The Unholy Momo Challenge

by Katolika at Filipina

One night, Father Dougal does the Momo Challenge. Will he and the gang be safe? Will Momo still live? Read to find out...if you dare.

A/N So, on Christmas Day, my cousin and I watched a video by AldosWorld TV on YouTube. In that video, Aldo did the Momo Challenge. You know, texting and calling Momo on WhatsApp. It went horribly wrong. It scared the s**t out of us. At night, I was watching YouTube videos at home. Then, I found a clip containing Father Ted to be racist. Tbh (To be honest), it's funny. I discovered that this was a TV show. I went on to YouTube to find more videos about this show. The result was graceful: I had more laughs. Basically, I had this idea while I was sleeping. Without further ado, let this fanfiction start!

It was a dark and stormy night. Anybody out on the streets during this terrible weather would experience disgraceful things like illness, being struck by thunder and more. Luckily, Father Ted and his usual companions are safe in the Parochial House.

As of now, Father Jack is drowning his throat with Whiskey in his place in the living room. It's undeniable that he's having pleasure from this despite being a priest of the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church denies the habit of drinking alcohol. But nonetheless, Father Jack doesn't give a feck.

The sober yet silly priests, Father Ted and Father Dougal, are in the living room as well. Both priests are sitting on the couch they commonly sit on.

Father Ted, on the right, is reading The Girl At The Farmhouse Gate. He really lost himself in a different realm and time. The priest felt like he's in the era WWII yet he's thankful he's not in the real war at all. The image of him being blown up to pieces by a bomb, being killed by a Japanese prostitute or being forced to do the Nazi dance by Hitler is an awful imagination. He dismisses those thoughts and concentrates on reading.

Father Dougal, on the left, is watching YouTube videos on his black IPhone. He's watching "TRY NOT TO LAUGH" videos. Depsite laughing so hard, his body is still intact. Thankfully, his two friends don't mind his loud laughs. He keeps on laughing until he doesn't notice he's peeing massively.

Father Ted feels something wet under his bottom and smells something unpleasant.

"Dougal..." He said. "Did you pee?"

"What?" Father Dougal asked, recovering from his laughs and putting away his phone.

"I said..." Father Ted's answer was interrupted by Father Dougal's question.

"Hold on, Ted. Do you feel wet too? And what is that disgusting smell?"

"That's pee."

"Pee? Ted, you should've gone to the bathroom. You know you're already old and should use the bathroom. You're not a baby anymore."

"I know how to pee in bathroom, Dougal! I'm asking you if you peed."

"Wait. I peed?" He checks his crotch and finds it wet. "Oh dear. I did peed. I guess I peed from watching too much funny videos."

"Now go and change your pants. Please."

"Ok." Father Dougal rushes to the bedroom. He searches the cabinet for dry pants but finds none.

"Mrs. Doyle!" He called.

"Yes, Father Dougal?" She asked, arriving in front of the room with a big basket of pants.

"Where are the pants?"

"Right here." She answered, showing the basket to him. "They're just dried."

"Oh thank God. Can I please have one? My pants are wet right now."

"Alright." She gives him one pants then he thanks her.

Father Dougal closes the door for privacy. Finally, he changes his wet pants with the dry one. After changing, he returns to sitting next to Father Ted in the living room.

This time, he watches YouTubers doing the Momo Challenge. Thus, peace took over the living room. Suddenly, Bishop Brennan enters the living room with his attendant who is handcuffed to a travel bag.

Father Ted who is wide-eyed from the bishop's unexpected entry gets up from the couch quickly.

"Oh, Your Grace." He said, coming over to him. "What a pleasant surprise that you have dropped by."

"I'm here to be protected from this stupid weather."

"Why not at your home, Your Grace? Surely your home is sturdy and big. Plus, it's big enough for you and your son to live in." Father Dougal said happily.

"WHAT?!" Bishop Brennan asked angrily.

"He asked why not at your home since yours is really sturdy and big." Father Ted immediately said.

"I know I can stay protected in my home." Bishop Brennan said gently. "But, the weather got very worse while I was on my way here."

"I told His Grace to stay here so in that way he can do both things: stay safe and tell you to do another task." The attendant answered.

"Who are you?" Father Dougal asked.

"I'm George Webber, an attendant of His Grace."

"Drink!" Father Jack shouted.

"What does he mean by that?" George asked.

"He always says that since he is a very, very drunk priest." Father Ted explained, crossing his arms.

"Luckily, I brought some alcohol with me." George said. He goes out in the hallway and brings in his box of cans of beer. He gives it to Father Jack.

"DRINK!" Father Jack shouted enthusiastically and takes the beer. One by one, he drinks the cans.

"Oh do take a seat, Your Grace. As well as you, Goerge." Father Ted said.

"Thanks, Father." George said happily. "You know, it's been a long time since I have been treated with respect." He said, sitting next to his master on the other couch.

"Since when have you been treated with respect?" Father Dougal asked.

"When I was 21, I had a trip to Queen Elizabeth's palace." Everybody except for Father Jack looked at him with wide eyes. "A butler respectfully greeted me and gave me directions for the Buckingham Palace. Then, I accidentally broke one of the armors there. The butler took responsibility of what had happened. After that, the poor lad was fired."

"What happened to him after he was burned?" Father Dougal asked.

"I didn't say burned. I said fired."

"Exactly."

"No, Dougal. He meant the butler was removed from his job." Father Ted explained to him.

"Oh."

"Sorry about that, George. Father Dougal here is very, you know, tipsy and silly."

"I understand that clearly."

"May you please explain what happened to the butler?" Bishop Brennan asked.

"Well...Oops. Sorry, everybody. That was just a dream of mine."

Bishop Brennan sighs heavily. Father Ted facepalms himself. Father Dougal exclaims, "I thought I was the only one!"

Mrs. Doyle, having heard of Bishop Brennan and George's entry, comes to the room with two cups of tea.

"Oh. Madam, His Grace is advised by doctors not to take tea for a while."

"Why?"

"Tea would trigger his intestines and make him use the bathroom all the time although tea is good for one's health."

"That's a shame! What a waste that I had made tea."

"Hey. You have nothing to worry about, Madam. I love drinking tea!"

"Oh how delightful!"

Mrs. Doyle elegantly puts down the two cups on the table next to George. George thanks her for the tea. He sips it and amazement overcomes him.

"Dear God! Mrs. Doyle, this tea is the most wonderful tea ever!"

"Oh thank you very much." She said, feeling flattered. "Tell me if you want more."

"Ok."

Mrs. Doyle leaves the room like a smiling Cheshire cat.

Peace returned to the living room for a while. George sips on the delicious, hot tea. Bishop Brennan sits quietly in his seat. Father Ted continues reading his book. Father Dougal still watches Momo challenge videos on his phone.

"Bishop Brennan, is it not you're going to tell them something?"

"Oh. That's right." Bishop Brennan clears his throat for a minute to tell the priests what to do. "Father Ted, Father Dougal, you must protest against abortion."

"Abortion? What's that?" Father Dougal asked.

"It's a bloody medical procedure to kill a baby while it's still in the womb."

George spits the tea he has in his mouth all over Bishop Brennan. The fat bishop screams in pain. Father Dougal does the same out of shock. Again, the fat bishop screams. Father Jack laughs at them and says, "Drink!".

"Oh dear!" Father Ted exclaimed, standing up from his seat. "I..I..I'll get you a towel." He runs out of the living room to look for a towel in the bedroom.

"WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!" George asked furiously.

"Whoever invented abortion must have hated cute, chubby babies." Father Dougal said.

"Plus, babies are too innocent to die."

"Yeah."

Just in time, Father Ted comes to the room with a dry towel. Bishop Brennan grabs it and wipes himself.

"As you know, abortion is said to control overpopulation. It also stops women from giving birth to babies they don't want to have."

"They can simply give up the child for adoption. Abortion is not the solution for unwanted pregnancies." Father Ted said, crossing his arms.

"Correct."

"The best model of that is you, Bishop. Your girl hasn't aborted your son in America." Father Dougal said.

"WHAT?!"

"Oh. Dougal said he really wants to protest against abortion."

"Can I join?" George asked eagerly.

"No, George. Only Father Ted and Father Dougal are ordered to do that." Bishop Brennan explained. George grunts in sadness. "But you can join activists who are against abortion."

"Yes!" George shouted as if he's watching a football game.

"So, when and where will we do that?" Father Ted asked.

"You'll have to express your protest through a video. The protest shall be done on a fine day."

"At least that's better than the last time we protested." Father Ted mused, sitting down with Father Dougal on their couch.

"We protested last time?" Father Dougal asked.

"Yes, Dougal. Remember when we protested against 'The Passion of Saint Tibulus' movie in front of the cinema? On our first time, we failed. Bishop Brennan stormed into the room which caused us to protest the second time. You even handcuffed us on a small railing to make sure we don't fail again."

"Oh. Now I remember." Father Dougal grabs a key from his vest's pocket. "You know, Ted, the key for the handcuffs has been in my collar the whole time. I just discovered this yesterday."

Father Ted facepalms himself. George chuckles.

"What should I do with this key, Ted?"

"I think you should keep it so next time we'll not be stuck on something like a bridge."

"Ok." He safely keeps the key in his pocket.

"I'm feeling bored. Let's do something fun." George stated.

"Good idea, George. Let's do the Momo Challenge."

"Momo Challenge? What is that?" Father Ted asked.

"On WhatsApp, an app for texting and calling, you must call a creepy...thing named Momo. The result is...well...I haven't finished AldosWorld TV's video on the Momo Challenge. So, let's do this to see what's the result."

"Are you sure it's not a dream of yours?"

"No. I have evidence." He gets his IPhone from the table, searches Momo on Google and shows Father Ted the results of what he searched.

"You're right, Dougal. It's not a dream. But Momo looks like she's eating and drinking drugs rather than normal food and drinks."

"DRINK!" Father Jack shouted.

"Can I see?" Bishop Brennan asked.

"Sure, Len."

"It's 'Your Grace', you little piece of cabbage!" He takes the phone away from Father Dougal. From the first sight, he feels his stomach churning. "Whoever created this wasted the good Lord's creations."

George peers at the photo. His blue eyes go wide. Never in his life has he seen something so ugly.

"Thank God I didn't drop your travel bag, as I'm handcuffed to it, becuase of that piece of feck."

"Indeed. You should also be thankful that I handcuffed you there so you may not forget it."

"Right."

"May we do the challenge now? I'm so excited." Father Dougal said.

"Fine."

Father Dougal opens an article related to Momo. He gets Momo's number and writes it down on his Memo app. Half an hour passed, Father Dougal is finished.

"I'm done." He said. Everyone sighs in relief. "Now I'll download WhatsApp." Everyone grunts in disappointment. Half an hour passed again, he's done.

"Please be done, Father Dougal, or I'll feed you to the dogs." Bishop Brennan threatened.

"I'm finally done, Len."

"Your Grace."

"You must be mistaken, Len, I'm not a bishop and I don't know how to use grace since I don't know what is that in the first place."

Bishop Brennan sinks deeply into his seat. Father Ted facepalms once more.

"Father Dougal, it would be better if you call Momo." George told him.

"Ok."

Gathering up all his courage, Father Dougal searches for Momo's number. He presses the contact and a space for text messaging appears. Father Ted carefully leans on the young priest to get a better view of the challenge Father Dougal is about to do. Bishop Brennan and George huddle up behind the two priests.

Father Dougal (cheerful): Hello, Momo

Two minutes passed and two blue checks appear below Father Dougal's message.

"Dougal, what's the meaning of two blue checks on your message?" Father Ted asked.

"Where is it?" Father Dougal asked, searching for it. He finally finds it. "Oh. Found it. I don't know what it means though."

The priests, bishop and attendant see Momo replying.

"Look, Momo replied!" George said, pointing his finger at it.

Momo (cynical): Hi, priest.

Father Dougal (creeped-out): How do you know I'm a priest?

Momo: Your profile picture says everything.

Father Dougal: What does it say?

Momo (cynical, again): So you're sarcastic. I can be sarcastic as well.

Father Dougal: What do you mean? By the way, are you real?

Momo: Of course.

Father Dougal: Prove it.

Momo: *shows picture of herself*

Father Dougal: I know you have a photo. But I want real evidence.

Momo: *calls him on FaceTime*

"What should I do?" Father Dougal asked nervously.

"Accept it." Father Ted answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're sure."

"Yes, yes. I'm sure." Father Ted replied annoyingly. "Since you're scared, I'll do it." He snatches the phone away from Father Dougal's grasp and presses the accept button.

Momo appears. She is staring at the camera. Little by little, her mouth twists into a creepy grin. Much to his shock, Father Ted faints right away and face plants on the floor. Father Dougal puts Father Ted in his arms and waves his hand over his face to revive him. Bishop Brennan does the same with his hat.

Momo laughs like a maniac. George, having enough of her laughs, bravely grabs the phone and presses the decline button.

"I think you should end that text or she'll come to this house even though it's raining cats and dogs." Bishop Brennan advised.

Father Dougal goes to the window. He sees nothing but grey clouds, heavy drops of rain and a few bolts of lightning. He grunts in disappointment and returns to kneeling beside Father Ted.

"What were you looking at?"

"I was hoping for puppies and kittens to fall from the sky."

"Why?"

"Because you said it's raining cats and dogs."

"What His Grace meant is that it's raining heavily." George said.

"Oh."

Fater Ted wakes up much to everybody's relief.

"What happened?" He asked, sitting up.

Father Dougal's phone beeps. George reads Momo's reply.

Momo: Now that you have evidence, it is such a disappointment that I have not seen your face.

"What did Momo said?" Father Dougal asked.

George looks at the phone and reads aloud, "She said, 'Now that you have evidence, it is such a disappointment that I have not seen your face.'" He looks back at everyone. "Man, this is creepy." He commented.

"I know what Momo is doing." Bishop Brennan said.

"What?" The rest, except for Father Jack, asked in unison.

"A scam! When I was planning to go to the Bahamas, I looked on my tablet for any travel agencies. A text popped up while I was searching. The text claimed to be the best travel agency in the world and the texter's name is Bob. I asked for a ticket under one condition: I must show Bob photos of expensive things I own. I sent him photos of golden crucifix scapulars, my golden car, my goldfish and my golden toilet. A day later, those things were stolen. I reported it to the police. Up to now, they haven't found the idiot who took away my bling."

"Your Grace.." George said. "That actually happened two days ago. Yesterday, you have reported that to the police."

"Did I?"

George nods in response. Bishop Brennan sighs heavily.

"His Grace has a point, Dougal." Father Ted said, standing up and dusting off dirt from his back. "If that person who claims to be Momo sees your face, he or she could possibly use it to commit crimes and put the blame on you."

"Well, let's find out more. We might as well catch a criminal." Father Dougal said, sitting on the couch with Father Ted.

Like earlier, Bishop Brennan and George huddle up behind the couch.

Father Dougal (serious): Momo, are you a scammer?

Momo (suspicious): No. I'm not. Do I look like one?

Father Dougal: No.

"This will get us nowhere." Bishop Brennan said. He snatches the phone from Father Dougal's grasp.

Bishop Brennan (pretending to be in Father Dougal's shoes): Momo, why do you love scaring people?

Momo: Because I'm always alone. If I'm alone, I'm sad. If I'm sad, I'm mad. So, I let out my wrath on simpletons like you who love to poke fun for no reason.

Bishop Brennan (angry): SCARING PEOPLE IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE ALONE, SAD AND MAD?! WELL, I FOR ONE ADVISE YOU TO SHUT UP AND KEEP IN YOUR FEELINGS LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO. NOW STOP TEXTING ME.

Bishop Brennan throws the phone at Father Jack's can of beer out of his intense anger. It's now Father Jack to be full of boiling anger. He speed walks to Bishop Brennan and hits him with his cane.

"FECK OFF! ARSE! DRINKS! GIRLS!" He chanted repeatedly.

George tries to overpower the drunk priest. To no avail, George gets hit in the stomach by Father Jack's cane. Father Ted and Father Dougal, catch the falling George. Father Dougal carries George to the couch while Father Ted grabs Father Jack's cane. The supposed to be taking away of Father Jack's cane and claming him down escalated into a fight. Father Ted and Father Jack are now grabbing the cane.

Unexpectedly, the lights went out. Mrs. Doyle enters the living room with a lit ear wax candle.

"Father Ted, Father Dougal, you must be thankful for there are still ear wax candles. In fact, I have the basket of them right now." She said.

"Oh. Good. It's best if you stay here, Mrs. Doyle." Father Ted said.

Once Mrs. Doyle reaches the table, the lights went back on with something eery. Loud knocking was heard from the window. Everyone in that room lay their eyes on Momo knocking on the window. All of them scream at the top of their lungs.

"What should we do? What should we do?!" George asked, breaking down from being scared.

"FECK OFF, ARSE!" Father Jack said, piercing his cane on the spot where Momo is.

His cane makes a big impact on one eye of Momo plus a huge hole. Momo is able to get in.

"FECK OFF, ARSE!" He shouts again, stabbing his cane at Momo who is running and climbing all over the place.

Momo falls out of the ceiling due to loss of balance. She falls on the lit earwax candle Mrs. Doyle placed. The candle impales her body. Thus, she dies.

Father Ted goes over to the table. He finds Momo clearly dead. He turns around to face everyone.

"Good news! Momo is dead!"

Everybody cheers and claps at the news.

"That means, Father Jack and Mrs. Doyle are the heroes!" Father Dougal said.

"Hey! Don't forget me! I was the one who lured Momo to come here." Bishop Brennan shouted.

"Ok, Len."

"What did I tell you? Call me by my proper title and not Len!"

"Len is a nice name, Your Grace." George commented. "By the way, how do we remove Momo's body?"

"Maybe we should throw her out of the window. By morning, we can put her in a trash bag and throw her off to the sea." Father Ted answered.

"Good idea, Father." George said.

"But how about the..." Father Dougal's question was interrupted by Mrs. Doyle covering the hole on the window with two trash bags and taped it twelve times. "Never mind. Mrs. Doyle answered my question."

"Dougal, help me throw out Momo in the window in the bedroom."

"Sure."

Both priests go upstairs. Father Dougal opens the window and comes back to Father Ted since it's storming hardly.

"On the count of three, we throw her off."

"Ok."

"One..."

"Three!" Father Dougal, still with the help of Father Ted who did his best in catching up with him, throws Momo's body out the window.

Father Dougal closes the window after that. They sigh in relief.

"Father Dougal, I think there's a lesson here." Father Ted said, walking down with Father Dougal.

"Indeed. The lesson is to have a drunk priest as a friend who produces ear wax."

"No. It's to never imitate things seen on the Internet."

"Oh."

Everybody celebrated with cups of tea and slices of cake.

Momo, still struggling to live, crawls for her life. God sent a strong thunder upon her which kills her again and as punishment for scaring people. There she lays in ashes. God sent wind for part of her ashes to disappear in the dark, stormy night. He left some as He knows Father Ted, Father Dougal, Father Jack and Bishop Brennan are silly simpletons.

The End.