Julia

Chapter 1

Stockton CA, 1878

The train pulled out. She was standing at the rear door, looking back his way. He watched her go, and neither one of them smiled. There was nothing to smile about. When the train finally turned the bend and was gone, he looked away and started back toward the buggy he had left outside the depot.

He got dizzy. He wasn't surprised. He knew coming to town was a risk. He'd been beaten badly, hit over the head with something like an axe handle, left for dead in the livery stable, just yesterday. It was a good seven hours before the sheriff found him and got him home. He woke up in his own bed, worried about her, worried about the trial, but the doctor gave him laudanum and he was out again for several hours. He awoke to find it was growing dark outside. His brothers had found the answers to the charges against Julia Saxon, and she had been cleared, all while he lay drugged in his own bed. He fell asleep after being awake for only a minute or two, after they told him what had happened.

Now it was the next day, and he had no business being out of bed, but she had sent him a note, apologizing for everything, saying she was leaving town as soon as possible. He had to see her before she left, so he made his way out of bed and off to town in a buggy without anyone seeing him. He'd made it all right, but now the good-byes were traded and she was gone, and he was losing strength and consciousness as he reached the buggy.

"Jarrod!" the sheriff's voice came close over his shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The world started to get spotted with darkness. "Passing out," he said, and he did.

The next thing he knew, he was being bundled into his own bed again, and Nick's voice was saying, "Didn't we just do this yesterday?"

Jarrod didn't have the energy to answer. He felt his boots being removed and his tie and then he felt nothing again until he woke up in darkness with just a lamp beside the bed lit. He was under blankets, back in his sleeping clothes, and his head hurt.

Nick was sitting in a chair beside the bed. "If you'd stay put like you've been told, the doctor wouldn't keep drugging you out and I wouldn't be sitting here like a nursemaid," Nick said.

Jarrod's mouth was dry. "Some water – " he tried to say. He wasn't sure he'd actually said it until Nick raised him a little and put a glass to his lips. Jarrod drank the little bit of water in the glass. It tasted bitter, like it had laudanum in it, and he was ready to object but it was too late. Nick let him back down. Jarrod closed his eyes. "What day is it?"

"The sheriff dragged you home from that beating yesterday morning," Nick said. "The doctor drugged you out and you were pretty much gone until this morning when you snuck out of here and took yourself to town. You passed out in the street and the sheriff dragged you home again. And the doctor drugged you out again with orders for us to keep an eye on you."

"Mm," Jarrod said, his soupy mind fixating on the alliteration, "dragged and drugged, dragged and drugged…."

"She's gone," Nick said.

Jarrod had forgotten that, but now he remembered watching the train pull away before he passed out. "I know," he said.

"Are you gonna stay in bed like you're supposed to now, or are we gonna do all this one more time tomorrow?"

"Let it alone, Nick," Jarrod said. "It's done. What time is it now?"

"After eleven. You need to sleep. The doctor says you'll be all right if you quit getting out of bed and going to town."

Jarrod said, "I won't go anywhere."

"I'll be here for a while if you need me. Heath will be here after me."

"Thanks," Jarrod said.

"We'll talk more when you're up to it."

"Nnn," Jarrod said, trying to say "no, we won't," but he couldn't get it out. His world went black again.

Nick heard the door open and looked over his shoulder. His mother was coming in, certainly on her way to bed. She stepped beside Nick, putting a hand on his shoulder. He put his hand atop hers. "Has he been awake yet?" she asked.

"He was for a minute, just now," Nick said. "He said he wouldn't get out of bed again, but I gave him that next dose of laudanum so I know he won't."

Victoria sighed. "Did you tell him Julia Saxon had left town?"

"I think he remembered that on his own. Mother – do you know what this was all about?"

Victoria knew Nick was asking about his brother's relationship with the former Confederate spy. She didn't really feel right talking about it. If Jarrod wanted Nick to know, he'd tell him. "A bit," she ended up saying.

"He said he knew her during the war," Nick said.

"Yes," Victoria said.

"And he didn't say it, but I take it they were involved."

"It seems they were, yes."

Nick moaned a little. "He got himself busted up like this over an old love affair."

"I'm not sure how old it was, Nick," Victoria said. "At least, there was nothing in the past about it for Julia Saxon."

Nick shook his head.

"I wish this hadn't happened now," Victoria said. "He's still dealing with losing Beth, and now Julia Saxon turns up."

"Like kicking the man when he's down," Nick said.

"Yes," Victoria said.

"I wonder if she knew about Beth."

"I'm sure he didn't tell her."

Nick gave a sigh.

Victoria said, "I'll get to bed and let you and Heath look after him tonight. He might open up to one of you. He won't to me." She gave Nick a kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Nick."

Nick kissed her hand. "Good night, Mother."

Victoria went out. Nick heard the door close, and he gave another sigh, looking down at his brother in that drugged sleep he was in. He really doubted anybody was going to get Jarrod to open up about what had just happened with Julia Saxon.

"Aw, Pappy," Nick said quietly, and then he didn't know what else to say. Jarrod wouldn't hear him anyway.

XXXXXXXX

The next time Jarrod woke up, the room was sunlit but not very bright. His head wouldn't clear very much, but he sat up on the edge of the bed anyway. He needed the wc.

Somebody got out of the chair on the other side of the bed. Jarrod was startled for a moment, then felt Heath come to his side and help him stand up. "If you're gonna try to walk somewhere, you better let me help you," Heath said.

Jarrod stood, rickety but not as bad as he thought he might be. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Just past five – in the afternoon."

"Afternoon?" Jarrod said.

"You slept almost around the clock," Heath said. "Mother already sent for Dr. Merar to come have a look at you."

"I need the wc," Jarrod said.

"Let's go," Heath said.

Heath held onto him as he slowly made it down the hall, barefoot and head clanging. Heath stayed with him as he used the facilities and looked at himself in the mirror with a groan. "I was hoping I didn't look as bad as I feel," Jarrod said. He hadn't shaved in days, and his eyes drooped. His hair was uncombed and wild.

"Best you get back into bed for a while," Heath said. "You didn't do yourself any good going into town and passing out in the street."

Jarrod remembered his good-bye to Julia. "Yes, I did," he said.

Heath helped him back down the hall and back to bed. As Jarrod lay back against the pillows, he knew he was awake for good now. Heath sat back down in the chair.

"Don't you have to go out to work?" Jarrod asked.

"Like I said, it's afternoon," Heath said. "The family's already gathered for visiting before dinner."

"Afternoon," Jarrod said, closing his eyes, thinking. "So I passed out in town yesterday morning."

"Yep," Heath said.

"You don't have to sit with me. I won't get out of bed anymore."

"Doctor's orders. We don't leave you alone until he gives us the go ahead."

"You said he's coming by in a while?"

"Should be. Look, Jarrod, you know I'm not gonna pry too hard. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't keep at you, but it seems to me this Julia Saxon has knocked you for a loop, and I don't mean just the beating you took in the livery stable. You gotta talk it out with somebody or we might be picking you up off the street again before long."

"No, no," Jarrod groaned. "I've learned my lesson. I'll do whatever the doctor says." He opened his eyes and looked through still half-drugged fog at his youngest brother. "I know you want to help, but I need to sort this out for myself, and I can't do it until I start feeling awake again."

"All right," Heath said, "but you've had a rough time over the last few months. I know you're used to sorting out your own problems and everybody else's while keeping things confidential, but you might just need some help this time. You're not a lawyer right now. You're just a regular middle-aged man with a bigger load of problems than most."

Jarrod glared. "Middle-aged?" He feigned indignation.

Heath laughed. "I thought that might wake you up."

Jarrod closed his eyes. "If you're going to call me middle-aged, I'm gonna start calling you a whipper-snapper."

Heath laughed some more. "You can call me pip-squeak if it helps."

"No, that's what I used to call Nick, until he outgrew me." Jarrod looked at his brother again. "Thanks for the laugh, Heath. I needed it."

A knock came at the door, and Heath told them to come in. It was Victoria and Dr. Merar. They both looked worried until they saw Jarrod was awake.

"Well, that's usually the way it works," Dr. Merar said, coming closer and putting his bag on the night table. "Call for the doctor and the patient improves before he gets here."

"He's been out for a long time," Victoria said. "I didn't want night to come on without you seeing him."

"I'm awake now," Jarrod said. "I'll get normal again as long as you don't keep drugging me, Doctor."

Dr. Merar took out his stethoscope and checked Jarrod's heartbeat. "I think we can get you through the night with a half dose and quit using it tomorrow. You haven't been on it long enough to cause problems."

"Can I get up and around tomorrow?" Jarrod asked.

"Around the house, yes. Around town, no," the doctor said. "And use a cane. You're likely to be a bit unstable for a few more days." The doctor looked at Jarrod's eyes and said, "I think you can quit worrying now, Victoria. He'll get over this."

Which "this?" Victoria asked herself. His injuries or Julia Saxon?

Jarrod and Heath could both tell what she was thinking.

The doctor said, "I'd rather somebody stay with him one more night, in case he decides to get up and go sleep walking. A half dose of laudanum can make a man do that."

"I'll stay for a while and then let Nick in," Heath said.

Jarrod eyed his brother with a small grin. "Yeah, Heath and I have some things to talk about before you hit me with any more laudanum, Doctor."

Heath smiled a little, and so did Victoria. The doctor said to her, "Then I'll let you give him the laudanum when he's ready to sleep. I'll be back the day after tomorrow, unless you need me sooner."

"I think we'll be all right," Jarrod said.

Victoria and the doctor left, and as the door closed, Heath sat down on the chair again. "So, you ready to talk about Julia Saxon, Jarrod?" he asked.

Jarrod looked up at the ceiling with a sigh. "I think I maybe I am."