Disclaimer: I make no money from writing this. I just want to do something to honor this glorious day, the day the world was blessed with Ms. Yvonne Strahovski.
A/N: So this started out as a story that would've been completely different. Yes, it started out as something many of you would NEVER read, haha. And if you know me, you probably know what I mean by that. But when I started writing, the story just kind of came to me, and wrote itself, and it morphed into something else. Something more angsty, something that didn't involve any smut. Just something else entirely. So that's what it became, and hopefully it's still good in this form, haha. This is, of course, written for Yvonne Strahovski's birthday, so let me say one time for the record: Happy Birthday Yvonne!
Alone on Her Day (or Maybe Not)
She was eleven when her father gave it to her. A simple doll, nothing spectacular. And honestly, she was a little too old for it when she got it. And Sarah had always been more into boyish things. Bikes, sports and the like. That would've been a more fitting birthday present. But then, it wasn't really a birthday present.
As part of a con, Sarah was to act younger than she actually was. She was small for her age, but her father had told her many times that she'd eventually get a lot bigger. In retrospect, he was exactly right. It was during her eleventh year that she went from being an undersized little squirt to a tall but awkward, gangly, lanky young woman.
But at the time, she was still the squirt, and she could pull off being an eight year old. So he gave her a doll as a prop to sell being younger, and he'd left her in the middle of a crowded amusement park, hoping to lure unsuspecting good Samaritans into help, and distracting them just enough while he helped himself to their belongings.
The plan had worked like a charm. Her father's plans almost always did. But when it was over, Sarah held onto the doll. It was her birthday, and even if it wasn't intended as such, she thought of it as a birthday present from her daddy. It was the only thing he'd ever given her on her day. He usually just said that "special days are for suckers" and left it at that. But she'd be a sucker if it meant she got to feel special for a little while. And so she kept that doll with her all through adolescence, when she went away to Harvard, when she became a CIA agent. Always. It was like her version of a security blanket, and she wasn't ready to let it go. It was a reminder that one time, one year, someone had remembered, even if it wasn't true.
So Sarah sat alone in the bedroom she shared with Chuck and held the doll close to her chest.
Huh. Chuck. Just thinking about him usually made Sarah smile. Finally, she had someone that loved her as much as her daddy had. Maybe more, because Chuck never thought of Sarah as a tool to further his plots and plans. But still, Chuck, as much as she thought he loved her, hadn't done anything for her birthday.
True, she hadn't told him when it was, but he should've been able to figure it out. He could pull anything else he wanted from that stupid Intersect, why couldn't he check to see her date of birth? Did he not care enough to check? And him figuring out on his own just seemed more romantic in Sarah's mind. She was starting to think she'd made a miscalculation there. But she still felt hurt.
Sarah wasn't sure what she should do, what she should want to do. Should she get drunk? Isn't that what normal people did when they were feeling down? It's what Casey did. It's what Casey told Chuck to do. But Sarah wasn't normal, she wasn't Chuck, and she certainly wasn't Casey. And she also wasn't a big drinker. A cocktail here and there, usually while on mission, maybe a beer or two to wind down, but she wasn't the type to drown her sorrows in a bottle.
She could try crying and sleeping. She'd cried herself to sleep many times over the years. When she was a very young girl, she'd cried herself to sleep in the car, on the way to a new town when she'd just made friends in the old town. She cried herself to sleep every night for a month after her father was arrested. She cried herself to sleep after Matthew-her first boyfriend that she met in college-dumped her after she'd given him her virginity. She cried herself to sleep for months on end after her "red test". That is, when she could even manage sleep around the nightmares. She cried herself to sleep when Bryce died, the first time. She cried herself to sleep when Bryce came back, and she was forced to choose between her old flame and Chuck, the new guy in her life that she couldn't help but care for. She cried herself to sleep when Chuck uploaded Intersect 2.0, just when it looked like they could finally be together. And she'd cried herself to sleep when Chuck left her on a train platform in Prague.
Crying herself to sleep had always been her escape. She wouldn't wake up feeling any better, but while she was asleep, at least she couldn't think about whatever made her sad to begin with. But she couldn't do it this time. No, she wouldn't do it this time. She'd be strong. She didn't need to have anyone remember her birthday. It wasn't like anyone had ever remembered anyway.
Sarah was suddenly torn from her thoughts by a loud clattering coming from the living room. She broke free of her pity party for one, and switched back to spy mode. Grabbing her gun from the bedside table, she wiped away the tears she wouldn't acknowledge were there, and gingerly eased her way across the room to the door.
She opened the door slowly and peered out. She didn't see anyone, anything, so slowly, she eased out the door, keeping her back flat against the wall.
When she reached the living room, she still didn't see anyone. Had she been hearing things? But no, something was different.
Then she noticed it. There were balloons tied to chairs, streamers running along the ceiling, and a big banner that proclaimed "Happy Birthday Sarah!" Wait, what?
Before she had time to even react to what she saw, she was startled as people started jumping out at her and yelling. "Surprise," they shouted, but Sarah was far too on edge to even notice what was being said.
She aimed her weapon at the center of the mass of humanity and prepared to pull the trigger on…
"Chuck?" she asked, surprised.
Chuck swallowed nervously, seeing the gun in her hand. "Sarah?" he squeaked. "Um, happy birthday?"
Sarah blushed with embarrassment. All that time, she'd been depressed that everyone had forgotten her, but in fact, they were planning a party? And for their trouble, she'd trained a gun on them?
"Put the gun away, Walker," Casey grunted from behind her.
Sarah nodded mutely and placed her weapon on the kitchen counter next to her.
"How'd you know?" she asked Chuck, who was cautiously approaching her.
But it wasn't Chuck that answered. "Bartowski's been bugging me about your birthday since you two got back from your little European vacation. I told him I didn't know and didn't care when it was."
"Uh-huh," Sarah said.
"But anyway," Chuck said, cutting in. "I started trying to get in touch with people you know. I tried your dad first, but he's a tricky man to find."
"Yeah, he is," Sarah admitted.
"I asked Beckman, but she said it was in your sealed personnel file, and she couldn't let me see it."
Sarah was glad her superior was protecting her identity with such force. True, she wouldn't mind the general letting Chuck see her file, but knowing that she was protected from everyone, even Chuck made her feel more secure.
"Then I got a call one day," Casey said, taking the story back over. "Bartowski had apparently left a message with—"
"Me," said a voice Sarah knew all too well. A voice, and a face she never expected to see.
"Carina?" she asked.
"Happy birthday, Sarah Jane," Carina said, smiling brightly.
"You told them when my birthday was?" Sarah asked disbelievingly.
"Of course," Carina said. "What, I was going to let my best friend in the whole world go without a proper party?"
"You never threw me a party before," Sarah pointed out.
"I never had someone else to do all the work for me," Carina said, shrugging. "Thanks for that, by the way, Chuckie."
"You're welcome?" Chuck said.
Carina crossed the room and threw her arms around Sarah's neck. Sarah hugged her back, firmly. Carina kissed Sarah's cheek, and then said, "Now go enjoy your party, okay?"
"Okay," Sarah said, giving Carina one last squeeze before turning and hugging her boyfriend. Then Morgan. Then Ellie and Devon. Even Casey got a hug, despite his token resistance.
And for the first time in her life, Sarah knew she had someone, or lots of someones in fact, that cared about her. For the first time, Sarah knew she'd have a happy birthday.
A/N: Again, happy birthday Yvonne! For those of you who were hoping for some smut, I do apologize. It just wasn't working for me that way. But hopefully you were still able to enjoy this a little bit. And hopefully you'll all let me know what you think, yeah? You guys are awesome. Peace.