The 'Language Barrier' Affair
(From the days of Illya's first year on American soil)
Illya was viewing the calendar hanging near his desk with more than a little bit of a puzzled expression on his face. Seeming to give up on figuring out the mystery on his own, he looked over to where Napoleon was casually leaning back in his chair.
"Napoleon? These days marked in red on our calendars? They are significant how?"
Leaning his chair forward a bit to view the calendar on his own piece of the wall, Napoleon surveyed the dates.
"Ah. On these calendars, the red seems to indicate those days that are considered holidays."
"I . . . see."
The frown became more pronounced on the Russian's face, but he seemed hesitant to ask another question, so Napoleon prodded a bit. His curiosity was up about whatever it was that had Illya looking so puzzled. It certainly wasn't the stoic look that he normally saw on that face.
"Something about the holidays have you confused, partner mine?"
The icy blue eyes left the calendar and flicked briefly over to Napoleon.
"I must admit that there is a day here that I am trying to figure out. Since Americans set aside days for eating sausages, do you have dates for other food products as well?"
Blinking, Napoleon met Illya's eyes and his expression was even more perplexed than Illya's was. Which was saying something.
"Sausages? What makes you think we have a holiday for sausages?"
"Because it is on your calendars."
"Say what? When?"
Moving over, Napoleon followed the Russian's finger to the date he was pointing at. Februrary 2nd.
"That doesn't say sausage. It says groundhog."
"But sausage is ground pork, is it not?"
"Groundhog has nothing to do with pork products, chum. A groundhog is a big rodent."
Illya's expression went from puzzled to slightly disgusted.
"You eat big rodents on that day?"
The thought of that brought a grimace to Napoleon's face as well. As he started to explain, he began to wonder if the reality sounded any better.
"Nope. We watch them come out of holes in the ground to see if they look at their shadow. It's supposed to let us know how much longer winter is going to last."
The blonde Russian just stared at Napoleon. From the slight scowl, he was apparently trying to see if he was being made fun of. When it appeared that Napoleon was being serious, he just shook his head and then spoke very slowly to make sure he had understood correctly.
"You dedicate a day to watching large rodents come out of their burrows so that you can observe them to see if they notice their shadow in an attempt to forecast when the end of winter is going to arrive?"
Napoleon was almost embarrassed to answer that, but he nodded.
"That's about the size of it, chum."
Illya's gaze went back to the calendar, then he shook his head and picked up a file from his desk.
"Eating them would have made more sense."