Bleach: What is going on?! Series.
Bizzare and insane ramblings of a writer on some sort of wrong juice. Do not read if you are going to take it seriously.
1. Yhwach investigates the Kurosaki clinic is his younger form
"Welcome to the Kurosaki family clinic! What's the problem?" asks a middle aged man with impressive muscles. He was manning the service counter, which is filled with stacks of papers and pen.
"I came for a soul check-up."
"Is that so? May I run some tests on you?" The elder Kurosaki asked, as if humouring him.
"Sure."
An hour later, Kurosaki Isshin entered the waiting room Yhwach (he gave a fake name to Isshin) was sitting in.
"Ah, Kirin-kun, I have the papers back."
"Is that so?"
"It seems like you have two souls inside of you." he continued to say, "And one of it is a male and the other is female."
"Isn't that fine?" Yhwach asked. "It seems balanced to me."
"No, no...it means you must be bi-sexual! Since you have a male and female soul that must possible!"
"..." Yhwach glances to the wall and pretended he had been distracted by the peeling paint. "Is that all?"
"Well...that's not all."
-ten minutes later-
"You told me that you have a power which attracts all sorts of people, yes?" Isshin asked, holding a small chart. Yhwach nodded, not trusting his mouth not to insult the elder Kurosaki.
"I have came to the conclusion that the two souls caused this!" maybe he should've said something after all. Kurosaki Isshin seems to enjoy making up stories.
"When you are not aware of it, they must be engaged in sexual activity, and the soul's sexual activity attracts all sorts of voyeurs towards you so that they can watch the souls go at it like rabbits."
Yhwach have completely skipped faking his disappointment with Isshin's random answers to his enquiries. "...It seems like I have came to the wrong place after all." he sighed as Kurosaki continued spewing all sorts of theories on why he has the power to attract people to him.
"And also..." Yhwach tuned him out as he looked out of the clinic's window. It's no wonder Ichigo is crazy. It had to be genetics.
a/n: if you have any crazy ideas, feel free to drop a prompt. I will write it up on weekends...if it's good. Or else this is a stand-alone. Cause... I don't know when I'll have these urges to write crazy stuff.