"

A/N: I just thought of these things at like 2am… so yeah… anyways. Review if you want. Tell me your fav(s) or give me a suggestion.