Mourning
A/N: So yeah…I have no clue what moved me to write this story. Let's just say it was one sad song by girls without daddies too many, okay? Good. Also I'm considering doing more of these but focusing on the other Titans and their respective parents.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Beta'd by: The stupendous They-Call-Me-Orange. I liked the title you offered but couldn't figure out how to make Raven a convincing cowboy.
She couldn't explain the tears. Couldn't explain their sudden arrival in her eyes, nor their refusal to stop falling. She couldn't explain why she was crying for him, why his death seemed to sadden her so.
She knew, in that secret place hidden inside her, she knew why she was crying. Knew why the tears wouldn't, couldn't stop. She just refused to believe, refused to listen to the voice in the corner of her heart that spoke the truth. Refused to acknowledge that anything it said was true.
She wasn't supposed to be so sad. This occasion, this startling event, this moment called for anything but sadness. She knew that this was a moment she was supposed to feel truly free, feel truly alive and truly happy. She should be celebrating and enjoying this blessing, this gift she had been given. She should not be here, in her darkened room, crying.
But she couldn't stop. The godforsaken tears kept falling kept on coming. Tracing gentle patterns from her violet eyes, past her trembling lips and onto the cool floor beneath her, They refused to stop, even as she swore she wasn't sad, even as she swore that she hadn't cared and that she didn't car and even as she swore she was happy he was gone.
Despite her adamant denials and her futile attempts to stem her tears, her heart knew better. Knew that behind the carefully constructed façade lay a little girl, who was slowly falling apart. A little girl who was struggling to keep her inner walls up, who was struggling to keep from breaking down completely.
The death of Trigon the Terrible was not supposed to reduce his daughter to tears. It was not supposed to leave her sobbing uncontrollably. It was supposed to free her, give her the chance to truly live and feel and enjoy her life.
It truly baffled her; the tears and the inexplicable sadness that had slammed into her with force of a Mack truck. When she had been given the news of Trigon's demise (apparently he wasn't the biggest, baddest demon around after all) she had been surprised but for the most part calm. Sadness hadn't even registered on her emotional Richter scale. It wasn't until she was in her room that she even noticed the tears. And much to her chagrin once they started, they refused to stop.
Raven had always known Trigon was a bastard but this truly took the cake. Even in death the insufferable ass had the power to reduce her to nothing more than an emotionally unstable bundle of nerves and tears. Even death he still pulled her emotional strings.
She didn't even like him, let alone love him. He was a horrible man, no a horrible beast, by all accounts and she knew from experience that he was a beyond horrible father. But as her tears kept falling, (with no sign of stopping) Raven realized that she wasn't really crying for the monster that Trigon had been or for the evil she remembered him representing throughout her entire life. No instead she realized she was crying for the man he could have been and for the father she had never had a chance to have. She was crying for what he could have been in another life, in another time, another place. She was crying for what she had lost. Crying for that little girl, with eyes the deepest shade of indigo, who couldn't possibly believe that the voice in her head, the one that promised sweet dreams and blissful days and happy endings, would ever hurt her, could ever be dangerous. She wept for the father, who in his own sadistic and twisted style had loved her the best way he knew how, who showed it in the only way he knew possible. She was weeping for what they had never been and for what they could never, ever be.
So perhaps the tears didn't surprise her so much. Maybe they didn't seem so out of place or unnatural in this situation. After all, despite all he had done and all the pain he had caused, he was still managed one good thing. He helped bring her here. He gave her a life, however hard and lonely it may have been. So it was only right that Raven cry. Only right that Raven weep. Only right that Raven mourned the death of her father.
A/N: I wish I could tell you what made me write this. But I can't because I truly don't know. If I figure it out I'll let you all know. Anyway review and let me know what you guys feel about this.