Padre.
Disclaimed: Death note is not mine, or I would rule the world
Sumaries: Well, we all know that L was born in 1982 (anime) and Near was born in 1994 (anime), that meant there is almost no change Near is L's son. Yet at the first design for Near and Mello, they are meant to be the detective's sons. This is a "what-if story", with L slightly older, or Near slightly younger. (Just slightly is enough)
Padre is the word used in the novel "The gadfly", which meant "father" in Italian
Sorry for the language. English is not really my strong point..
.
.
.
Near did not really love reading novel.
Reading book was still too much a passive active for the brain; he always saw it that way. He did read many, many books, though, in order to understand human beings. This was the only way such an introvert like him could learn about human emotions. He studied humans with no more passion than a scientist watching his specimens. After all, it's it what he had to do. Someday, maybe he would become L, the best detectives in the world, which was the only reason he was raised up to.
Near read "The Gadfly" by some woman named Ethel Lilian Voynich during a summer day. He remembered the entire book, but did not particularly like it. The only word that would haunt him forever is the word "Padre" the main character used to call the father he could never be near.
Padre.
During this summer day, a young man sat with him under the warm light of summer flowing into the library through colorful glass windows. That young man had an especially messy head of hair, funny eyes that never looks into Near's face, and a weird sitting posture. At that time, Near did not know who he was, and Near did not care enough to question Roger. He only knew that the young man had requested to be alone with him. For one whole day. All the time, both of them did not exchange any words. Near read books, played with his toys like usual. The man just sat there eating sweets. A lot of sweets.
When Near had finished reading the book, the man said while biting a big chocolate cookie:
"This book is your presents, Near."
Near nodded.
They remained silent for a while. When Near had decided to move away to find his puzzle, the man said, with a seemingly casual but somehow tensed voice:
"My name is Lawliet."
Near nodded.
"I'm L." The man said with a low monotone, still looking away from Near.
Near turned his eyes slightly to the man's direction. So he was L. Not really remarkable, though. He nodded again, and L seemed to be trying to hide a sigh. At the end, L stood up, walked away, without looking at him, and said with a very natural voice, as if he was just mentioning about something insignificant:
"Coincidently, I'm your father."
Near stopped reaching out for the puzzles. Again, he nodded. And L disappeared behind the black, large door.
It was the first time L talked to him. The first time he met him in secret. And on this very first time, he let Near know quite naturally such a secret. Yet Near did not feel any emotion. He could not form any feeling or reaction to the young man. Near did not really know the man, how could he react? Apparently, a man named Lawliet was his father, or at least he claimed so. And this Lawliet was happened to be the greatest detective that all the boys in Whammy house looked up to.
But then …?
Near did not feel any differences.
That night, Near brought the book with him to his bedroom. He did not have intention to reread the book. A normal young man would buy for his kids something like a Winnie the Pooh book, which was the suitable action. The gift that man named L brought to his 10 year old kids was a book full of blood, violence and betrayal. Such a weird man. That's all Near thought about him.
That night, Near sat on his bed very late. He did not have anything to do, just sit there looking out of the window. There's no moonlight, no stars. Everything was covered in a thick blanket of darkness. He could hear no sound of wind. The world was standing still, as emotionless as the boy sitting beside his bed alone in darkness.
The second times Near met L, and maybe, his father as well, was almost six months later. It was during Christmas Eve. When everybody was gathering in the living room around the Christmas tree, Near stayed alone in the playroom to build a skyscrapers out of dices. Thousands of white dices. Linda and some kids, among whom was Mello, ran through the room once or twice. She called him to go with them, but Near simply shook his head. "I'm fine here", he said. It was a bit cold, but he felt really pleasant staying behind. When Near was almost finished, he heard somebody entered the door.
And again, this man said:
"You are not a friendly child, aren't you?"
Near did not reply. He did not even turn his head to look at the man. He heard the man laughing, and wondered what Mello would do if he knew that L, the great invincible L was standing so near to them. So near to…Near, now that sounded weird. The blonde kid would jump at the detective, that's for sure. Whether he would kill the detective in excitement or not, was left to…debate.
"Do you like the book?"
Near did not reply. And he showed no sign to let L know that he's aware of his existence. Near just did not bother to show. The building was about to complete. He had other thing to focus on.
"Such a creepy kid…" L murmured.
Near heard the sound of L sitting next to him. He felt L's gaze at his building. But still he did not turn back. Both of them waited for something they didn't know, until L asked:
"Near, do you like chocolate?"
Near shook his head.
"Do you like cake?"
He shook his head again.
This time, L really sighed…Near thought. He heard the sound of a box being opened, the sweet smell of some cake, and he heard L said, not really clear though:
"That is your present. But as you don't like, I have no more reasonable option than to eat it."
"It sounds very reasonable" Near suddenly talked. He did not see L reaction. But the man was silent for a pretty long time. Maybe busy eating cake. That left Near with enough concentration to finish his work.
When Near was about to put the last piece onto the building, he heard L said: "I'm here just to see Roger."
Yes, Near nodded.
"Remember what I told you before?"
At last, Near opened his mouth, and speak in a small, clear but empty voice:
"That your name is Lawliet?"
"Well, maybe other than that."
"That you're L, the greatest detectives on earth?" Near continued.
L paused for a while, and finally answered: "Maybe other than that."
"That you claimed to be my father?" The child put the last dice on the top of his model, and moved his head nearer to the building front view to examine the detail.
"Yes. Maybe that's it. Keep it a secret between us, is it clear, Near?"
The child looked back to L, and saw the young man in a middle of a poor attempt to grin. Near's eyesight were getting worse and worse, but he could still make out some certain details of the man claimed to be L. Near stared without a blink at the black rings around the man's eyes, at the weird standing posture bending over him, at the unhealthy pale skin. When Near commented; his voice was still lacked of any emotion:
"You look gross."
L's eyes widened. He seemed to be in shock, as if he did not expect that response – no, any kind of response from Near.
"Keep it a secret, too." He started to laugh softly, and his tensed voice seemed to be somewhat more relaxed. "And remember, even though you're my son, you have no more advantages than other kids to be L's successor."
Near nodded. He knew subconsciously that L, or the man named Lawliet, would say something like that. L turned his back away and started to walk out of the room, when a word suddenly slipped through Near lips, for some reason he himself could not understand:
"Padre."
L almost froze at where he stood. Slowly and nervously, the great detective turned his head around, and saw the kid still staring at him with his icy empty eyes. When they faced each other, the kid hesitated for a while, like he did not understand his movement either, and finally added:
"I like that word."
L smiled, and without a word, he went a way. Near still looked at the direction that the man has disappeared, until he heard the food steps coming nearer and nearer, together with the angelic voice of Linda singing some Christmas carol. The girl entered the play room, carried some food for Near, smiled as brightly as the summer sun, and sat down besides him, besides the model of dices.
"It looks great, Near!" She exclaimed. The boy responded by a nod. The girl looked around, and saw the wrapping paper, and what left behind of a box of chocolate cake.
"Are there anybody here with you, Near?"
The boy paused, and then shook his head. When Linda stood up, he suddenly heard himself speaking: "Linda, could you find for me some chocolate cake?"
The girl widened her eyes. Near had never requested. She nodded, and with a bright expression, she ran away and later come back to share with Near a piece of chocolate cake.
It tasted fine. Not great. Just fine.
Near remembered the rumor of children in Whammy house about L. He loved sweet. He had a lot of weird quirks. He was the greatest detectives. And now Near knew a secret about L that nobody knew. But deep in his heart, he was indifferent to that new piece of knowledge. He could not see that man as anything else than…L. Simply put, whether that man is his father or not, whether he was L or not, it's not a thing that Near especially cared about.
He could not feel any attachment to the man. Neither did he like the book that man had given to him.
He just liked the word "Padre."
Yes, he just liked the word.
He repeated the word again before fell asleep.
Padre.
Such a nice word.
The third time Near met L was in Roger's office. And only until that time that Near was sure L was not an illusion in his head. The young man sat on the chair like a five year old kids, while Near lied on the ground playing with his toys. They did not bother to look at each other, and it's even seemed like they did not recognize the existence of each other.
Roger turned to L and asked, whether he was sure with what he was doing. L answered with a sleepy tone, yes, he was pretty sure the serial murder Kira was in Japan, and it was necessary for him to go there. L believed in his intuition.
Near raised his head looked at the two men. Roger paused, and said to L: "I do not think that is a good ideal, either."
Just when Near was about to stand up and collect his toys to go away, left the stage behind for the two adult, L jumped down of the chair, pulled his hand, and said: "Kid, let's go for a walk."
Near was about to say: "I'm fine here" like he had replied to Linda many times before. But when this man forced him to look at his eyes, Near did not know what to say. He just remained silent.
"Everybody is gathering in the hall for a special class…for the afternoon. And you have to go to the medical centre for some check-out." L smirked. "Let's go for a short walk. You need to go out more often, Near."
Near knew that he should. But it did not mean that he want to. L, however, refused to listen to any objection. An old man appeared at the door. L greeted him cheerfully: "Watari!", and forced Near to go with him. The kid only had enough time to grasp his teddy bear.
When they passed by Roger in the empty corridor, Near caught a glimpse of the man sighing.
The three of them got into the car of L. Watari drove away from the Whammy house and stopped by a wild fled about thirty minutes or so away from the house. L offered Near a gigantic lollipop, but the kid refused in silence, so he had no option but to eat it himself.
At the end, Near still refused to step out. There was no other way, they both sat back in the car, while Watari walked out with a cameras in his hand. The old man seemed to be enjoying himself, taking photographs of the empty field. What was so interesting about it, Near thought. It was true that the field had turned into a golden color in the sunset. It's true that in the wind Near could feel the sweet, nostalgic scent at the end of a day. It was true that the sky about their head had turned into a beautiful hue somewhere between yellow and violet. But what was so fascinating about it?
"You are such an indifferent child, aren't you." The young man besides Near said, looking out of the door.
Like two times before, they did not speak a word. Near hold the bunnies closer to his body. At the same times, he felt like he had so many things to say, yet he was incapable of understanding what exactly he wanted to know.
"Do you want to know about how you ended up in Whammy house while I'm running around the world catching criminals?" L said and threw the lollipop through the car window. His mannerism was similar to a child, Near noted. An especially weird and creepy child. Just like Near himself.
"Not really." The kid replied.
"Do you want to know about your birth?" L asked again.
"Not really." The answer was still the same.
"Such a child!" L exclaimed. With his face turned to the dark side, Near could not tell whether L was disappointed or was pleased with his answer.
"You're L, aren't you?" Near asked and felt his lips rising to form a smirk.
"Yes?" L sounded surprising. He may not have been expected to be asked back by Near.
"L does not do unnecessary thing." Near said. L looked at his face, and said loudly:
"Stop smirking like that, Near, it's creepy!"
Creepy? Near wondered himself whether it was the reason the kid in the house did not really happy with his seldom expression. Maybe he could keep a mirror with him, or asked Linda to draw his face at that time.
"Look, Near." L grasped his son's shoulder, spoke in a solemn and serious way, in fact it was so serious that Near thought it must be a joke. "Give up that smirk and I would buy you another toy, ok? Bears are for girls. You're a boy, what do you want?"
What did he want.
…
"A robot."
The disappointed face of L lightened up with a strange happiness. Near did not really want a robot, though. He just read somewhere that a boy should ask for those things. It was one of those useless know ledges that he still kept but never put in practice, just because there was nobody for him to asked.
"Very well. A robot. You would have a robot. I promised." L smiled. "Just give up that smirk. As I would go to Japan tomorrow, I could not get it for you today. But you would have it, sooner or later, I promised."
Watari had opened the door. The old man wondered, who was more childish, father or son.
It was the third time Near had met his father face to face. Even though Near was a prodigy, he had not lived long enough to have the intuition of a detective. He could never suspect that it was the last time they met each others.
L, however, had had some intuition at the beginning. He knew that Kira was in Japan. He knew that there was something more sinful going on behind all those "heart attacks". He knew it, even though he had no proof. He was L, after all. And he also knew that maybe he could not go back.
L died in Japan no long after that.
Near was told about his death in Roger office, together with Mello. The other kids started to panic and scream. He could not believe that L, the great L had died. Near, on the contrary, did not show any emotion.
After Mello had left, closed the door in fury, Near felt Roger coming nearer. The old man locked the door to be sure nobody was listening, turned back, said directly to Near, Near, Lawliet was dead.
Near nodded.
L was dead.
Near nodded again.
The old man could not remain calm any longer. The empty expression of Near started to scare him. What was this child? Somehow he felt this child was even scarier than the mysterious Kira that had killed L. Without any feeling, Near showed him nothing but a blank and even inhuman face.
"You father is dead! Near! Your father is dead!" The old man screamed.
Near closed his eyes. Roger was stupid. It was just mere luck that all students were staying in the dining room now.
The man collapsed before Near face, the kid could see the tear rolling down the wrinkle face.
Near could not reply.
Near could not.
He did not know L at all.
L was L. L was a stranger. Near just met L three times, and he did not like the detectives, or at least he believed so. More importantly, L had lost. Loser. He repeated those word to himself, loser.
But he could not.
The only word in his head now was the word from this book, the word that Near had found so beautiful. Somebody was repeated this single word again and again in his head, and Near slowly felt himself drifting further and further from the real world.
Padre.
Padre.
Padre, padre, padre, padre, padre, padre, padre, padre, padre, padre,…