9LEGAL NOTICE/AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANY ACTUAL PERSON OR PERSONS IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ANY ACTUAL REAL LIFE EVENT OR EVENTS IS LIKEWISE COINCIDENTAL. GUMI IS THE PROPERTY OF INTERNET CO. LTD. AVANNA AND SONIKA ARE THE PROPERTY OF ZERO-G LIMITED. ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS. I DO NOT CLAIM THE OWNERSHIP OF ANY CHARACTER THAT APPEARS IN THIS STORY. WELL AT LAST HERE'S GUMI'S SIDE OF THINGS. SHOWING A PART OF HER TIME IN ENGLAND. AND HOW SHE FINALLY CAME TO REALIZE HER TRUE FEELINGS FOR HER BEST FRIEND.
A YEAR WITHOUT RIN
(BY: INVID HELLCAT 3/15/16)
My name is GUMI, I've been in England as an exchange student for about two weeks now. I'd say I've gotten used to the time difference, and more or less settled into a normal daily routine. The first couple days were hard trying to adjust to a new country and new customs, a new language, and a new time zone. The first day was the roughest. After I got picked up by my host SONiKA, and her girlfriend AVANNA, I was so tired from the flight I was barely able to stand up straight. After some good sleep I was able to start getting everything organized and I put in a call to my best friend back home Kagamine Rin.
Me and Rin have been friends for a very long time now she's my best friend in the world. Although it kind of hurts me to know that she's head over heals in love with me, and I don't feel the same. Don't get me wrong like I said she's my best friend and I love her dearly, I'm just not in love with her is all I'm saying. Despite the fact that our friends, especially her twin brother Len, constantly tease us. Yes, I do admit I've let her do things to me that to some others might seem strange, but it's a part of our friendship. Although many times I've wished that any of my ex-boyfriends would've kissed me with half as much passion and love as Rin kisses me with. I feel my cheeks grow warm as I think about the last kiss we shared before I left.
Also I remember the words spoken to me by my good friend Luka, she warned me that without meaning to the way me and Rin carry on our friendship might wind up hurting one or both us. I'd never hurt Rin, and I know that Rin would never hurt me either. She told me that while I'm in England that I need to think about exactly what type of relationship I want with Rin. I know that Rin likes girls romantically, but I don't. I know that I don't. I also know that I can't imagine life without Rin. She's been such a source of stability for me, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. Through all of my breakups and bad times she's been there for me.
I still remember the day she first told me she was in love with me. We were in my computer room and I had just broken up with my then boyfriend. I was a mess and in tears, Rin just held me, rubbed my back, and told me that everything would be o.k. Then after I settled down she started to cry telling me it wasn't fair that I always seemed to be denied happiness, then she told me that she loved me as more than a friend. I smiled at hearing that it really and truly made me happy. I was just sorry that I couldn't return her feelings, but she'd be my best friend forever. She told me that didn't matter that I didn't feel the same. Although she did ask me if it would be ok to kiss me once. I told her yes, and honestly it was the best kiss I'd ever been given. Of course as time went by we kissed many, many more times.
Anytime she'd stay the night with me we always wound up sleeping in the same bed. No nothing ever happened beyond some snuggling, cuddling and kissing. Well, Rin might've felt me up a few times, but honestly that's as far we've gone. It was always nice the next morning waking up and seeing her face first thing. I did try to play cupid for Rin a couple times but it never seemed to work out. I don't know maybe it was my own bad luck rubbing off on those attempts, but I really want to see Rin happy. Although sometimes I've found myself thinking that having Rin as my best friend is so many times better than having a boyfriend. I guess you could say that we have a romantic two girl friendship as they would call it in fiction. I know it's only been a couple of weeks since I've been in England but when it comes to Rin I feel like I haven't seen her in years.
I run my fingers over an earring in my left ear it was a gift from Rin for my birthday last year. It's in the shape of a carrot, my favorite food. I then run my fingers over my right earring. I feel my heart start beating faster somehow by touching the earrings that Rin-chan gave me I feel like she's standing next to me. I even let her put them on me the first time. That was the gift that she gave in private, the gift I opened in front of everybody was a skirt that I said I really liked. After, she put the earrings in my ears she leaned forward and gave me a kiss. Then well she gave me my birthday spanking, yeah I know some people might find that strange but, I've given her a birthday spanking too on her birthday, so it's just another thing that's normal for us. I've never kissed Rin-chan myself unless I'm returning a kiss she gave me. I'm really going to miss a lot of things this year. Like Rin's birthday. It'll be the first time since we met that I won't be there. Christmas and New Years too. It'll be our first "Holiday Season" apart. As well as our first Valentine's Day, but I guess the cool thing will be when I return home. We can make up for lost time, and I'm really looking forward to that.
I took a tour of London earlier today with SONiKA and AVANNA, I saw the clock that houses Big Ben, I say that because SONiKA told me that the Clock Tower itself is not Big Ben, but rather that's the name of the bell that's inside the clock. The entire time I kept wishing that Rin was with me. I miss all of my friends and wish they could be here, but Rin-chan is the one I want the most to share this with. It makes sense you know she is my best friend after all.
It's dusk now and I'm sitting on the balcony of SONiKA's apartment. The view is so beautiful. Her apartment is right on a lakeside. It almost looks as if the sun is just melting into the lake. I take out my cell phone and take a picture I really should send this to Rin. Well, maybe I should send this to all of my friends honestly. I hear the sliding glass door behind me open.
"Hey GUMI, what're you doing out here?" I hear SONiKA ask as she takes a seat across from me.
"Just admiring the view this place is just so beautiful SONiKA. I wish I had a view like this back home." I say with a sigh.
"I really wish Rin-chan was here to see this." I add before I realize what I just said.
"Yeah, this view is one of the things that sold me on this flat. Rin she's your best friend right? You've mentioned her name a lot today." SONiKA tells me.
I guess I never thought about that during the course of the day, but I can't deny what SONiKA just said I did mention Rin a lot. Despite the fact that I have so many really good friends. Rin's name just keeps popping up. Well, it does make sense since I'm closer to her than anybody else.
"Yeah she's my best friend. I guess that's why I keep mentioning her." I reply. SONiKA mentions that I'm blushing. I'm sure that only caused me to blush deeper.
I hear a giggle from her. Why do I have feeling that I know what she's going to say next? She probably going to tell me that I'm really 'In Love' with Rin, but I'm just in denial for one reason or another. I don't mean to sound snippy here, but honestly how times do I have to explain that I don't like girls before people understand that?
"In a way you remind me of myself before I started dating AVANNA. It was my best friend BIG AL that first suspected that maybe I had more than just friendly feelings for her." She said as she took a sip of tea.
"At first I denied it like crazy, but then I realized that he was right. Kind of funny though before I met AVANNA I never had so much as a crush on a girl before. I had a two boyfriends but I never even guessed that I was even capable of liking another girl. Now here we are a very happy couple with plans of moving in together after we graduate." SONiKA continued.
I do remember her mentioning something like that in our letters, and our online chats. There's no way that can be me towards Rin though can it? I know that I can't imagine life without Rin, but I honestly can't imagine us as more than just friends. That should be the end of the discussion so why isn't it? Is there more? Is there something that I'm not taking into consideration here? I know I'm not scared of our friends rejecting us if we did date. I mean after all Miku and Teto have been dating for quite some time, and Lily and IA are also dating. Not to mention the fact that most of our friends honestly already think that we're dating anyways.
"Now I know that my situation and yours are different. I hope you don't think that I'm trying to talk you into anything here, but maybe you should at least consider the fact that though you say you don't like girls, maybe, just maybe Rin is the exception, but don't worry GUMI my opinion of you won't change no matter what happens." SONiKA finishes saying.
Now there's something I never had thought of before. Maybe nobody else thought of it because they were too close to the situation. Too close to me and Rin. It's at least worth thinking over, but I'm sure that it's not like that.
"Well, I guess I could do that. I've never thought of it that way before. But, SONiKA I'm sure that's not it at all. I know that I do not like girls like that including Rin-chan." I reply quickly.
"But I will at least give it some thought after all I still have nearly a year before I return home." I then continue.
SONiKA just smiled at me and me said that's all she wanted me to do just sleep on it and think about it. The rest of the time we spend outside we just make idle chit-chat. When I went into my bedroom and laid down and looked at a picture of Rin that I took of her. I can't help but think of how lucky I am to have her as my best friend, and I find myself thinking about how cute she looks in this picture. In truth I think she's down right beautiful. Wait what am I thinking? I mean yeah I always thought she was a cute girl, but why did I just think she's beautiful? I've never thought that about her before. I must be more tired than I think I am. I close my phone and put it on the nightstand next to my bed. I turn off the light and close my eyes. My thoughts are of my beautiful Rin-chan.
I wake up the next morning feeling like I just had a strange dream. The dream was about me and Rin, and well it's kind of embarrassing to say exactly what happened in that dream. I guess that talk with SONiKA last night just put my mind in a whirl. I know me and Rin have done some of the things in my dream but, I'd never do all of those things with her. Although I guess if it was my Rin-chan I wouldn't mind at all if it happened just once.
Wait…full stop GUMI. My Rin-chan? I wouldn't mind doing that once if it was with her? Just what the hell am I thinking? Yes, I admit to a bit of curiosity about being with another girl sexually, but I'm not curious enough to want to act on it even with my Rin-chan. And, there I go again. Why do I keep thinking "my Rin-chan", it makes no sense.
The rest of the day goes by pretty normally. AVANNA stayed over for dinner tonight. The two of them thought that I looked a bit distracted all day. I just told them that I had a lot on my mind. Of course SONiKA had to tease me about Rin.
"What do you think sweetheart? I think our dear GUMI is in L-O-V-E." SONiKA said in a sing-song voice to AVANNA.
"Yeah, all she was able to talk to about yesterday and today was Rin. It sort of reminds me of myself right before we started dating all I could talk about it seemed it was a certain green-haired girl I knew." AVANNA replied as she flashed SONiKA a flirty smile.
I could feel my cheeks grow warm at their little flirtatious exchange. Is that really me now? Has Rin really become so important to me she's all I can think of, all I can talk about? I put my hand to my forehead. I feel my heart racing. I think about everything that's happened between me and Rin since we first met. We became friends almost instantly, it was her I went to first after my first boy friend broke up with me. It was her I went to first every time I had a relationship end. Rin is the only person I've slept in the same bed with, although other than a little bit of kissing and cuddling, and well maybe the occasional time of Rin fondling my breasts nothing happened between us. She's the only person I've taken a bath or shower with. Well, the last time I don't know if you really call it a bath, since all we really did was hold and kiss each other the entire time. Yes, I've spoken with my other friends about my failed relationships, and gotten help and advice from them, but it's always been Rin first.
Suddenly I feel like I just got hit by a ten ton anvil. I cover my mouth and nose with my hands. I close my eyes and lower my head a bit. I slowly let out a breath. I feel my eyes start to moisten a bit. Then the truth of it all comes at me like a flash of lightning, before I know exactly what happened I find myself saying:
"I love her, I really do love her. All this time, I've been trying to hide the truth from myself." After I said that I feel somehow lighter, like some kind of burden I was carrying without realizing it had been lifted off my shoulders.
When I reopen my eyes I see SONiKA and AVANNA smiling at me I also have the mental image of Luka looking at me and telling me "that it's about damn time."
"So, you finally figured it out huh?" I hear SONiKA say.
"Yeah, honestly I think I've known all along, but I don't know I guess I was scared to admit it to myself." I say in reply.
I feel AVANNA put a hand on my shoulder, and then take me into a loose hug.
"Yeah, I was the same for a little while I think I knew that I was in love with SONiKA but I was just too scared to say it out loud. I was afraid that saying it would somehow ruin the friendship we did have, and I lose her completely." AVANNA says to me.
"Yeah, thinking on it I think that's exactly how I was feeling. Kinda silly and stupid huh?" I answer.
SONiKA and AVANNA just shake their heads.
"No, I'd say it's just being human." SONiKA says as she too hugs me.
"When I get the chance the first thing I'll do when I get back to Japan is tell Rin how I feel about her. Tell her that I do want her as my girlfriend." I say.
"Well, if she still wants me that is." I add some uncertainty creeping into my voice.
"GUMI somehow I doubt that will be an issue at all. From what I heard you say about her I think she's the kind of girl that will wait until the end of time itself for you." SONiKA tells me.
I only nod my head in agreement.
Two weeks down and fifty more to go until I return home. Fifty weeks until I can see my Rin-chan again. Fifty weeks until I can confess my feelings to her face to face. Yeah I know I could tell her over the phone or in an online chat, but it just wouldn't be the same. Something like this needs to be said in person. Especially since I know that Rin has been waiting and hoping for so long that I'll say those words. I have no idea how she'll react when I finally do tell her, but I'm sure she'll feel like the luckiest girl to ever walk the face of the Earth. I know that's how I felt when we first became friends; despite or maybe in spite of all my bad luck with guys, my friendship with Rin has made me feel so incredibly lucky. I wonder how that feeling will grow when she calls me her girlfriend for the first time?
THE END.
END NOTES: Wow, this one took me forever had a lot of stops and starts and a lot of writer's block and writer's blah on this one. Feels great to finally finish this one. I figured that since I wrote a story about Rin while GUMI was in England I might as well show GUMI's side of things as well. Anyways I hope that you enjoyed and I do hope that you R&R Peace out for now, Invid HellCat (10-15-17)