Unholy Tactics
Relationships: ItaSaku with implied SasuNaru
Rating: M(just in case; implied sexy times)
As Sakura stormed off the dining table with a feral glint in her eyes after Shisui's latest offer of enlightening her and his innocent cousin in the glorious ways of sin, Itachi gave a long suffering sigh. The relentless teasing had become a routine affair in the Uchiha household and he could only wonder when Sakura would finally retaliate with her notorious strength. It was a miracle that she had borne with Shisui's antics for so long with no greater results than resembling a human inferno.
Shisui was nothing if not an undeterred gadfly. Despite his steady efforts, he had yet to provoke his resolutely stoic cousin into a display of embarrassment. At least the fiery pinkhead didn't disappoint. With one victim having left the vicinity, he promptly turned to the younger Uchiha scion who was busy stuffing himself with his favorite tomatoes.
"So... Baby-chan," Shisui began in a drawling voice. "Did you finally get it on with that oblivious teammate of yours?"
Sasuke huffed defensively. "Fuck you, Shisui!"
Shisui put a hand over his heart in an exaggerated flourish.
"My, my, Baby- chan! How could you say such uncouth things? Besides you are not really my choice of forbidden fruit... I'd rather have cute little blondes with sexy facial indentations-"
Shisui's monologue was abruptly cut short as Sakura forcefully dumped a heavy leather bound book with gilded edges under his nose.
"There!"
Itachi smirked surreptitiously. Things had finally gotten interesting. This was certainly not a reaction he'd anticipated from Sakura.
Intrigued, Shisui opened the tome. His eyes bulged into the size of saucers. The book was full of illustrations a million times more formidable than Kakashi's precious porn. Shisui was only well aware that his cousin was no celibate saint, but that didn't deter him from pushing his buttons anyways. But this... This was more than he ever wanted to know. The furiously underlined pages and the manifold markings and scribbles along the margins left no doubt about its ownership. The vestiges of repeated perusal only too clearly proclaimed that the convoluted instructions had been successfully translated into practice.
The pictures were startlingly vivid and it didn't take long for Shisui's imagination to picture a raven haired man applying those- those inconceivable contortionist techniques on the girl presently looking down at him with vindictive glee.
But seeing the signs of an apoplectic episode dawn on Shisui's face was not enough for Sakura. She pressed on as a soul possessed.
"Now we have tried most of the stuff there. Why, only yesterday while you were here Shisui-kun, we perfectly pulled off No.32, multiple times if I am perfectly honest--"
Shisui violently blanched as the detailed visuals of the diabolical No.32 assaulted his retinas with intensity. By this time, even Sasuke had unfortunately hazarded a glimpse of the offending picture and was actively labouring to not process the implications of what he'd just seen.
"Sakura--"
"Just eat your tomatoes, Sasuke-kun." Her voice left no room for argument.
Itachi sat on, languidly enjoying the scene before him. Shisui only had too well deserved the tidal waves of discomfiture that Sakura was ruthlessly unleashing over him. The game had gone one-sided for too long and everyone knew Itachi's passion for a balanced scale. Poor Shisui! How was he to know that Sakura's fastidiousness and his penchant for precision had worked only too well in the boudoir as in their missions?
Taking in the drama, Itachi almost didn't realize that Sasuke had crept up to his side.
"Aniki," began Sasuke in a carefully controlled voice, eyes resolutely fixed to the floor. "Can I borrow it?"
Itachi-nothing-fazes-me-Uchiha choked.
A.N: I didn't think naming the notorious book would be necessary;)